July 28, 2004
If you haven't read it...
Do.
Hat tip to my man Sam, who has it going on.
Show Comments »
Well, I'll probably get insulted by other commenters like I have on many of the other blogs where I've had the temerity to not completely agree with the blogger when I commented, but I think Anne Coulter is not "witty" and "vivacious" but instead spiteful and hateful. In addition, she's an apologist for Joe McCarthy (which I rediscovered in a pissing match in the comments at Blackfive, much to my chagrin as I had forgotten it), which for me makes her almost as much a persona non-grata as Michael Moore.
I agree with what Sam said in terms of "what the heck did USA Today expect?", but I will not condemn their decision to not publish the column (even though their objections show how clueless they are).
Don't we have enough venom being spewed around without this yin and yang pair of Coulter and Moore adding to it?
posted by
Jack on July 28, 2004 11:24 PM
Sigh... why do I have to be such an opinionated son of a bitch who can't refrain from making his opinion known?
posted by
Jack on July 28, 2004 11:43 PM
...because you're a blogger. ; )
I don't quite see it that way, and I don't think it's only because she's infinitely more pleasing to look at than Michael Moore.
She introduces comedy into a topic that is beyond frustrating to conservatives.
If Michael Moore wants socialism, he can take his pick....dozens of countries can offer him that form of government TODAY.
However, if this country continues to head that way, those who oppose such infringements are screwed...we have no other option; preserving what's left of this set-up is all we have.
...thus the frustration.
Any comedic relief is an appreciated distraction.
For that I say, thanks Ann.
posted by
Key on July 29, 2004 05:29 PM
...and Jack, for what it's worth, I behaved myself - well, as best I could - in the previous post.
Perhaps your voice of reason has calmed my nerves ever so slightly. I forced myself to leave out any references towards demoturds or demwits! ; )
posted by
Key on July 29, 2004 05:33 PM
Thanks Key!
posted by
Sam on July 29, 2004 06:47 PM
Key, I appreciate the compliment regarding my "voice of reason". Call me a fuddy-dud, but I have a hard time finding humor in a column that starts out describing the Democrats as "the spawn of Satan". To me, that is just as bad as what Michael Moore has done, especially coming from the pen (or should I say keyboard) of one who has defended Joe McCarthy in her books.
I find it ironic than many of those who condemn the French, including very prominently Ms. Coulter, say that McCarthy who in many ways emulated the behavior of the French of 150 years before his time, is nothing but a maligned patriot. McCarthyism was the closest we came to resembling our enemy the Soviet Union during the Cold War, and for those who don't recall their history, the worst atrocities of the French Revolution were based upon the mere accusation of "not supporting the Revolution" in the same manner as the mere accusation by Mr. McCarthy could and would ruin the career of many an innocent person.
Is it wrong that I can't separate Ms. Coulter's support of McCarthy from her other work? No more wrong than those who cannnot separate the individual works of Mr. Moore from his pronouncements to the media. For that same reason I will remain a fuddy-dud and not separate Ms. Coulter's (to me feeble) attempts at humor from the damage she has done and continues to do to our democratic republic through her vitriolic attacks (that resemble those of Mr. Moore remarkably well) and her misrepresentation of history.
posted by
Jack on July 29, 2004 10:53 PM
Yeah, the whole "spawn of satan" thing was a bit much. And I'll agree that it's a shame that she likely lost readership due to such sloppiness.
I prefer articles that shed light on the reasons that more government is a bad idea, no matter how sugar-coated. Unfortunately, these articles aren't offensive enough to get published and/or gain recognition.
I must ask, Jack, are you a moderate or a democrat? Your sympathy seems to go only one way these days!
posted by
Key on July 30, 2004 06:19 PM
Oh, you're welcome Sam. ; )
Now. Where the hell did you go? Aren't you going to defend your tall blonde? (Not me, the other one...)
posted by
Key on July 30, 2004 06:22 PM
Well, Key, I'm a moderate who reads mainly conservative weblogs, so if I "go mainly one way" on occasion it's to give *myself* balance (we're supposed to be writing for ourselves, right??? :-P ). See my follow up on Jim's post on illegal seizure of firearms for a non "liberal leaning" recent post, if you like.
Actually, I've been leaving comments on other weblogs that "lean liberal" and as a consequence have been accused of being from a "conservative moron". When I comment on blogs that "lean conservative" I get told I'm a "sycophantic twit". That's why it's so tiring to be in the middle, you get shot at from BOTH sides. Last time I checked, I'm not a moron, nor am I a sycophant (although I may very well be a twit, I'm not objective enough to tell... :-P )
I've been planning on making three posts, one on the things I don't like about Kerry, one on the things I don't like about Bush, and one on what I believe. I've been delayed in writing them because it's been a heck of a week here for me.
Does that answer your question, or is it TMI (too much information)?
posted by
Jack on July 30, 2004 06:38 PM
Hold on sweetie...I'm always there for you...I'll be back. I must think a bit about the "yin and yang pair of Coulter and Moore". What?
Wow!!!!
posted by
Sam on July 30, 2004 08:40 PM
Jack: I insult thee! What do you call people who disembowel babies, and base their party's platform on the seven deadly sins? Overenthusiastic idealists? What specifically did McCarthy do except accuse people of treason who turn out to have been guilty of treason? Can Coulter's defenses of him be rebuted by arguments other than "no, no, no, he was a bad meanie, this is too extreme"? Moderates are like schoolteachers, more that fifty percent of them are morons, so that's the way to bet.
posted by
Dave Munger on July 31, 2004 09:47 PM
I do not believe Ann Coulter is spiteful and hateful. I do not believe she misrepresents history. Period. I do believe she is well educated, and capable of seeing through the fog of the Democratic Party. The fact is, whenever the Democrats are confronted with cold hard facts, they try to spin them to their advantage. Sadly, and they realize this; the only way they can win is to spin it (lie) so that the uninformed voter sees them as their savior. Uninformed voters equal about 90 % of the ten most populated cities / areas of the United States, right? You know, the same people from whom Gore got the majority of his votes in 2000. I’m not going to touch Joe McCarthy; what the hell does that have to do with USA Today stepping on their dicks (which was why I linked it in the first place)? What is the relation? There is none.
To me, mentioning Ann Coulter in the same sentence with that piece of shit Michael Moore is true comedy.
Ann Coulter’s opinions have, in my opinion, done no damage to our democratic republic. On the contrary, hopefully, they have opened the eyes and minds of some Americans I would call, undecided voters. After all, it’s the “undecided” that will determine the outcome of this election. The world has changed.
Jack is absolutely correct: McCarthyism was the closest we came to resembling our enemy the Soviet Union during the Cold War, but, that was because the Democrats were leaning toward true Socialism, and perfecting the Spin. If it wasn’t for McCarthy, they might have been successful. And I said I wasn’t going to touch it. I lied and spun it.
We should remember, though, Ronald RayGun won it. We are all much better off because of it.
Jack…I really look forward to meeting you some time in the future, and I look forward to the three posts you mentioned earlier. Are you a chess player? A well set board, bottle of Scotch, and good conversation…my idea of a good time…cept' I’m happily married and take that for granted…my wife plays…are there chess groupies, ya think?
Anyway, I agree with Ann Coulter. I agree with Key. I believe that preserving what's left of what we have is all we have.
USA Today is the only colorful rag stuffed next to the portable puke bucket in the back of the seats on airplanes. I guess that means something.
posted by
Sam on July 31, 2004 10:39 PM
Mr. Munger, despite your insults to moderates, those who actually choose to THINK instead of just jerking their knees out of joint, I will chose to respond to one part of your comment. You say, "What specifically did McCarthy do except accuse people of treason who turn out to have been guilty of treason?" Give me a list of who among those accused by McCarthy were found guilty of treason by a jury of their peers, as specified in our Constitution. That list will have NO names on it. Accusations of treason are not proof of treason. With your poor grasp of history, I think your analysis of the impact McCarthy had is questionable at best and tends to weaken your unjustified statement that teachers and moderates are morons. I suggest that if you’re going to call someone a moron, you’d best better have your own facts straight.
