Observations by Key Monroe~~Home of Right Opinions, Cynical Viewpoints, and TMI in Hefty Doses
|E-mail: keymonroe [at] alltel [dot] net

April 24, 2007

Right Side Up

Easier said than done, right?

I have ripped up thirty-two credit card offers today. I am single. Broke. Fair credit. I suppose I fit the "spend more than you make" demographic.

Perhaps I should buy a humble abode with a garden, live off the land and wear outdated clothes. I can do that and be an ultra-suave, cut-throat real estate broker, n'est-ce pas?

Speaking of..if any of my Georgia readership (north of I-20) dares to use anyone other than Key Monroe for your next real estate transaction, I will have Yabu break your legs. Or worse, I could go the extreme route of the side-bar tip jar, right?

Hopefully that won't be necessary.

Regarding the disappearing acts... Typically, it's a state of guilt over time wastage that prevents me from entering this dimension too terribly often.

Last week, however, I was too busy wallowing in grief, and I've been trying to get "right side up" emotionally since. I knew it was coming, but that didn't help when it got here.

I've lost my most solid friend of twelve years, my orange tabby, Aziza. I've had her since before there was a Priss, and she has literally been the most loving feline I have ever known. Believe me when I say that she loved me with every fiber of her being. I held her as she died (from kidney failure), and I've been fumbling around in a foggy daze since.

So this one is for Aziza, the best kitty ever...


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posted by Key on 06:47 PM | Comments (24) | TrackBack (0)

April 15, 2007

Shame On You!

Because it's been a while since I've ranted, and well, I happen to hate, hate, hate that expression.

I'm okay with the idea of people feeling shame who should feel shame. But in what context would you actually use THAT expression? An expression that basically means the following:

Clearly you do not have a conscience, so I the Blameless, am going to use Almighty Guilt to alert you that you have done something for which you should be ashamed. And P.S., the "judge not lest ye be judged" passage does not apply to me.

Let's forget about adults saying it to adults. That's fairly unheard of, as it would take one hell of an arrogant ass.

My main gripe is parents who would say that to a child. Sure, it's fairly antiquated. But there are some dinosaurs out there! Believe it or not, I heard the phrase yesterday.

Fact is, my dog doesn't know English, but I wouldn't use it with her. There are just other ways to get a point across without lowering oneself into the realm of the condescending.

But what the hell. It's 10am on a Sunday morning, and I should be getting ready to go to church; shame on me!

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posted by Key on 08:59 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)

April 11, 2007


I keep writing all these brilliant posts, updating six, seven times a day. And then it's gone. Hijacked by those damn leprechauns. They must have my password. Somebody leaked it. There is a turncoat munuvian in the mix who shames the robe.

But I got it figured out. If I write crappy enough, they won't want it. It'll stay here. So you guys enjoy.

For future reference, if you are going to call me while you are chasing olives and midgets at Hartsfield, and profess you'll be ready to drive in no time...at least send a girl a text, a shout out when Double-O Dwarf-chaser is safe in bed.

Yes, bro, I am back. And where the helluvu been?

Last but not least, a Happy Birthday to Vdaddy. I hope you and Cat have fun partayin' away the night with that midget stripper he was talking about getting you. (Zman is gonna be so jealous!)

And NO I do not just blog for the meets. (BTW, when is the next one?)

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posted by Key on 10:12 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack (0)