May 31, 2005
Better Late Than Never!
I may be two chapters behind in my linkage, but HEY!, I HAVE been reading. If you are behind, catch up now, before the Velocimaster gets ahold of it:
Chapter Five authored by Eric
Chapter Six authored by Pammy
(Don't listen to him Pammy; he can do. He's just publishing the handicap, as any savvy marketing guru would do.)
Show Comments »
I've been known to hedge my bets. I like being the Velocigod of diminished expectations.
posted by
Velociman on May 31, 2005 10:45 PM
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posted by Key on
07:18 PM
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Comments (1)
Thank You Wonderful People
Dear Blogworld,
You just cannot know how much your support means to me re the post on my foster son. I have been struggling with guilt over this decision-in-the-making for months.
While I haven't questioned the "rightness" of it, it has still weighed heavy. So I appreciate the support and linkage. Just when I thought I was sick of blogworld, I find it giving me warm fuzzies.
And to those of you who sent over your lovely readers, thank you. I now have new blood to research, and just in time, as my roll already needs a makeover.
Love Always,
Key Monroe
Troublemaker, Brat (as Jack so often calls me), and totally undeserving of your kind words, though I soak them up like a sponge. (File that under typical blogger profile.)
Show Comments »
God damn it woman, you have to make an announcement like this when I go to Prague for a weekend and am completely out of contact...
Bloody Hell...
I can relate to some extent.
I will never have children of my own, and I don't even want to imagine what it was like to say goodbye to a boy you made sure was going to a good home.
Damn it, woman, you made me cry.
That didn't even happen during my divorce.
That doesn't EVER happen to me.
Next time, make sure I am AROUND for this kind of thing...
posted by
Jack on May 31, 2005 07:20 PM
Aaw, thanks honey. I so appreciate. And yes, I edited this post just for you. ;)
posted by
Key on May 31, 2005 07:23 PM
And that is the downside of a link from me. You get my readers.
posted by
Velociman on May 31, 2005 07:47 PM
Ick. Get some lysol.
posted by
og on May 31, 2005 08:08 PM
Yeah. I link to you and you get my "mindless minions." Can you handle it?
posted by
Acidman on May 31, 2005 08:14 PM
This time.
And I believe that individuality is found through sincerity. There are a lot of piss matches in blogworld, but we do have our moments.
(Btw, while I may have repeated it, I didn't coin the phrase "mindless minion." It's good, but I'd hate to accept credit. Besides, I happen to read you... :D)
posted by
Key on May 31, 2005 09:15 PM
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posted by Key on
07:08 PM
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Comments (6)
May 30, 2005
Happy Memorial Day
I must link my girl, who pays tribute to our song. If nothing else unites us, the chills when this song is in the air should.
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SWEET!!!
posted by
Sam on May 30, 2005 10:13 PM
Thank you, dear. My despair is that there are far too many of us who feel nothing, much less chills, when the Anthem plays...
posted by
kelley on May 31, 2005 01:20 PM
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posted by Key on
10:00 PM
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Comments (2)
May 29, 2005
I've Been Detached
Yes, I have been putting things up just to take up space, as I have been of no mind to write.
It has not been work. It has not been blogworld drama.
I have been battling a very difficult decision, one which I only shared with a handful of people.
A year ago this week, I took a foster child into my home.
He was three (almost four) at the time, malnourished, bald (due to lice), and was not potty-trained. He was scared, and he had little to no social skills. He had never been to a ballpark, had never heard of Santa.
It has been a busy year.
We've conquered the potty monster, introduced a boy to an ocean, had a birthday party, played soccer, developed a studly spike hairstyle, had a bountiful Christmas, learned our ABC's, made cupcakes and cookies, and played tee-ball.
He has learned "please," "thank you," and at bedtime, we have shared many an "I love you." And I quickly became "mom."
We faced his natural parents in a court scheduled panel review in the spring, and it became obvious to me that they were no longer a viable option for placement. After nine months, they had not had one negative drug screen. Not one.
And so, I stressed.
He thought he was going back "home." But I knew better, and I wanted to be there for him to pick up the pieces. And the caseworkers wanted to know what had been plaguing me for weeks: if parental rights were to be terminated, would we adopt him?
Problem: This child is not perfect. What child is? He is passive-aggressive. He doesn't listen. He resists schedules and routines. He has nervous habits. The list goes on, but it pretty much goes with the territory. Additional work, love, stress...that's part of the deal.
I wanted a son. I would make the effort. I envisioned a grown man -with character, strength, and humility- calling me mom, opening doors for me, and sharing stories of his success. And of course, supplying me with a multitude of grandchildren to sugar up. ....But this isn't about me.
My husband did not bond with this child. He just didn't. I think he's always wanted a son too, but not this one. They just didn't click. And so I knew that he could not be the father that the boy deserves. And so...
I had to make the call. Then, voice mails unreturned, I walked in to the DFCS office. I announced to the appropriate people that not only would we not be able to adopt this child to whom I have been mom for a year, but we would not be adopting at all. Ever. "We are retiring," I told the head of placement.
She shook her head and was obviously disappointed. "I had heard, but I wasn't going to believe it," she said, "not until I heard it from you."