Sam, we'll have to agree to disagree regarding Moore and Coulter. I brought up Ms. Coulter's defense of McCarthy because if we're going to judge Mr. Moore on his works, we should judge Ms. Coulter on hers, including her defense of McCarthy and McCarthyism. I dislike the methods of both Mr. Moore and Ms. Coulter. I have seen Mr. Moore's movies and statements to the media, and I have read a lot of Ms. Coulter's writings. If you take out the politics and look at HOW they make their arguments, not what they are advocating, you will find very little difference in their tactics, in their skewing and distorting of facts, and in some cases making things up out of whole cloth. Sadly enough, they both resemble McCarthy in that mere accusation is sufficient, actual evidence is irrelevant and can be manufactured to support the “fact” of the accusation. That is why I referred to them as yin and yang; to me they are merely opposite sides of the same corroded coin, like the witches in Macbeth, stirring the pot to create trouble. I have yet to identify the third witch, however…
Key and I have exchanged a few very long emails over this, and we're as far apart as it may seem on the face of it in this comment page.
As more terror alerts arise, more people are beheaded abroad, more divisiveness arises at home, there are times I wonder if I miss the days of the Cold War, until I recall that we faced nuclear annihilation based on the hard, inhumane logic of MAD, Mutual Assured Destruction. Now, even if terrorists get a nuclear weapon, horrifying as that prospect is, we will not lose ALL major cities in the US, as we would have in an attack from the USSR. So, yes, we are better off because of the efforts of Ronald Reagan and all those who preceded him back to Harry Truman. Regarding the socialist tendencies the Democratic Party was showing in the 1950s, I am not sure the Democrats would have succeeded in implementing socialist policies even without the jolt of McCarthyism. What is often forgotten is that Socialism is not identical to Communism. The two-day weekend and 40-hour workweek are products of Socialism, but we regard them as fundamental now, just as the Emancipation Proclamation was the result of radical Liberalism. I am not advocating Socialism, but I am pointing out that what we now think of as “normal” was once considered radical and, horrors, Socialist. Things change, people change, but the world continues.
There is an irony in historical change. The party that now stands for Conservatism was birthed by the breaking away of a group of Liberals from the Whig Party. There is a lesson in that irony that is being lost in the SFSN (Sound and Fury Signifying Nothing) that is the main product of our politicians today.
To prevent this rambling from becoming a post that belongs on MY weblog, I should wrap this up. Sam, I do play chess, and there are “chess groupies”, or at least there are in Austin. Unfortunately, I’m in France right now, and my cat tends to dislodge the other pieces when he makes moves on the chessboard. I do enjoy a fine single malt and good conversation between reasonable people who respect each other even if they do not agree on all points. I would definitely enjoy that with you and anyone else who would care to participate.
There is one thing we can agree upon unequivocally, though. I have always referred to USA Today as “the Weekly Reader for adults.” It is sad that trees die to make the paper it is published on.
posted by
Jack on August 1, 2004 12:50 PM
Bloody hell!!! I meant to say that Key and I are NOT as far apart as it may seem in the comments here.
D'OH!
posted by
Jack on August 1, 2004 01:02 PM
Jack, I respectfully agree, to disagree. It would surely be boring if we were all in agreement all the time.
We'll have that single malt and a game some day, no doubt.
posted by
Sam on August 1, 2004 02:38 PM
Jack, living in France has caused you to lose your sense of humour ( ;
I think Ann Coulter is very funny. She is smart and clever and she bugs the heck out of people who disagree with her. Heck, its her right as a journalist in a country with true free speech rights.
I thought the column was obviously very funny and obviously very tongue in cheek.
posted by
Beth Donovan on August 1, 2004 05:52 PM
At the risk of proving your point for you, Beth, tell me I've lost my sense of humor when you find something Michael Moore has done funny.
:-P
As I said, I find them BOTH offensive, which means as much as you dislike Moore, I disike him, but I also dislike Coulter just as much. Hence the apparent "loss of humor" in failing to appreciate the attempts at humor in her column.
See my post today about the paper made of elephant dung if you want to see my still living sense of humor.
;-)
posted by
Jack on August 1, 2004 06:29 PM
I don't think Michael Moore has ever *tried* to be funny. Ann Coulter does, and I think she is succeeds.
And, poor, dear, Jack, I did read the elephant dung paper story. . . .
I still really like you!
posted by
Beth Donovan on August 1, 2004 09:08 PM
« Hide Comments
Oh, Forthaluva...
Don't take the children!
Take the celebrities, take the ignorant, take the closet socialists, but don't take the children!
I'm going to remember her name. Ilana Wexler. Maybe I'll call her up in about 10 years to see if maturity has knocked some sense into her given her a greater appreciation for less government.
People are so busy buying into the smokescreens that they are missing the big picture.
If you vote democratic, you vote for more government and more taxes. Period. I don't care if you think you are voting democratic for a different reason, this is the result of your action.
Now, there are reasons to vote democratic. They are as follows:
1. If you actually buy into the "social issues" smokescreen, and feel so passionately about your particular issue that you are willing to sacrifice your current (already compromised) form of government to a socialist regime to get it.
2. If you are too friggin lazy to support yourself, and are convinced that your country owes you something.
3. If you have so much money that you really don't give a shit... so you a) follow your peers, and b) rationalize that since you have more than you could possibly spend in several lifetimes, it's not going to break you to support the #2's out there. After all, it's a small price to pay for popularity.
I could go on. I won't. If I brought defense into it, I'd be typing another hour.
Look, I have friends (one or two), who are democrats. I'm not saying that they are all idiots. I am saying that with all the "here and now" hype, it has been easy enough for them to have lost sight of the big picture.
I see it. I don't like it. Where's the demand for less government?
Show Comments »
A democracy can exist only as long as the people don't vote themselves largesse. That's not an exact quote but it's close to what de Toqueville said many years ago.
The Democrat party today stands for dispensing largesse, and the only way to do that is to steal from the produtive and give to the non-productive, using the force of government.
I fear John Kerry and the Democrats.
posted by
Acidman on July 30, 2004 03:51 AM
To Ilana Wexler
I applaud you for the courage to go on National TV! Your group deserves the Stupid Award of the Century!!!! You stand for the biggest oxymoron group that has ever been formed!!!! I am amazed that a group of people are in such darkness. You must have the IQ of -2.
Let me inform you about your CHOICE (Kerry)!!! He is the BIGGEST PRO-DEATH candidate that has walked the earth since Hitler. Have you not heard what he supports???? Partial Birth Abortion! Abortion at EVERY stage of life after conception!!! (Let me inform you what the bible says about life:
Jeremiah
Chapter 1
5 Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you…)
Embryonic Stem Cell Research! Euthanasia! Gay Marriage!!! How do you get ‘Kids’ out of ANY OF THIS????? BUY THEM???? Where?????? You voted to Kill them all!!!! Your CHOICE wants to down size the Military! Your CHOICE wants to RAISE TAXES!!!
Look at what satanic Clinton did to our country! Did you not have enough PRO DEATH with HIM??? That beast got the USA into the One World Government. Bush worked Very Hard to undo that Damage. Clinton also SENT OUR JOBS OVERSEAS!!!! Bush has worked like heck to try to repair the damage from that! Bush undid Partial Birth Abortion that Clinton signed the 2nd day of office, his first term. STUDY THE FACTS OF WHAT YOU ARE PROMOTTING BEFORE YOU MAKE AN IDIOT OF YOURSELF!!!
