Observations by Key Monroe~~Home of Right Opinions, Cynical Viewpoints, and TMI in Hefty Doses
|E-mail: keymonroe [at] alltel [dot] net

July 27, 2007

Obsessive America

Trends? Trends you say? No, obsessions.

Fifteen years ago
Diet/Exercise: Get a calorie counter. Stay under 1200/day, and you don't even have to exercise!
Parties: Tupperware!
Real Estate: Oh, it's cute! It's cute! Buy it, and paint it hunter green.
Recreation: It's at the beach. The beach is where it's at. Anybody who's anybody is headed for the panhandle. And the really cool people are getting their picture taken under water...in scuba gear, duh!

Five years ago
Diet/Exercise: Oh. My. Gawd. Did you just consume a carb?! Gimme a mile right now. On your neighborhood street, and you'd better look darn cute doing it. (Oh...and when driving, do your kegels at stoplights!!)
Parties: Surprise! (as in...bedroom toys, openly purchased in front of all your friends!!)
Real Estate: You. can't. go. wrong. Buy anything. Buy it all! Bwahahaha! I'll own the town!
Recreation: It's at the lake. If you don't have a lakehouse, you are a total loser, and you totally cannot hang with me. Cocktail Cove or bust.

Diet/Exercise: So...what artificial protein source are you using? Yeah, I do the shakes. The water tastes like it could power a car, but it's great for long hikes.
Parties: Scrapbooking!, much to the chagrin of the Pampered Candle people.
Real Estate: Yeah, you know? I really don't know what the hell is going on. Some great buys, but....dude...the manic appreciation didn't last forever. What's up with that? How 'bout we just buy stock in sage green paint and safari furniture, and call it a day?
Recreation: Are you still hanging at Cocktail Cove? Loser. Mountain lakes are where it's at. Put on your LLBean gear, and get thee hiking. Bring your dogs...not naked! Put a bandanna on the creature, for gawd's sake!

Now. Play how you like, paint how you like...But would anybody actually like to BUY some real estate, or is all of metro Atl content to shop indefinitely? Heh. See why I am such a smashing success? I am incredibly knowledgeable in my field AND I am a warm, fuzzy people person. (Okay, okay...well at least one of those statements is true...!)

Fight the obsession, people. Don't sell Monday. Peace out.

posted by Key on 09:12 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)