It has been three years, and we have had six long term placements, and while I know that I could be passionate about children forever, my family is burnt out, and I must respect that.
But I refused to let this child be shuffled back into the system. I know that we are not the only foster parents who have burned out. I also know that there are many, many less than ideal homes out there.
And so...I made a pest of myself. I know that there are classes every year in which new families are approved for foster/adoption. I also know that the psyche coming out of this class is optimal for giving, loving, bonding.
So I demanded that he go to an adoptive couple out of that class. Of course, no one had to listen to me, nor did they want to, as the paperwork on these folks takes months to approve. So other suggestions were made...
"How about placing him with these two ladies? They would like another boy."
And I thought: Yeah, I'll bet the freaks would. I know the mother/daughter pair. They are strange. And they already have two boys, and it actually seems to be working, but one of the boys is an absolute hellion. This I thought, but I said, "No, he needs to be the focus for a while with no sibling rivalry, and he needs a father figure."
The next suggestion was in favor of a single lady who never married, but wanted kids, and already had one placed with her.
Being certain that she already had as much as she could handle, I again reinforced the need for a father figure and inquired about couples having just finished the course.
Sigh. That involved work on the part of the understaffed DFCS office. I understood. I sympathize. But dammit, this is important.
"Well, there is this one couple. Your age, no kids. They have almost all of their paperwork turned in..."
I made her head spin. "Let's call. Now!" We called from her office, and I invited the couple to my foster son's tee-ball game.
They were excited. They came. They took one look at those big, blue eyes of his and fell in love instantly.
And as my heart began to leave my body, I was thrilled that I had saved him from the system. They would adopt, and he would have a mom and dad forever.
And I would have a few weeks to get used to the idea while the couple's paperwork was rushed through the approval process.
Those few weeks and the past few weeks have been one and the same. I couldn't really begin to deal, so being a procrastinater, I simply put off the inevitable.
The call came Friday. "Pack him up; he's ready to go!" And I swallowed hard and mustered a "Wonderful...how's seven?"
And so we came home and grilled burgers and did bath-time. I taped boxes and began filling them, and tried not to cry... not until he left. I couldn't let him see me upset.
He was going to a sleepover with the nice couple he had spent the last two Saturdays with! They were going to the lake!
We had discussed moving, new mommy and daddy, and did he think it would be nice to live with this new couple? He did.
He didn't get it. I looked into his inquiring blue eyes as he watched his possessions pile into a box and I knew... he just didn't understand.
And so they came. And we carried out his things. And I hugged him ten extra times, and told him I loved him over and over, even following him as he was put into the carseat to tell him one more time.
Only then did I let the tears fall.
I made the right decision. I know this. I will see him again. They will need a babysitter, and such precious gems are hard to come by.
But this weekend has been rough. ...It's a "mommy" thing.
Show Comments »
You have done a good job with him and I see that it hurts you in many ways about the boy. It is very hard to be a father to a child, that is not yours and I understand that. You made the right choice, I think and hope you did. It is not your problem. I know you are a very caring person and I love you for that. Take care and don't worry about it, Cat
posted by
catfish on May 29, 2005 11:00 PM
Oh, dear God in heaven.
I honestly have no idea what you must be going through; however, reading your words I cannot help, but feel some of what you are experiencing.
You did the right thing. Where I come from it is often said: You done good, honey, you done real good.
Bless you.
posted by
Christina on May 29, 2005 11:56 PM
Key -
The love and care you have given that little boy from the moment he came into your home will stay with him throughout his life. YOU gave him a chance. YOU introduced him to love. YOU made sure that a special couple could give him the life he deserved. YOU are a wonderful mother...and I admire you so very very much. I will keep you and that little guy in my prayers.
Always,
Dana
posted by
Dana on May 29, 2005 11:57 PM
Key - What catfish, Christina, and Dana said. You done real good girl. Years ago I had one experience with a foster daughter and I still remember how it tore me apart when we had to put her back into "the system". You're in my prayers, young lady. All the best, Terry Reynolds
posted by
Terry Reynolds on May 30, 2005 07:02 AM
That had to be a hard thing to do, but you're right, it was the right thing. I'm impressed that you went the extra mile to make sure the boy was placed in the right home. You'll miss him, but you'll be comforted to know he is happy and well loved.
posted by
Dash on May 30, 2005 10:05 AM
Key...you are a 10.
posted by
Sam on May 30, 2005 11:26 AM
Oh Key...that's gotta be the hardest thing in the world. Still, by anyone's standards you really did a fantastic job of helping the boy along. You should be proud of yourself and what you've done. God bless you and people like you, Key. People who do the stuff you do make the world a better place. You rock.
posted by
zonker on May 30, 2005 12:46 PM
I salute you, Key, and this is a difficult thing for you, I can understand. I wish I were half the person you are. Bless you.
posted by
Velociman on May 30, 2005 01:38 PM
You have a heart bigger than almost anyone I've ever met. And in a little spot in that child's heart, you will ALWAYS be "Mommy".
Sending you a huge hug. Wish I could deliver it in person.
posted by
Omnibus Driver on May 30, 2005 03:29 PM
God has blessed this child with his very own guardian angel. What might have happened to him without your perseverence?