Let me inform you. IF YOUR ARE "KIDS FOR KERRY". You need to open your eyes and do the research before you (a KID) promote such evilness!!!! CHILDREN NEED CHILDREN TO PLAY WITH… IF WE DO NOT HAVE CHILDREN (LIFE), (GOD IS LIFE), (SATATN IS DEATH) THEN WE DO NOT HAVE ANYTHING!!!!!
OPEN YOUR STUPID EYES!!!!!
Ann Marie Jones
posted by
Ann Jones on August 29, 2004 06:28 AM
« Hide Comments
posted by Key on
04:36 PM
|
Comments (2)
July 27, 2004
Happy Dance
Da du-du-du-du-du, yeah!
Da du-du-du-du-du, hey!
She's back!
She's offering up some lame excuse about her arm having been broken in three places. Don't listen to it. Go give her hell.
In other news, Eric may be facing a serious smiting.
Velociman, don't smite him yet...lemme go make my popcorn first. (...just kidding Eric. Seriously, I got your back.)
Show Comments »
.. woe betide the one who catches the wrath of the Velocigod.. somehow, I think that a Hail Mary will not be CLOSE to enough atonement...
posted by
Eric on July 27, 2004 10:13 PM
Eric's fine. A bit slow, perhaps, but fine. I figured with all the hard work he was doing cleaning up my porn spam he may have been distracted. Understandable. Hell, I went to the goat sex site twicet.
posted by
Velociman on July 29, 2004 04:10 AM
« Hide Comments
July 26, 2004
Pity Party Over
I survived the weekend, and today I am left with nothing more than the memories, sore muscles, and jostled brain.
Sunday was his family...the fun (rather than obligatory) outing...the day on the boat.
Apparently, there's some sort of tube war going on between my sister-in-law and her husband. Unaware of their unspoken "lemme see if I can throw you" game, I innocently entered the humungo sized tube with the woman.
It hurt.
Hanging on for dear life behind a boat going 45 mph - although it felt like twice that - I cursed the swerving, maniacal madman steering the speedboat (that I could barely make out) thirty feet in front of me...
No. I do NOT have pictures. Sick people.
I lived.
Isn't that good enough for you?
Show Comments »
I'm glad...it is for me.
posted by
Sam on July 27, 2004 12:45 AM
Key,
What hurt? Did you stay in the tube or not? Hitting the water at 45 MPH can do worse than hurt. Glad you lived... Been there myself, fortunately our boat couldn't do much more than 30 when pulling a tube - lucky for us. There always seemed to be a sadistic son of a bitch at the helm.
Glad you had a good time at the lake, and welcome back!
posted by
John on July 27, 2004 02:14 AM
I'm glad you lived, too.
posted by
Jack on July 27, 2004 05:08 AM
I thought you knew better than to get in a tube at your advanced age.
posted by
James Old Guy on July 27, 2004 02:40 PM
Thanks guys...even you James. ; )
John, you nailed it. I hung on because I was afraid to fall off. We were going so fast that the water felt like asphalt under the tube.
My aching ass...literally. I could really use a deep tissue massage...even if I have to pay for it!
posted by
Key on July 27, 2004 07:44 PM
I'll give you a massage for free.
posted by
Acidman on July 30, 2004 03:54 AM
« Hide Comments
posted by Key on
10:11 PM
|
Comments (6)
July 23, 2004
Poor ME!
I have to hang out at the lake all weekend...
No really...poor me!
Saturday, my family. Sunday, his.
No rest for the weary.
Show Comments »
Have fun! :)
posted by
Lawren on July 23, 2004 11:09 PM
Thanks Lawren. I did. : )
posted by
Key on July 26, 2004 06:03 PM
« Hide Comments
posted by Key on
10:46 PM
|
Comments (2)
Blog News
Two of my favorite fellas are back from brief blogging hiatus. Where would I be without my smartass and pain in the ass?
Welcome Back! (Drinks on Eric!)
Show Comments »
.. I have a complete bar in my house.. come on over anytime...
posted by
Eric on July 23, 2004 11:41 PM
Okay, but I'm not drinking out of any martini glasses. Oh, and make sure you have plenty of nacho cheese...
posted by
Adam on July 23, 2004 11:47 PM
Can I be your Stupid Ass?
posted by
Velociman on July 25, 2004 04:46 AM
V-man, I must object to that... you're much more wicked than you are stupid.
However, you're STUPID comment system has me fairly irritated. So the little man in there who rejects my comments can be Stupid Ass, how about that?
posted by
Key on July 26, 2004 11:48 PM
« Hide Comments
posted by Key on
10:44 PM
|
Comments (4)
It Smells So Sweet...
...that you just want to peel off your clothes and rub it all over your body!
So I did.
It's good stuff, and you gotta love a gal with a unique sales pitch.
Okay, get lost people...Go buy some soap.
(No, I'm not getting any kick-backs...yet.)
Show Comments »
Thanks for the mention, Key.
If people buy enough, Tampon Angel can get a new dress.
posted by
Anna on July 24, 2004 12:42 PM
Great! That way I won't have send child support!
posted by
Key on July 26, 2004 11:42 PM
« Hide Comments
posted by Key on
09:48 PM
|
Comments (2)
Technical Difficulties...
Those of you and you and you who are irritated with me cuz I haven't updated my blogroll, bear with me!
A kind soul set up my page for me, as well as my blogroll, which for your information, is not in the main index of my template.
Any other guesses?
UPDATE: Thank you Anton! Apparently, I have more than one subcategory of templates. Due to his wise words, "scroll down [dumbass]," I have become acquainted with my blogroll. I'll spend more time on it later, but I think I took care of immediate needs.
BTW, my comments are no longer emailed to me, so I've lost a lot of urls. If yours has changed, or you'd like to be added, let me know now...before the spring cleaning bug leaves my body!
Show Comments »
Key How the hell are you would call you but sprint doesn't have service in the westRick and I are on the road Atlanta Ga on the July 3 senoia on the 4th etwoah at erics on the 5 missouri kentucky kansas ok ut nm santafe los alamos bandalier st park las vegas 128 miles per hour on 93 through the desert to the north rim of the grand canyon then the south rim yellowstone to crater land lost river of course this was fast because we could find no room in the inn. on to custer land over to deadwood (but we didnot go to the presidents in rapid city went up through sd nd canadaspent 45 minutes in customs he did every thing but squeeze the toothpaste. spent one night there came out at glacier national park absoultly fabulous should enter from the west we now have seven days to make it to seattle wa gonna do the coast of oregon and washington if I get phon service again I'll give you a call love ya Ga and Rick
would spell check but rick said I'll probably lose it so just bear with all the mistakes.
posted by
georgia on July 23, 2004 04:30 PM
WEll I was beginning to think you didn't like me anymore...
:-)
posted by
Jesse on July 23, 2004 05:06 PM
Thanks for the link, Sweetness.
About the emailmerbob. I had lost the ability to receive emailed comments when I was still under Greeblie's subdomain even though I was correctly configured in MT. I was setup to send to my anton.shrek@verizon.net addy. Everything worked fine until Dave stuffed us into a bargin basement hosting company that did not offer an outgoing SMTP server. It was only until I had my own domain and an actual Anton@LastManDancing.com mailbox within the domain that the hosting company allowed the comment emailing feature to work.
You can do one of 2 things. A)Request a mailbox with a mu.nu domain address and configure MT and your email program to access that mailbox. or B)Get your own domain and hosting account with a mailbox within that domain (and setup your email program to access that box).
posted by
Anton on July 23, 2004 06:08 PM
Good to hear from you Georgia!
I got your voice mail last week, but couldn't get the number...I'll try your cell.
