Key Issues

how rude!

I've never been treated so badly in the great state of Georgia in my life. People around Commerce get all froggy and bug-eyed if you go running down the street clad in a chain-draped leather outfit with crotchless panties. They get REALLY upset if you have a bunch of irate Jehovah's Witnesses chasing after you and speaking in tongues. Police get involved quickly. They wanted to arrest me.

If that sort of situation ever arises in YOUR life, you know... where you're running down the street in a chain-draped leather outfit and crotchless panties, with Jehova's Witnesses and COPS chasing after you, DO NOT do what I did. Jumping a fence, running through a back yard and snatching a sheet off a clothesline for a disguise WAS NOT a good idea.

I wrapped myself in the sheet and the Jehova's Witnesses left me alone, mistaking me for either Moses or Jesus. But the cops never quit coming, and they were joined by a whole lot of black people yelling something about the KKK. I realized that I was going to be KILLED, then ARRESTED.

I ditched the sheet and the leather outfit. I am crouched nekkid in the hollow of an oak tree now, feeling a lot like Gollum from Lord of the Rings. I want "my precious" ass out of here.

Key, I'm not coming back here. You people are crazier than I am.

(Posted by Acidman)