God Bless.
posted by
jmflynny on May 30, 2005 04:35 PM
Key:
It takes a strong women to do what you have done for this child. God Bless You!
Barbie
posted by
Barbie on May 30, 2005 08:25 PM
Key -
I don't comment here but I felt I had to say something after reading this post, which brought tears to my eyes. You did make the right decision for him and, just by reading this post, I know how hard it must have been for you. {{{hugs}}} You've done a wonderful thing for him.
posted by
Kate on May 30, 2005 10:30 PM
(((((((Key))))))))))
Thank you for careing and going the extra mile for that child.
posted by
Maeve on May 30, 2005 11:01 PM
You are one in a million.
posted by
Denny on May 30, 2005 11:28 PM
No one can really change the whole world. But you've changed three lives--for the better. It's amazing how the things that are the best seem to be the most painful.
The world could do with a lot more people like you.
posted by
Samira on May 30, 2005 11:47 PM
Key, thank you and all the other selfless foster parents, especially that special couple who raised my sons for their first five years and literally saved their lives. Ten years ago, we were the adoptive parents whose papers were rushed through the channels with strings pulled by the social workers so we could adopt twin five year old boys. The foster parents were being pushed by the system to adopt but they were almost 60 and knew their home wasn't right for two active little boys. My sons grieved the loss of their foster parents, but we visited, called and wrote and will never forget them. God bless you.
posted by
Earth Girl on May 31, 2005 12:59 AM
i came via neanderpundit. i've never been here before. much respect key. took a lot of strength.
posted by
mlah on May 31, 2005 01:49 AM
A broken child is a terrible thing. The proper glue to reassemble them is an esoteric thing, at best, to assemble. You, staying in his life, even on the periphery, are wise. As was your decision to not break your husbands balls over his stance.
You are a wise, and special woman.
God Bless you. May He mend your broken heart.
posted by
Bane on May 31, 2005 02:46 AM
*hugs* I feel your pain. My prayers are with you and the kiddo.
posted by
Chablis on May 31, 2005 07:40 AM
Dear Key........from another view point......I had what was a less than desirable childhood by anyones standards......so..........Had there been a person with the quality of character and the capacity to love that you posess,i'm very sure my life would of been much better and I would not have the issues I carry daily. May God bless you more than He already has.
posted by
Arrathorn on May 31, 2005 08:38 AM
Wow. My heart goes out to you, Key.
posted by
Jim - PRS on May 31, 2005 03:52 PM
sweet 'n real
posted by
neal on June 1, 2005 02:50 AM
I *applaud* your wonderful success with this boy! We went through a situation a few years ago with a boy of 12, and it nearly exploded our family into a million pieces. I had to be the *bad-guy* and say ENOUGH but, luckily, our hard work did make a difference in the long run and he has turned out to be a great kid -- he joined the Army, took some initiative to detach from his crazy biological family, married a sweet girl, and is a success after all.
Your hard work and dedication to the care of this child will come back to you, over and over again! You shall find that your *angelic* giving will be repaid.
Thank you for sharing your story!
posted by
Kitty on June 1, 2005 12:33 PM
Words fail me.
Key, you are one special lady.
posted by
Elisson on June 2, 2005 10:04 AM
God Bless you for your obvious unselfishness in your care of this boy. You made some hard choices, and made them out of love.
posted by
Scott on June 3, 2005 04:03 PM
I was referred by Neanderpundit. You absolutely did the right thing, and I hope that is a continuing comfort to you as you watch the boy grow up. My greatest respects for your consideration and rejection of sanctimoniousness for your husband.
posted by
Morenuancedthanyou on June 4, 2005 03:14 PM
Oh, Key.....
What a difficult decision! I believe, as you do, that you made the right one. And I am sooooo glad the agency kept you in the loop for placement with adoptive parents. He will love you for the rest of his live- and so will his new parents.
God Bless.....
posted by
AFSister on June 9, 2005 09:54 AM
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posted by Key on
08:44 PM
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Comments (27)
»
Bad Bad Juju links with:
YABU DOES HAVE A HEART AND SOUL
»
Velociworld links with:
BETTER FOLK THAN I
»
Neanderpundit links with:
Og's law in action
»
Gut Rumbles links with:
nothing pains me worse
May 27, 2005
I'm On It
I'm tagged!
I'm on it Bro...tomorrow, promise. As I am currently out of town and using a pc which isn't mine, I am out of borrowed time.
But I'm good for it. Scoutish honor.
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posted by Key on
12:43 AM
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Comments (0)
I Thought I Lived In Bumfuk
I don't.
My cousin does. It shall be named Douglas, and it sits in the midst of a triangulation of three towns, Jesup, Waycross, and Mystic, which shall hereinafter be referred to as the bumfuk triangle. This is an area which - GASP! - has NO Cingular coverage.
But wait! Let there be cable modem! Yar, baby. Actually better than my crappy diap-up. Ergo, I was forced to rerecognize my blog as a source of entertainment.
And yet, I need more time to do ya peeps right, so more when I land myself back into civilization.
Stay tuned.