Anton - I guess it's just as well that I don't get the emails. I'm horrible about cleaning out the inbox, so the comments end up making a mess of things.
posted by
Key on July 26, 2004 05:59 PM
« Hide Comments
posted by Key on
12:38 AM
|
Comments (4)
July 22, 2004
Another one by Young Dave
For Linda.
MENOPAUSAL, GUESS YOU’RE ‘BOUT ALL OUT OF MENSES
YOU'VE BEEN HAVING HOT FLASHES FOR SO LONG NOW
OH YOU'VE GOT NO SEX DRIVE, AND YOU FIND THAT YOUR BLADDER IS LEAKING
AND YOU’RE NOT REALLY SLEEPING, AND YOU LOOK LIKE A COW
YOUR ESTROGEN IS DEPLETED NOW
IN FACT IT’S CLOSE TO ZERO
YOU HEARD ABOUT SOME PILLS THAT YOU MIGHT TAKE
ANY ONE WHO STANDS YOUR MOOD SWINGS WOULD BE SOME KIND OF A HERO
BUT HE’S SAFER IF HE BRINGS YOU CHOCOLATE CAKE
MENOPAUSAL, YOU AIN'T GETTING NO YOUNGER
YOUR PAIN AND YOUR HUNGER WILL LEAVE YOU ALL ALONE
AND FREEDOM, OH FREEDOM, THAT'S JUST SOME PEOPLE TALKING
YOUR HAIR’S STARTED THINNING; YOUR SKIN’S DRY AS A BONE
NOW YOUR FEET GET COLD IN THE SUMMER TIME
YOU SWEAT LIKE A PIG THOUGH IT’S COLD OUTSIDE
YOU HATE THAT YOUR VAGINA’S SO INFLAMED
YOU URINATE WHEN YOU LAUGH OR COUGH
IT AIN’T FUNNY HOW YOU’RE FEELING OFF TODAY
MENOPAUSAL, WHY DON'T YOU GIVE UP YOUR MENSES
SAY AU REVOIR TO YOUR OVARIES AND GIVE THEM A BREAK
IT MAY BE RAINING, OR YOU MAY HAVE JUST WET YOUR PANTS
YOU BETTER GET SOME MORE RED CLOVER, GET SOME MORE RED CLOVER
GET SOME MORE RED CLOVER BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE
Show Comments »
As much as I dislike linda... is there an emoticon for a menopausal woman who reads something she'd rather not have come across in the first place?? Ugh.
posted by
pam on July 22, 2004 10:02 PM
I'm sure there is!
This is actually from a talented friend who has a dark and crass sense of humor.
He's very good, actually, but refuses to get his own blog.
You must exclude yourself from the words; They're only intended for asshat menopausal women. (It if it was about menopausal women in general, it wouldn't be here.)
posted by
Key on July 22, 2004 10:30 PM
NO 8==> TODAY
...or something like that.
posted by
Anton on July 22, 2004 11:19 PM
Let's put one more = in there...
posted by
Key on July 23, 2004 12:03 AM
There are certain times--you know they are--in which I long for menopause. Let's get this shizam over with already! :-)
posted by
Juliette on July 28, 2004 10:30 PM
« Hide Comments
posted by Key on
09:53 PM
|
Comments (5)
Your e-mails...
I haven't intensified my spam block settings thus far, for fear I'd miss out on the occasional piece of gushing fan mail.
But this week I snapped. After deleting 200 pieces of crap, which piled up during one weekend, I had to turn on the screens.
If you are in my directory, no problem. If not, please don't be annoyed if you don't hear from me right away. (Sometimes I forget to check the "junk" folder.)
If you end up resending the email, try putting something in the "subject" area that would separate you from a spammer. "Not spam" doesn't work by the way. (Try something relating to the blog or anything mentioned therein.)
If I still miss it, leave me a comment and cuss my ass out! (I can take it. I might even like it.)
Show Comments »
Email spam...Comment spam...What is the world coming to?
I think we should kill 'em all.
posted by
Sam on July 22, 2004 09:21 PM
I think it choked the system; hotmail has been down for 2 hours...
posted by
Key on July 23, 2004 12:01 AM
« Hide Comments
posted by Key on
07:13 PM
|
Comments (2)
July 21, 2004
So Sue Me.
No not really.
Dumbasses. Litigious dumbasses.
You know, if I had no character or sense of worth, I could dream up reasons to sue people. I've pulled nasty-ass things out of my food at established restaurant chains. I've been propositioned by the president of a multi-million dollar corporation, for whom I was employed. I've been run off of the road by a nervous sixteen-year old who had just gotten his license. And I've had tenants run off owing thousands in rent.
Yet I've never sued anyone. Amazing.
I'm not saying that I never would. If I am blatantly wronged in a way that negatively impacts my family, reputation, or livelihood, and cannot be settled any other way, I'm there.
Nope, not how it's seen anymore.
I try to collect on unpaid invoices. They don't feel like paying. "Sue me," they say. Nice. "No thanks." I tell them, "I'll just put a lien on your house."
Okay, so people don't want to take it seriously. Well, I do. So...DON'T CALL MY ASS AND THREATEN TO SUE ME IF YOU DON'T MEAN IT!
Yeah, yesterday was a great day. It's not going to happen; there's no case, but it's still irritating.
Have you noticed gentle audience, that the I'm-suing-you-because-I-need-the-money type seems to be a subcategory of the I-have-no-integrity-and-can't-accept-personal-responsibility much larger group?
Key Moral to the Story: If someone drops the ball, don't pick it up and hand it to them. If you do, you must be the one who knocked it out of their hand to begin with.
Show Comments »
Dear Key:
Amazing.
I bought a rental house once - diversification, and all. I started out feeling VERY good about my foray into providing housing for other people, until I made my first inspection.
Ruined carpet. A mudhole in the back lawn where the badminton net had been set up. Dirt smeared on the walls. I could go on....
I made a mental tally ,which was about 7x their $500 security deposit, and evicted them on the spot.
Then began my odyssey -- I found that in Oregon, 30 days is MINIMUM, and they can do ANYTHING to your property during that time -- which; of course; they did.
I sued.
That was 22 years ago. I've yet to recover anything.
Cheers!
-Will
posted by
Will on July 22, 2004 04:30 AM
Yeah, that's what I figured. Those tenants of mine actually deserved to be sued, but I knew I'd never see a dime of they owed anyway.
posted by
Key on July 22, 2004 03:17 PM
« Hide Comments
July 20, 2004
Arnold, honey...
Don't apologize for calling them "Girlie Men." Rather, apologize for ending the speech with "Hasta la vista, baby."
I cringe.
How can anyone call the man a homophobe after he does something so incredibly gay?
Show Comments »
July 19, 2004
Yucky Monday Suck Blah
That is all.
Show Comments »
Ouch...
posted by
Jack on July 19, 2004 08:39 PM
Double Ouch...
posted by
Sam on July 19, 2004 09:32 PM
Agreed!!
posted by
john on July 20, 2004 12:57 AM
and especially double yucky monday sucky blah after being out of the office for three weeks!!!
posted by
Michele on July 20, 2004 09:56 AM
Mondays are there to make you appreciate the other six days of the week.
posted by
Sandcrab on July 20, 2004 06:22 PM
« Hide Comments
posted by Key on
08:15 PM
|
Comments (5)
July 17, 2004
I wasn't going to write this weekend...
...but I just have one question.
And, may I first point out that I let a LOT of weirdo searches go by without commenting.
Some don't make since, but they're still okay...hey, #1 on Yahoo for "Key of Wow."
But although I'm (thankfully) not #1 on this search, I still must object. What the hell did I ever do to deserve that??
Show Comments »
Key of Wow...I like that. You're right, there are some wierd F_____s on the Internet.
Google for "Toe Cleavage".
posted by
Sam on July 17, 2004 11:09 PM
« Hide Comments
posted by Key on
10:51 PM
|
Comments (1)
July 16, 2004
Working the Eyes
I started young.