Show Comments »
I shall assume the triple posting is evocative of the Triangle, and applaud your Elkian sense of trigonometric humor. Having said that, my mother lived in Douglas from approximately 1931-1933, one step in her Seven Stages of Hell World Tour of Southeast Georgia during the Depression. Layer in Baxley, Manor, and Waycross and you get the picture. The bleak, desolate picture.
posted by
Velociman on May 27, 2005 06:33 AM
Oops... Thanks for heads up. Slight glitch there. Clearly, I have forgotton how to post. ;)
posted by
Key on May 27, 2005 09:23 AM
How could you leave Valdosta out of that mix?
posted by
Acidman on May 27, 2005 10:48 PM
Valdosta certainly sucks, but my Mama never lived there. My sister did, though, and I made that trip down highway 84 many times.
posted by
Velociman on May 28, 2005 12:13 AM
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posted by Key on
12:37 AM
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Comments (4)
May 23, 2005
Like Black Cotton Candy Leftover From Easter
She is beautiful, isn't she?
Isn't it amazing how cats can plant their furry asses in the most retarded places, and then have the nerve to stare at any onlooker as though they are the crudest form of life?
It's like they're freebasing on arrogance. This one in particular. I am hopelessly drawn to her.
Show Comments »
Looks like my cat, but he's a "he", not a "her", or was before a visit to the vet long ago...
posted by
Jack on May 23, 2005 04:56 PM
Mmmmmmmmmmm....scrambled eggs and with a side of kitten.
posted by
zonker on May 24, 2005 02:26 PM
I have one that sleeps in my bathroom sink. Kinda makes it hard to shave in the morning if he doesn't want to get up. That water on the head usually does the trick, though.
posted by
Dash on May 24, 2005 04:56 PM
Why is it that the exact same behavior that makes me hate cats is considered to be "cute" by cat-lovers? I think it has a lot to do with the picture below this one.
Isn't that little boy "cute?"
posted by
Acidman on May 24, 2005 09:03 PM
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posted by Key on
02:53 PM
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Comments (4)
Following Dreams With Wild Abandon
Oh, to be three.
Brat. The rules will get him one day. Story here.
(I know it's old now, but I gotta love the pic. Here's another link courtesy Cat.)
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Brat is correct. But why is the world did that mom just haul her kid out of there and go straight home? I've seen that happen at my local library where a kid refused to remain seated while mom and sis grabbed a video. When sis wanted to go home, mom said, "I know honey, but I'm looking for a video" Just leave the books there, go home. If Dad says anything, say "We were going to get one, but Junior decided to misbehave, so we had to come home". Put the blame where it belongs.
posted by
Nancy on May 25, 2005 06:30 PM
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posted by Key on
01:44 PM
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Comments (1)
May 19, 2005
Disgruntled
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Nice. Looks almost like me at work, except for the part where I am planting an accelerant in the garage of my most distasteful coworker.
posted by
Velociman on May 19, 2005 09:34 PM
Why is that dude picking his underwear out of his ass? Or is that why he's feeling disgruntled?
posted by
zonker on May 21, 2005 01:50 AM
His hands are in his pockets!
(...alright, I admit it, I was too lazy to draw hands.)
posted by
Key on May 21, 2005 10:15 AM
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posted by Key on
05:40 PM
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Comments (3)
Cabbage Patch Baby
The Real Apple of my Eye...
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I would also comment here, but I've been told that certain peoples, oft of the Yanomami tribes, actually find their own offspring fetching. I think that theory bullshit, of course. Having said that, she is a sweet lass.
posted by
Velociman on May 20, 2005 01:24 AM
Kid looks like he's workin on a pants-load. Maybe that's why the guy above him is disgruntled, the root word being 'grunt'.
If it's a girl...sorry. They all look alike.
posted by
Bane on May 22, 2005 04:59 PM
That is my baby...GIRL. ; )
She is now nine. Still my baby, of course.
posted by
Key on May 22, 2005 10:34 PM
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posted by Key on
05:34 PM
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Comments (3)
Apple of My Eye
Update: No takers? I thought for sure someone would want a tattoo of this on their ass.
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Tattoo on the ass, eh? I guess it's fairly obvious where the eye would be positioned. And wouldn't that be a scary thing for a guy to see during, uhhhh...well, you get the idea.
Okay, I'm a sick freak.
posted by
Sloan on May 26, 2005 04:36 PM
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posted by Key on
05:03 PM
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Comments (1)
Quiz, in Lieu of Writing
I am so misunderstood.
What Is Your Animal Personality?
brought to you by Quizilla
(Found it through Acidman. Oddly enough, Shrek and Acidman got the same results...)
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A WOLF? My ass...
posted by
Acidman on May 19, 2005 06:01 PM
Hey, that's what it said.
Although, Shrek disagreed with one of my answers. He said I don't come home and take it easy; he says I come home and get on the phone. (But THAT'S only for my girl Kel. I'm not a big phone fan.)
Nonetheless, he changed it, and that resulted in the tag of the intelligent, yet ever-present crow.
So maybe I'm a black, flying, conflicted wolf.
posted by
Key on May 19, 2005 07:44 PM
You are not misunderstood, my dear. You are misunderestimated. And that comes from the Master of that particular domain.
posted by
Velociman on May 20, 2005 12:56 AM
Interesting, I came out as a Badger. Grumpy and hard working and not as bad as people think.
posted by
Jesse on May 20, 2005 09:53 AM
I got Badger, too, and I'm a notoriously lazy bastard.
They got the grumpy right.
posted by
Bane on May 22, 2005 04:56 PM
I'm a horse; go figure! :)
posted by
pam on May 26, 2005 12:26 PM
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posted by Key on
04:59 PM
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Comments (6)
»
Velociworld links with:
I AM THE CROW
»
suburban blight links with:
Caw! Caw!
May 16, 2005
Is Mercury in Retrograde?
Does hit-seeking make one INSANE? I'd like to take a friggin baseball bat to the Sitemeter function sometimes. And not just on MY site...
I think many bloggers would be much more tolerable if they had no friggin clue how many hits they were getting relative to their peers.
Maybe everyone's Sitemeter should be password protected. It's too big. It's the friggin currency of blogworld. And yet, we don't tattoo our bank balances on our foreheads. And WHY not?
People are distressing, finessing, blessing, OBSESSING over these damn stats.
My averages? Here ya go...
Typical, nonpimping averages since inception - 200/day
During tsunami googlanche - 400s
After - 300s
Preceding meet - upper 300s
Blogwar with Acidhead - upper 400s (topping at 900 day of)
Postwar (rubbahneckahs hoping for update) - 300s
And lately, given lack of such juice - 200s and dropping
So Moogs has a point. I could, uh, write more often. And I will, I want to. But first, I need a break. I haven't been in the mood to write, but I kept thinking that I had to, lest my faithful few disappear into the abyss, never again to resurface.
Through my stress, the fog has lifted, and now I see just how stupid that line of reasoning was.
Almost as ass-backwards as this comment:
That's what happens when you don't like to be the butt of all jokes anymore. You got just what you wanted.
posted by Acidman on May 16, 2005 04:06 PM
What the eternal fuck?
Hell yeah, I got what I wanted. I will not be paid with an Acidbath for my willingness to take public abuse. Are you fucking kidding me?
Having said that, I am tired of this bullshit. When I come back from my reprieve, your Acidic ass is going BACK on my blogroll, where it shall stay, as you are and shall remain my blogfather.
I will have no more of this nonsense.
Nor will I be the butt of ANYONE'S jokes. Period. Try it, you grumpy old goat, and fear sleep, as you just may wake under the scalpel of one Dr. Sven, having just become that which you despise so...
Pesky vapors. Make me do the damnedest things.
Postscript: Before I go, I must roll the credits on the post-war drama, and give what is due to the blogbud who's Indian name shall forever after be He Who Stands For Ladies. Heh...
Update: Man, I guess I can be vague. Let me spell it out. I am not pouting about traffic, not MINE anyway. I'm complaining about everyone else's.
Those silly little numbers, melting people's brains, making them crazy, valuing links, gifting accordingly, watching the peons clamor for them. WTF? Bureaucratic bullshit in blogworld?
I stay in my bubble, and I ignore. Well, my bubble done got bursted. I'll be back when it reforms.
Show Comments »
I would posit that Rob is great peeps.
posted by
Velociman on May 17, 2005 12:40 AM
I think she means it, dude. And she hates me on a regular basis. She doan fuck around. I would take the call.
posted by
Velociman on May 17, 2005 12:45 AM
Geez, Key;
Don't put any stock in what Sitemater says. It may as well be Vman's monkey spinning bingo balls, for all the accuracy Sitemeter's numbers have. Use the AWStats in your hosting Control Panel. They're the real deal.
Drop me a note if you'd like a runthrough on how to find/use 'em.
Paul
posted by
Light & Dark on May 17, 2005 01:18 AM
I have to admit to the occasional stress over stats. I'm seeking help but so far, I've not been able to rid myself of it entirely. "They like me, they really like me..." or not.
I have to agree, the AWStats are the real deal. Easy to use as well.
Write when YOU want to. When YOU feel like it. Your readers will be here, whether you are or not.
posted by
Moogie on May 17, 2005 07:26 AM
Who gives a fuck? You write because of you. You should not care who and how many people read you. It is your blog and the hell with the others. You can bend over backwards and try to make people like you, just be yourself and fuck the others, Cat
posted by
catfish on May 17, 2005 08:37 AM
I cannot believe you didn't link to me in that post. Now my day is ruined. Oh, my wounded Sitemeter. Oh, the horror. ;-)
Hope your bubble reforms soon. Kinda missing your writing you know?
posted by
zonker on May 17, 2005 09:06 AM
Let's see.
I got attacked for no reason several months ago.
I called a spade a spade (BEFORE Velociman did).
I fell off the blogroll, although I kept the attacker on *my* blogroll.
Hmmmm....
Anyone see the pattern here?
posted by
Jack on May 17, 2005 01:18 PM
So, this is post-war drama for hits?
posted by
livey on May 17, 2005 05:49 PM
Man, a chick can just go on and on about something. Oh, and sometimes a guy who is acting like a chick. You ladies rub off on us. That's my favorite part...the rubbing.