Show Comments »
...awwww.... you haven't changed a bit...
posted by
Eric on July 16, 2004 11:41 PM
Your blog entertains me. That is all. :-)
posted by
Paul M. on July 17, 2004 06:52 AM
Good Lord. Is that you? You look like Steve Buschemi. And I mean that in a nice way.
posted by
Velociman on July 17, 2004 07:49 AM
Sweet!!!!
posted by
Sam on July 17, 2004 02:35 PM
Ah, Kelley - Gorgeous then ... more gorgeous now. Best, Terry
posted by
Terry Reynolds on July 17, 2004 06:41 PM
I'd have given you my lunch money.
posted by
Geoffrey on July 17, 2004 09:42 PM
That is so sweet! I would have carried your books home any day!
posted by
John on July 17, 2004 10:06 PM
Aaaw thanks guys... I had to grow into the eyes, which took a while. (For several years I had a serious case of ugly duckling syndrome!)
posted by
Key on July 17, 2004 10:41 PM
I agree with Mr. Self Bondage.
posted by
Velociman on February 5, 2005 09:49 AM
« Hide Comments
posted by Key on
09:04 PM
|
Comments (9)
»
The Brier Patch links with:
My Internet Chic...
Here it is...
5 months jail, 5 months house arrest, and years worth of negative publicity...
Justify it to death - whatever, I still think it's stupid.
Show Comments »
Yes, I do need to fix my clock. (It's five hours fast.)
posted by
Key on July 16, 2004 04:20 PM
Gee, and here I was thinking you were living in *my* current time zone...
:-P
Yes, you are right, the whole Martha Stewart thing is stupid.
posted by
Jack on July 16, 2004 06:22 PM
Dear Key:
Bravo!
Martha herself said it best -- "This is shameful." You and I spent good tax money chasing someone who baked cookies.
The mean-spirited juror aside (remember the fellow who said, "This is a victory for the little guy?") -- we were not served as a nation, nor was business made any more ethical by this goose-chase.
Proof that Harlan Ellison and Albert Einstein were both right: There really ARE two universal elements - hydrogen; and stupidity....
Cheers!
-Will
posted by
Will on July 16, 2004 10:00 PM
But...don't you feel safer on the streets now?
posted by
John on July 17, 2004 10:05 PM
« Hide Comments
posted by Key on
04:17 PM
|
Comments (4)
Any Psychics Out There?
I could use some winning lotto numbers. No need for greed, I'll settle for the six figure petty cash ticket.
Long day...too many hours with three phone lines and one me...going home...
Show Comments »
posted by Key on
12:49 AM
|
Comments (0)
July 14, 2004
Rainbow Tongue
I love clear stuff. Clear juices, clear medicines, clear popsicles...these dye-free modern wonders excite me so!
It's not that I'm an organic freak who struggles over food purity issues; And I'm not really a cleanliness freak, but once a child has rejected cherry flavored cough syrup, their clothes have seen their last day.
Meanwhile, the kids' theory is the brighter the better.
They'll create a vacuum between the lollipop and their tongue, then remove it, stick out their tongues, and ask the question that I've heard too many times to count, "What color is my tongue?"
Then I'll say "green," and my reward will be the sound hysterical, satisfied laughter.
So today, I figured if ya can't beat 'em, join 'em. I really love Now & Laters anyway.
I'm sportin' a rainbow tongue.
(I'd post a pic, but I can't think of a dignified way to pose for it!)
Show Comments »
Hmmmmm...
Red wine (which I prefer by far over white) makes my tounge an odd shade of deep purple.
Well, there you go.
posted by
Jack on July 14, 2004 10:30 PM
The mirror! Go to the mirror and snap a pic of your tongue. :D
posted by
pam on July 14, 2004 10:41 PM
Hysterical, satisfied laughter...
...and a rainbow tongue?
Too Cool!!!
posted by
Sam on July 15, 2004 04:11 AM
Dear Key - Since when did you worry about "dignified? WTF is going on? Love, Terry
posted by
Terry Reynolds on July 15, 2004 02:35 PM
Heck with the pictures. If that's anything like a "rainbow coalition", I want video.
posted by
Anton on July 15, 2004 03:43 PM
Well, you could have _called_ me and asked me to take a picture! We could have done it at the local bar and gotten everyone talking. Again. Then I could have made inappropriate suggestions, you could have sucked on a multicolored lolipop in suggestive ways, the kids could have played Stargate pinball and the entire town of (deleted) could have had something to talk about for simply WEEKS.
But noooooo. You refuse to be as naturally entertaining as you know you can be. Spoilsport.
posted by
John Ringo on August 18, 2004 09:59 PM
« Hide Comments
posted by Key on
10:18 PM
|
Comments (6)
I don't get it...
I'm not going to throw a hissy fit over a slain tiger, but I do have a question...
Why would anyone go on a tiger hunt - with the goal being live capture - without enough tranquilizer guns to go around?
It appears, in fact, that the one man attempting to net the creature was not outfitted with a tranquilizer gun.
Hmm...My gut says they wanted the beast dead or alive, but preferably dead.
Show Comments »
I'm inclined to give the local law enforcement folks a break on this one.
How many tranquilizer guns do you think were available? They aren't NEARLY as common as regular guns. Also, the job of the police department is to protect the public safety, not to protect the life of an animal that may or may not be tame.
It's all a matter of balance. How would you be reacting if that tiger had mauled a child? Would you be asking why they hadn't killed it before it found a child to munch on?
posted by
Jack on July 14, 2004 07:52 PM
Oh, I'm okay with the fact that the beast is dead.
The act they were putting on is what annoyed me.
I saw the long face of the officer sadly telling the press that they just had no other option... knowing fool well that when they were briefed that morning they were told "just kill the damn thing and make it look like it was an accident, so I won't have PETA crawling up my ass."
(It's also possible that I'm still pissed at my TV.)
posted by
Key on July 14, 2004 08:56 PM
« Hide Comments
posted by Key on
07:21 PM
|
Comments (2)
July 13, 2004
Sexual Tension
Ahhh, the undercurrent of society, the energy that makes the world go 'round.
Strange stuff.
...a pain in the ass really.
It doesn't discriminate. It doesn't care whether you're rich or poor, black or white, married or single.
It's a very crippling disease, often melting the brains of those affected.
Is it mutual?
Rarely.
The god of sexual tension has a dark sense of humor.
If she didn't, otherwise normal men (or women for that matter) wouldn't walk up to the opposite sex and say, "I know you want me..."
WTF? Sounds like low budget film material.
I think that the few times that the line has been tried on me, I simply laughed.
But I thought If I wanted your ass, I'd be taking your ass. Now, what else do you know that you don't know? Speaking of arrogance...
Here's what I'm wondering...Is it just human nature to assume mutual attraction, or is it simply the old school theory of the inflated ego talking?
Show Comments »
Ummmmm, okaaaaaaaaaaay...
Not knowing the circumstances, all that can realy be said is that it is a part of the common ego that when they're willing to say something out loud, that means they DO believe in their hearts there is a mutual attraction.
Is it human nature, not in general I don't think, but it is with a certain subset of folks.
posted by
Jack on July 13, 2004 11:19 PM
Human nature. Gotta be. ;)
posted by
pam on July 13, 2004 11:39 PM
Hard to tell...human nature or old school. I say it depends on how we were raised. I've never said "I know you want me...", but I've ALWAYS known when that was the case. Bashful as I am.
Good question.
posted by
Sam on July 14, 2004 01:49 AM
Key...wasn't talking about you.
posted by
Sam on July 14, 2004 01:26 PM
This is about me, isn't it?
:P
posted by
Michael on July 14, 2004 03:32 PM
... I never know... I'm totally clueless in picking up on things like that..
posted by
Eric on July 14, 2004 04:50 PM
Thanks Pam... That's what I was thinking.