Sigh. I guess I'm going to have to go mine your archives.
posted by
Bane on May 17, 2005 09:09 PM
Livey, if it is, it ain't working!
No, I really just need a break... Not threatening to quit or anything, just venting a bit.
Most of it isn't even Rob or war related, although the part about the blockquote obviously is. And that's what I SHOULD have said to begin with, and left it at that.
He'll go back on the roll, the muse will find me, and all will be Utopian. He will respect women, and I will get published.
posted by
Key on May 18, 2005 11:21 AM
I sincerely hope everything works out the way you want it to. Good Luck.
posted by
livey on May 18, 2005 12:46 PM
Damn, I should never drink and try to read blogs.
posted by
James Old Guy on May 18, 2005 01:10 PM
I echo Catfish and Moogy. It's your blog. Write what you want when you want about what you want. If the writing is good people will come. It takes time. BTW, according to the stats on my server Sitemeter records only about 50% of the hits I really get.
posted by
Denny on May 19, 2005 06:53 PM
I've posted Carnival of the BabeWits #1, which links back to this post. For some reason, the world of mu.nu won't let me trackback due to questionable content. Go figure.
posted by
Mark Alexander on May 20, 2005 01:20 PM
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posted by Key on
10:51 PM
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Comments (14)
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Cadillac Tight links with:
Burying the hatchet
May 14, 2005
Dead
Dead. Dead. Dead.
Either I suck, or blogworld died.
Or Sitemeter has the dry heaves again. Or my anti-blog-pimping indignation/laziness has bitten me in the ass.
I'm sprinkling some blow over the keyboard for good measure. If it doesn't work, I may have to do some renovating. Maybe I'll trade the tan in for purple, get the place at least looking pimp.
Also, a "bloggers whom I've met in person" sidebar list is long overdue, so I'll be working on that as well.
And not to be drastic, but I'm also considering writing more often. Well, that's the pipe dream anyway.
Show Comments »
I'm sorry, baby. Everybody's over at my place.
posted by
Velociman on May 14, 2005 07:24 PM
It's Spring.
People have better things to do OUTSIDE than to be inside sitting at a computer.
Or better things to do INSIDE that are associated with Spring but do NOT involve a computer... or if they do, it's too kinky for most.
;-)
posted by
Jack on May 15, 2005 05:12 AM
When all else fails, write something snarky and amusing about a celebrity. That usually gets the juices flowing again...
posted by
sadie on May 15, 2005 06:30 PM
I just compared your sitemeter from today to mine, and mine's bigger. HA! IN YOUR FACE!
Uh, wait, what I meant to say was, uh, nice blog...and stuff. Forget about all that other stuff. I don't know what I was thinking.
Sorry.
posted by
Bane on May 15, 2005 10:12 PM
LOL, damn Bane, I HAVE gotten pathetic. Heh... ; )
posted by
Key on May 15, 2005 10:28 PM
You know, we can't talk back and forth too much, or 'you know who' will accuse us of having a chatroom.
Regardless, I suspect most of my extraordinary (for me) traffic today must be my new trolls, sniffing around.
Of course, I've also put up some boobies, so who knows.
And I don't think the pathetic shoe fits on you. There is another 'princess' right now who claims that title, though that's not for me to judge, so I'll just shut up now.
posted by
Bane on May 15, 2005 10:33 PM
That's what happens when you don't like to be the butt of all jokes anymore. You got just what you wanted.
posted by
Acidman on May 16, 2005 04:06 PM
Wait...did you just say that you are going to WRITE MORE? Isn't using the name Key and the term "writing more" something of an oxymoron? A welcome one mind you.... ;)
Hm...a little purple...a sexy, big-boobed lady i the corner...a littel full here..a little fluff there and you'll be dragging them away from Vman's site before you know it.
posted by
Moogie on May 16, 2005 08:24 PM
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posted by Key on
04:58 PM
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Comments (8)
Model T Gangs
I didn't know they existed.
Fifty bikers floating in on Harleys, into the diner for an hour, hit the gas station, and back out of town...yeah, that happens.
This, I've never seen. No festival in town. They all just whizzed in an out yesterday during the lunch hour.
Show Comments »
Can't be Red Hatters....they don't enough class.
posted by
zonker on May 15, 2005 12:44 PM
I really like model T cars
posted by
bryce campbell on May 20, 2005 05:20 PM
I really like model T cars
posted by
erinn on May 20, 2005 05:20 PM
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posted by Key on
02:59 PM
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Comments (3)
May 12, 2005
Whatever
McCaulay Culkin is full of it.
My guess is that he's not talking because in his little head whatever happened was consensual and private, and perhaps not at all inappropriate. Or he's too embarrassed to give it up. Or he feels that it would be betrayal of a friendship that he considered to be genuine.
Regardless of the reason, the boy ain't right.
He went from being the "the most famous and richest child star there ever was" to dropping off the face of the earth. A few roles, yes, but nothing like we thought we'd see out of him after Home Alone.
And a Hollywood star can weather a bad divorce and custody battle as we would a bad day at the office. So I'm not buying that as what broke him.
Then there was a wedding at eighteen, getting picked up for drugs, not to mention looking like complete hell in the arrest pic...
I'm sure by now Culkin means to put the past behind him, and hopefully get on with his career. Unfortunately, Hollywood is not that forgiving. He faded out when momentum was high, remained silent when reporters cared enough to ask, and now attempts to shake a stigma that is firmly in place.
My guess is that Jackson is not only guilty of molesting Culkin, but also wrecking the lively spirit that we saw, and only saw, in Home Alone. The selfish acts of one man very likely destroyed the career of another, and quite possibly any hope of a healthy relationship.
...unless he decides one day to grow up and deal with it. Clearly that day isn't today.
(Disclaimer: Yes, it has occurred to me that Culkin may be telling the truth. However, it is my opinion -and that's why I'm here by the way-, that he is not. I do not, however, demand that he is lying, as it is possible that he believes that he is answering truthfully. Regarding substantiation for my opinion... what do I look like a professional journalist? I don't need no freeeaking substantiation. I go on hunch. However, there is this.)
Show Comments »
I am no Michael Jackson fan but something in this whole thing stinks badly. A french chief as a witness, I would sooner believe the monkey. This whole thing is a circus.
posted by
JOG on May 12, 2005 02:15 PM
When did MaCaulay Culkin morph into Steve Bescemi?
posted by
Velociman on May 12, 2005 06:24 PM
I think I read somewhere that Buscemi was really cute as a kid...
posted by
Key on May 12, 2005 06:27 PM
Right you are: "the boy ain't right."
posted by
Yabu on May 12, 2005 07:29 PM
of course, his parents divorcing over his $$ couldn't help either....
posted by
caltechgirl on May 12, 2005 09:28 PM
We managed to grab him on his way through for drug possession.
posted by
Tina on May 12, 2005 11:58 PM
I agree. Being a victim of sexual abuse by Jocko probably isn't something he'd like to be remembered for. It was a sad attempt to salvage whatever pitiful career he might have left.
posted by
Pammy on May 13, 2005 12:19 PM
He returned the favor to Jackson, man, that is sick, I bet Jacko has a pinto dick? Cat
posted by
catfish on May 13, 2005 12:49 PM
That's exactly what my husband and I think. How could a sane thinking person not? Did you see him on Larry King? He couldn't even look at Larry as he denied being molested - kept rolling his eyes up to the ceiling, cameras... giggling... looked like Ray Charles on ludes.
Like you said: it's possible he's telling the truth but I'm not buying it for an instant.
posted by
pam on May 13, 2005 02:46 PM
I saw a Barbara Walter's interview with Culkin some years ago. As I recall, he was abused by his father....and basically forced to be in the movies, even though he didn't really want to. He did not have a happy, healthy childhood.....so I think that explains a lot about why he is the way he is now.
Also,I'm not sure I want to call any judgement on Jackson just yet (other than that we know he is a wacko!). So far there has really been no concrete evidence that he did anything.....and the people suing him are known for trying to get money out of famous people.
The whole thing is just a sad mess really. And what can we expect for people who were turned into celebrities...and sort of forced into being adults...when they were mere children. Oy. Sad.
Well, that's my opinion anyway.
posted by
Dogsdontpurr on May 13, 2005 03:48 PM
I have it on good authority that, despite his current visage, Steve Buscemi was a freaking beautiful child.
posted by
Velociman on May 13, 2005 09:52 PM
Judy Garland, Drew Barrymore, those "Different Strokes" kids, Macauley, Michael Jackson himself, the list can go on and on....a showbizzness career at a young age is Bad Medicine.
Alfalfa
posted by
werbinox on May 13, 2005 10:51 PM
bad medincine indeed.
[that's bon jovi!]
posted by
jessica on May 24, 2005 10:17 AM
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May 11, 2005
I Read It Again
My girl Kel knocked out a killer chapter in the western series. I had to reread it again today to fully appreciate.
Before reading that last bit, I was convinced that there were a list of low-lifes that I could kill with my bare hands (or die trying) given the opportunity. (This would include John Couey, Jerry Hobbs, and the like.)
But now, I'm thinking that they just need to be pigbitched, alive of course. For starters, anyway.
If you are behind in your reading of The Gunslinger, as I was, here are your preceding chapters:
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Show Comments »
.. oh, yeah... Kelly knocked off a good one... and in record time, too....
posted by
Eric on May 11, 2005 08:20 PM
The pigbitch tells no tales. So, you know, she has THAT going for her.
posted by
Velociman on May 12, 2005 06:25 PM
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posted by Key on
05:08 PM
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Comments (2)
Oh Baby You...
You got a disease.
Or could have. The runaway bride may have a valid excuse for her erratic behavior, as well as those "deer in headlight" eyeballs of hers.
I'm no expert on such dealings, but I'm guessing that if Wilbanks tests positive for Grave's disease, it could put a bit of a kink into the plans of all parties involved.
(Wilbanks is currently hiding out undergoing treatment, while her ex-friends opportune on eBay.)