Now I can better understand guys like Jack, Sam and Michael!
posted by
Key on July 14, 2004 04:51 PM
You mean you really DON'T want me?
Sandra Bullock will be so glad to hear that, 'cause I know SHE really wants me...
My wife is ROTFLHAO as I write this.
posted by
Jesse on July 16, 2004 05:44 PM
girls like confidence.
but saying that is about as stupid as checking to see if the firecracker went out.
you tell a girl why she SHOULD want, not that she already does.
posted by
red clay on July 21, 2004 07:14 AM
Hmmm...
I was talking with...Key about this the other day and I think it's sort of a personal problem.
Now, me, I very rarely...okay, have never, had a female come up to me and say "I know you want me." Close to that one time, but that's a long story. And one guy, but that's a longer story.
On the other hand, I've known Key for about a year now and...sorry, Key, it's a personal problem. You _exude_ "I need to get laid." If you weren't a nice conservative lady from...well the south, if, just taking an example, you'd been born as a haetara in ancient times, you'd be breaking the hearts, and bodies, of men day in and day out.
In this day and age, and if you weren't who you are personally, your best bet would be to move to Germany. In no more than a year you'd be a "Gold Band" making more money than I do.
There's a reason I created the "seven foot separation" rule when we were looking at houses. Just being in the same _room_ with you makes me have to go home and have a cold shower.
Oh, by the way, hi. I said I'd stop by.
John
posted by
John Ringo on August 18, 2004 09:50 PM
« Hide Comments
July 12, 2004
REALITY TV...
...is getting old.
Stupid-ass-lazy-ass Hollywood directors are loving it. Free actors, no writing, ridiculous adulation.
Bring me the adulators! I want to kicketh their ass! They are encouraging this behavior....which sucketh.
Some of the shows are OK, but crap, I can't find ANY decent programming anymore.
I don't want to watch real ER. I don't want to watch real court on TV. I don't want to watch real NYPD. It was interesting enough at first, but the newness is gone. Now, it is bor-ing...
I want to see a well-written script acted out by beautiful people with just the right mixture of suspense and sexual tension. Ahhh, the good 'ol days...
I'm not getting that anymore!
How long can America subscribe to this tripe anyway?
sigh...for now, reruns it is...
Show Comments »
Soooo.... you like soap operas?
posted by
Acidman on July 12, 2004 10:50 PM
Oddly enough, the only TV I miss here in France (where I only get CNN International, BBC, and SkyNews- a UK news service, in English) is the shows on the History Channel, A&E, and TLC. I guess that shows how pitiful network TV has become.
posted by
Jack on July 12, 2004 11:07 PM
Damn -- Has it taken you this long to realize there's not a decent program on the TV? You're slow my friend. I ain't watched TV in I don't know when.
posted by
John on July 13, 2004 01:40 AM
And the networks wonder where their viewers have gone... I'd rather watch American Choppers, Monster Garage, or any of the learning / history / animal / geography / bio channels any day... screw it, just turn on the radio and listen to Sean Hannity from 7pm till 10pm, then watch The Simpsons on Fox, Futurama on the Cartoon Channel, Law & Order reruns and pass out around midnight!
posted by
Madfish Willie on July 13, 2004 02:28 AM
La Femme Nikita was the last show I spent time with. Now it's Fox News, Cable Sports, Maybe an old movie. That's all she wrote! All this crap de jure is mondo depresso!
posted by
wes jackson on July 13, 2004 02:49 AM
I hear you! And since I don't subscribe to cable reality shows are it. But summer is here. Plus I started a trial with Netflix. Finishing up the final season of SATC, watched Donny Darko last night, more on the way...
posted by
lynne on July 13, 2004 05:37 AM
John - I was just holding it in, trying not to bitch unnecessarily. Occupying my time here, at work, with novels or Fox News.
But this week...I just wanted some decent programming...Is that so much to ask?? :-P
And right you are Willie; those are indeed the only options available.
Rob - tell me it ain't so...Are you hooked on soaps?
posted by
Key on July 13, 2004 05:08 PM
I am a recovering soapaholic.
posted by
Acidman on July 13, 2004 05:10 PM
Damn, A-man is a soapy. My world is shattered.
posted by
James Old Guy on July 13, 2004 07:18 PM
"Firefly", the entire series (1 season) is out on DVD.
Best show to come along in ages and they cancel it after 1 season. BUT, I hear htey're making a movie nas we speak.
posted by
Jesse on July 16, 2004 05:46 PM
Well, if you get showtime (or have a good broadband and watch the net tv option on winamp) there is always "Penn and Teller's Bullshit!". They harpoon everything from fortune tellers to environmentalists. Nothing is safe. and for about a half hour show it's not bad at all.
Otherwise its the history channel (Mail Call), AMC, or selected sports.
posted by
Guy S. on July 17, 2004 10:58 PM
« Hide Comments
July 10, 2004
Mini-Key
That is Miss Priss on the right being swallowed by a wave.
Show Comments »
Beautiful water!! Sure looks like fun!
posted by
Michele on July 10, 2004 11:34 PM
HOW FUN! :)
posted by
Lawren on July 11, 2004 03:19 AM
Glad you had a good time. The water looks beautiful, it's amazing isn't it the joy that comes with being out in it?
I have got to take a vacation, I am so envious.
posted by
BeeBee on July 11, 2004 02:11 PM
That's a beautiful pic!!
posted by
Madfish Willie on July 13, 2004 02:29 AM
« Hide Comments
posted by Key on
09:30 PM
|
Comments (4)
July 09, 2004
No Beach Pics
Fogettaboutet, ukay?
You want to see a swimsuit pic, maybe I'll post one from 2 years ago, when I was religiously attending kick boxing class.
I'm presently pinching too many inches to have any desire to share with the class.
In fact, there are precious few pictures of any adults on the one roll of film that I spent this weekend, and none of me. (The kids are the cuties now, so they were the stars of the show.)
But, if you turkeys behave over the weekend, maybe I'll dig up a few pics (out of my bottomless pit of unalbummed snapshots) to share with Blogworld.
So big Bro, you won the bet this time around. (I'd be careful next time you place bets, though. She's probably just setting you up for a fall...)
Show Comments »
There's betting going on and no one let me in on it???
So what do we have to do over the weekend to be graced with your photos? We obviously have no idea how to behave...
posted by
Jack on July 10, 2004 06:30 AM
Bikini pics wouldn't be any fun anyway unless you were wearing the bikini. Now I'd put a quarter in the jukebox to see that.
posted by
Michael on July 10, 2004 04:23 PM
Key, no one would know if you photoshopped your head on say....Pam Anderson's body. ;)
posted by
DeAnna on July 13, 2004 09:50 PM
aaaa
posted by
ahmed on July 25, 2004 02:55 AM
2789 check out the hot blackjack at http://www.blackjack-p.com here you can play blackjack online all you want! So everyone ~SMURKLE~
posted by
blackjack on August 23, 2004 03:19 AM
« Hide Comments
posted by Key on
10:29 PM
|
Comments (5)
Don't Critique the Man to Death...
...just tell the man he's good. That's what he really wants to hear anyway, and in this case it just so happens to be true.
However, he is a tease, so we'll probably never know what happened to this character or even who he is for that matter!
Go read it anyway.
Show Comments »
I am not a tease! Well, not with single women, anyway...
:-P
I fully plan to continue posting this story!!! That's why I posted it in thie first place, to force me to continue writing it.
posted by
Jack on July 10, 2004 06:28 AM
« Hide Comments
July 08, 2004
Do I have to work?
Really...I'm not in the mood.
Yet, the alternative is a helpless, whining existence as I plead incompetence and mooch off of the taxpayers, who would then be bent over the IRS barrel and raped due to my laziness.
In which case, I wonder whom I would vote for? (...Having gone there, I'll just be getting back to work after this brief intermission.)
It's just never fun to come home to life, after having spent six days nestled in white sands, staring at emerald waters. The trip was good for the soul.
Spending the 4th in a small beachfront town was something to behold. I thought the day would be celebrated the typical way...lounging, eating, 30 minutes of professional fireworks.
I thought wrong.
The parade started at 8am Saturday. Tourists and locals alike blended together in a red, white and blue confettied mess along the street in trucks, golf carts, bicycles, and scooters, all decked out in various patriotic themes. The crowd alongside the street was showered with candy, mardi gras beads, frisbees, and silly string.
My niece (age 10), who wanted to be in the parade, jumped on the back of a scooter with a young man (also 10) whom she had met the day before at the beach. The parade must have been a bonding experience for them, because for the next 48 hours, they were continually inventing reasons to run into one another. Ahhhh, the girl shoulda been mine. (Although, I must say, even I didn't start that young. Incidentally, when I told her as much, she shrugged as she replied, "What can I say? Hormones.")
Meanwhile, Miss Priss thumbed her nose at the idea of being in the parade, and rather decided she'd loot it up street side. She ended up with about five pounds of candy and thirteen strands of beads.
There were no professional fireworks, as such a display is prohibited in this particular county. So, rather than fight the crowd to drive in to Destin for a typical show, we took a blanket to the beach and settled in to watch the drunken spectacle of amateurs, who were already making a great deal of noise prior to sundown.
It was absolutely amazing. Unlike a professional show, this one went on and on for hours. Fireworks as far as the eye could see in either direction. The biggest show was a couple of hundred yards down on the left, but there were plenty going up directly overhead.
Admittedly, it probably wasn't the safest way to go, and I realized as much as I picked a smoking piece of debris out of my hair, but it was too breathtaking to retreat.
So we sat with our new beach friends, whom we'd met courtesy of my niece, and we watched the kids write their names with those dangerous sparklers that we shouldn't have let them hold, but did anyway. And we watched the sky light up as animated individuals celebrated the 4th with heart-swelling pride and drunkenness.
I hope everyone had an excellent holiday...and I hope you all were duly entertained by the gentlemen raiding my closets while I was out.
Show Comments »
Hey, my Sis is back!
Danah and I have a bet going...I bet you wouldn't post any bikini pics when you got home.
Don't cost me $20 now Sis... ;-)
- D
posted by
Donnie on July 9, 2004 09:04 PM
You can go ahead and collect on that one, Hon. ; )
posted by
Key on July 9, 2004 09:52 PM
Heh, I am an impeccable judge of character ;-)
I'm gonna collect my $20 and go get me a couple of 6-packs of Newcastle Brown Ale.
Then I'll blog some...
- D
posted by
Donnie on July 10, 2004 05:07 PM
« Hide Comments
posted by Key on
07:14 PM
|
Comments (3)
Ok, Everyone Out...
I'm back. Thank you so much fellas for keeping the place dusted.
Sam, honey, where would I be without you? Jack, you were wooonderful. Velociman, you left me wanting more of your wickedness.
Rob - sigh - naughty as usual...and about as tame as Yosemite Sam with a stick of dynamite up his ass. Now. Why don't you get that smokin' ass back here and clean up the mess you've made?!
Geoffrey, Will...I would have gladly left you guys a set of keys had I known such creatures of your fine caliber held even a passing interest in my humble abode. (Next time, the chore shall be yours.)
Details of the trip tomorrow, along with the reasons I'm too mentally scattered to be any good to anyone tonight!
(...and Rob, I'm not falling into your trap. I won't be asking what it is that I owe you...)
Show Comments »
WELCOME BACK!! Hope you're feeling rested and refreshed! :)
posted by
pam on July 8, 2004 01:14 AM
Welcome back, darlin.' What "trap" are you talking about? ME? Attempt to trap YOU??? No way!!!
That's just an innocent piece of VERY GOOD cheese on that metal tab over there. Go ahead and take a bite.
posted by
Acidman on July 8, 2004 02:00 AM
Well, what *do* you wear to the beach? We want PHOTOS!!!!
posted by
Jack on July 8, 2004 05:31 AM
Dear Key:
Aww; shucks! (he says, in his best Ronald Reagan voice) -- thanks for the compliment! Hope you and yours had a GREAT time!
Best,
-Will
posted by
Will on July 8, 2004 05:22 PM
Welcome back baby! Did ya have fun?
posted by
Sam on July 8, 2004 05:33 PM
Thanks guys...yes, it was much needed. I work for the day that I can afford a beach-house.
No bikini this year, Jack. Sorry, still have a few pounds to go before I'll be dusting off the 'ol VS black bikini.
This year I went for the sporty look...Nike bright blue tankini. (Aging is so wrong. Can't somebody grant me immunity? Please?)
posted by
Key on July 8, 2004 07:20 PM
Welcome back, Key!
And, y'know...age is a case of mind over matter. So, if you don't mind, it doesn't matter!!!
Meanwhile, post pics, kiddo. We dirty old men need some fresh inspiration. *grin*
Jim
Sloop New Dawn
Galveston, TX
posted by
Jim on July 9, 2004 03:42 PM
I am glad I met you in Helen Georgia. Acidman told me, that you were a pretty lady, he was correct, you are very very pretty. Take care and see you next year, Catfish, AKA, Joe Goodman in Savannah Georgia.
posted by
Catfish on October 18, 2004 01:16 PM
« Hide Comments
posted by Key on
12:44 AM
|
Comments (8)
»
The Ultimate Attorney Index - Find An Attorney Here! links with:
Georgia Tax Attorneys
»
The Ultimate Attorney Index - Find An Attorney Here! links with:
Georgia Tax Attorneys
July 07, 2004
Let's give Key some comments to welcome her back!
I've been posting up a storm over at my weblog, so I thought I'd put something up here so Key wouldn't think her place had been neglected in her absence.
I have a romantic streak a mile wide, something that I suspect Key and I share in common (although I'm not sure, because I haven't had the opportunity to meet her in person and "read" her), but neither of us posts much related to that part of ourselves. I don't write much about it because it's too close to home, too close to the source of a lot of pain and unhappiness in my life. Others, such as Rob (aka Acidman) let it all hang out, regardless of the consequences... I know that Rob was instrumental in Key starting to blog, among many others such as Donnie and Jim, and Rob definitely had an indirect influence upon my decision to write a public blog.
Back to my original topic, though. Is there any subject that's too close to home for you other people out there in blogworld that you don't write about? Leave comments, because inquiring minds want to know!!!!
(guest posted by Jack)
Show Comments »
..hell, Jack.. I've posted photos of my scars.. photos of my house... talked about my librarian fetish.. went on about my love of Scotch... so, as a stay-away subject, I'd have to say religion... or, the lack thereof.. otherwise, I'll blether on about anything...
posted by
Eric on July 7, 2004 07:29 PM
I draw the line at blogging about... hell, where did I draw that line? I can't find it now, so just forget about this comment.
posted by
Acidman on July 7, 2004 09:10 PM
Hell, get enough beer, or any other adult beverage, inside me, and I couldn't draw a straight line if I tried, much less self censor my blogging topics.
posted by
Guy S. on July 7, 2004 11:12 PM
Lines?
Aren't those the things we ran our crayons across back in kindergarten?
Okay, seriously. There are things I tend not to go into. But not out of some sort of misguided shame or such. Just cause they've not been necessary to use to say what I can say otherwise.
Besides, I'm told that being a mysterious guy who lives on a boat helps the odds with the chicks.
Yeah, right, that's the ticket!
Jim
Sloop New Dawn
Galveston, TX
posted by
Jim on July 8, 2004 03:45 AM
« Hide Comments
If we've lost our Key, does this mean we're locked out?
Our Key said she'd go to the ocean
Our Key said she'd be by the sea
Our Key said she'd go to the ocean
Oh where, oh where is our Key
Bring back, bring back, bring back our missing Key, our Key
Bring back, bring back, oh bring back our dear missing Key
Bring back, bring back, bring back our missing Key, our Key
Bring back, bring back, oh bring back our dear missing Key
(Damn, I can't carry a tune in a bucket... even one as simple as "My bonnie lies over the ocean".)
Key said she'd prescribed a six-day beach vacation for herself. Well, it's been six days, Key, where are you? We want you back (with pictures, I'd like to see the answer to what a blogger wears to the beach!!!).
I'm getting too tempted to cat-bomb Rob here... it's either that or post something political, but I don't want to mess up Key's house more than it's already been by her other "guests". Are there any suggestions for posts I can put here so Key can have some nice numbers on SiteMeter to come back to?
(posted by guest blogger Jack)
posted by Jack on
06:55 AM
|
Crazy Stuff
July 06, 2004
how rude!
I've never been treated so badly in the great state of Georgia in my life. People around Commerce get all froggy and bug-eyed if you go running down the street clad in a chain-draped leather outfit with crotchless panties. They get REALLY upset if you have a bunch of irate Jehovah's Witnesses chasing after you and speaking in tongues. Police get involved quickly. They wanted to arrest me.
If that sort of situation ever arises in YOUR life, you know... where you're running down the street in a chain-draped leather outfit and crotchless panties, with Jehova's Witnesses and COPS chasing after you, DO NOT do what I did. Jumping a fence, running through a back yard and snatching a sheet off a clothesline for a disguise WAS NOT a good idea.
I wrapped myself in the sheet and the Jehova's Witnesses left me alone, mistaking me for either Moses or Jesus. But the cops never quit coming, and they were joined by a whole lot of black people yelling something about the KKK. I realized that I was going to be KILLED, then ARRESTED.
I ditched the sheet and the leather outfit. I am crouched nekkid in the hollow of an oak tree now, feeling a lot like Gollum from Lord of the Rings. I want "my precious" ass out of here.
Key, I'm not coming back here. You people are crazier than I am.
(Posted by Acidman)
Show Comments »
posted by Key on
01:15 AM
|
Comments (1)
»
Gut Rumbles links with:
i promised
July 05, 2004
What's the proper beach wear for a blogger?
Jack here. I'm yet another guest poster here while Key is off recharging at the beach. Her other "friends" have trashed the place, but I'm not exactly sure I should be the one to clean up. I also have never met Key in person, but as Sam said below, she is my friend. I worry that she doesn't recognize what a good writer she is, but that's a topic for another post.
I think Key wanted me to put up something intelligent so that she wouldn't lose readers in her absence, but I don't want to drive her audience away with pedantic lecturing on how the politics spouted from both extreme wings is taking on the stench of three day old fish. I thought about putting up a photo of my cat to irritate Rob, but since Key did invite him over, I shouldn't be rude to him...
So... what to post about.... hmmmm...
Well, the mention of the beach and Key in the same breath does bring one question to mind (for a healthy, single male, anyway...): At the beach, does Key wear a bikini, a tank swimsuit, or a tankini? Inquiring minds want to know!!!! Unfortunately for us single guys, she's married, but based on her photo, I hope it's a bikini!!!!
Maybe we should have a poll for what she should wear. What's your vote?
Show Comments »
I vote for the bikini...and I'm married.
posted by
Jesse on July 6, 2004 12:34 AM
In the meantime, Jack, why don't you post a picture of you at the beach...
posted by
CSW on July 6, 2004 12:56 PM
« Hide Comments
posted by Jack on
07:03 PM
|
Comments (2)
|
Crazy Stuff
»
Random Fate links with:
Guest posting
July 04, 2004
What Are Friends For?
Well, apparently I’m late. I’m not exactly sure what I missed, but this place is trashed. Judging by the notice on the front door, it looks like the cops have been here.
I picked up a bunch of Jehovah's Witness literature which was scattered all over the front yard, but I couldn’t get the panties out of the tree…too high. WTH is going on around here?
What are friends for?
I haven’t known Key since she started this blog. Never seen her…never spoken to her…nothing but electronic communications…yet she is my friend. These are amazing times we live in.
Wait a minute…there’s a mob of folks, all wearing sandals, gathering around the mailbox…Man, I don’t even wanna know what’s in there.
I’m outta here until things calm down a bit. I’ll check back after dark.
Posted by Sam
Show Comments »
she didn't tell me not to
Maybe I shouldn't have answered the door when the bell rang. Maybe I SHOULD have answered the door but NOT done it wearing that leather outfit with the chains down the front and the crotchless panties.
Key, you have Jehovah's Witness literature scattered all over your yard now and a bunch of people running down the road screaming. I hear sirens in the distance and I see blue lights flashing on the horizon. One of those religious pricks must have had a cell phone.
I believe that I should be going now...
Show Comments »
posted by Key on
01:14 PM
|
Comments (0)
the keys to key's
Yeah, she let me in again. Key, be sure to thoroughly wash and disinfect your feminine undergarments when you get back home. Velociman has been here and he made a real mess out of some of your bras and panties, that perverted bastard. "Mr. Pink" is missing, too.
Let's see... what do I like about Key Monroe? She's tall and blonde, but not a dingbat. She has a nice rack is well-porportioned. She is articulate, smart-mouthed, stubborn and she has a nice rack ain't afraid of people such as me and Velociman. She dances with danger.
I admire those qualities in a woman. I ALSO admire this leather outfit with the chains down the front and the crotchless panties. Velociman must have missed that when he was rummaging through the bedroom, or he woulda worn the thing home. Shoulda checked the back of the closet, pervert!
Hey! It fits ME!
(Guest-blogged by Acidman)
Show Comments »
A-man, ever since you went to Key West and lost your shorts, you've been, uh, shall we say...less inhibited...
posted by
Joan of Argghh! on July 4, 2004 03:27 PM
« Hide Comments
posted by Key on
12:56 PM
|
Comments (1)
Key is a Fool!
for giving me the uh, keys. Perhaps fool is too strong a word. Overly trusting? Yes. Betrayed by her own sense of decency? Yes, yes.
I promise not to trash the Keyhole while here, in contravention of my normal activities when given the password to another's site. In fact, I'm going to prevent any mayhem from Acidman by scooping up all the dainty underthings and securing them where that twisted fiend can't find them. Right. Here. Yes.
This place smells nice. Much nicer than the Velocihovel, which reeks of mansweat, asparagus, and old chicken blood.
So: what do we want to talk about? How about a nice game of Ask Velociman? You can ask me questions pertaining to your most intimate, painful issues, and I can respond!
Trust me: I have a degree in Behavioral Science, and have counseled Very Important People. Nixon? He was going to the mattresses with Tommy guns when I suggested he could have more fun walking the beach at San Clemente in black socks and wingtips. Boris Yeltsin was in a vodka fugue until I suggested he scale a tank whilst performing a primitive version of the Macarena. I gots chops. Just ask me.
Posted by Guest Booger Velociman
Show Comments »
She's obviously not dumb enough to give me the keys. Not many people are anymore.
posted by
Geoffrey on July 4, 2004 04:37 AM
Well, Geoffrey, do you want the keys? I am in control here. Somewhat.
posted by
Velociman on July 4, 2004 04:40 AM
I DEFINITELY believe that Geoffrey would fit right into this place. But he can't wear the leather outfit with the crotchless panties. That's MINE until Key returns.
posted by
Acidman on July 4, 2004 08:53 PM
« Hide Comments
posted by Key on
01:58 AM
|
Comments (3)
HammerHead