Show Comments »
They didn't mention her breast implants or her born again virgin hubby to be.
posted by
James Old Guy on May 11, 2005 04:20 PM
You have to admit...it is amusing
posted by
Yabu on May 13, 2005 12:59 PM
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posted by Key on
02:47 PM
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Comments (2)
May 08, 2005
To The Moms
Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!
To all of these mommies, as well as all of you others on the roll or out there in blogdom...
And for all of the noses wiped, booboos kissed, interference ran, sacrifices made, ulcers caused, and sanity compromised...
And because we wouldn't change any of it for the world...
Happy Mother's Day.
Show Comments »
Thanks, Key. Happy Mother's Day to YOU as well;-)
posted by
sadie on May 8, 2005 11:15 PM
Well said. I think.
posted by
Velociman on May 9, 2005 12:26 AM
Thanks, darlin'! I am having my sanity compromised even as I type. But what else is new?
Happy Mother's Day, y'all!
posted by
Kelley on May 9, 2005 12:36 AM
Hope you had a great Mother's Day yesterday!!
Thanks, hun.
posted by
Christina on May 9, 2005 08:13 AM
Thanks sweetie. What a wonderful thing to say. I hope your day was very special.
posted by
Moogie on May 9, 2005 06:19 PM
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posted by Key on
11:02 PM
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Comments (5)
May 06, 2005
Question...
Do you ever feel like painting the grass pink and sky green and the trees purple and the clouds magenta and the birds chartreuse and the lake an iridescent rainbow, as an oil spot in a puddled parking lot?
I do.
Show Comments »
Damn, Sis...
The last time I had that thought was soon after ingesting a small pink piece of paper with a purple dragon printed on it.
About 24 years ago.
Glad the closing went well, kiddo - celebrate, you've earned it!
posted by
Joe on May 6, 2005 11:08 PM
You found the missing bears! Awesome! I'd a thunk they'd be stale by now, but apparently they have the half life of Berkelium (atomic weight 247, should you need to know. They ask weird stuff under duress).
posted by
Velociman on May 7, 2005 12:18 AM
You got any more of whatever it is you're on?
posted by
Yabu on May 7, 2005 09:07 AM
No.
Danged hippy.
posted by
Bane on May 7, 2005 08:22 PM
My wife makes art like that sometimes, using this cool program called MojoWorld.
As for me, I figure the world's plenty confusing as is.
posted by
The Polite Liberal on May 7, 2005 11:26 PM
...and I thought it was just that danged rebellious spirit that idiot shrink told me I had. ; )
posted by
Key on May 8, 2005 08:56 PM
I don't blame you for dropping acid. If I were you, I'd do it, too. Acid is no good for you.
I love magenta clouds. They can BE that color at sunrise or sunset, if you catch the view just right.
posted by
Acidman on May 8, 2005 09:43 PM
Dropping acid or dumping acid? As I recall, every time I dropped acid, I dumped it soon afterwards. Smelled terrible.
posted by
Velociman on May 11, 2005 12:05 AM
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posted by Key on
10:54 PM
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Comments (8)
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Straight White Guy links with:
C'mon over...
May 05, 2005
I Had To Wear Heels Today
So I had a real estate closing today of the commercial variety...on my own personal investment.
I usually LIVE for closings... They either mean a pay check, a piece of earth that I can call my own, or a reshuffling of assets which ends up saving me money.
But this was different, one of those deals where right up to the closing table I was asking myself if this was the right way to go, as the timing seemed off in my opinion. But the husband was a GO!, and there was no reasoning with the man who had his eye on the prize.
So it went.
And the ominous cloud surrounding my aura felt validated when it met the closing attorney.
Our closing attorney was Quentin Tarantino.
You think I jest? Okay, fine, I see your point. Why would Quentin Tarantino moonlight as a closing attorney in Bumfuck, Georgia?
Okay, valid.
But the guy is spitting image. Sadie, girl, I thought of you, thinking perhaps that you could appreciate the likeness moreso than I. Still... I wondered how everyone else could be so calm, as I waited expectantly for the guy to unload a round into us.
Of course the weapon was a fountain pen, and I won't see the damage for years to come.
On the bright side, refreshments were served. (And I can't tell you how long it had been since I'd had a rolo.)
Show Comments »
OMG!!! Is it pitiful that I'm drooling as I type? Perhaps I should step away from the keyboard...
posted by
sadie on May 5, 2005 11:13 PM
Being a tall beautiful woman, wearing those heels must have hurt alot, Cat
posted by
catfish on May 6, 2005 11:25 AM
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posted by Key on
10:26 PM
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Comments (2)
Oh...Why Didn't Ya Say So?
She had ISSUES.
Heh, I guess we have that in common.
(Read what the runaway bride has to say for herself HERE, but my love is for that fleeting headline above.)
Show Comments »
I believe her "boy' has some issues as well. I'm talking "hot potato" issues...as in not dropping it.
Dumb Ass!!!
posted by
Yabu on May 5, 2005 09:55 PM
That dude is setting himself up for a world full of hurt. Personally, I think he'll drop her, but he can't get his 15 minutes of fame on the talk show circuit by walking away now. Not controversial enough.
posted by
Velociman on May 5, 2005 11:49 PM
I wonder if she ran when he announced he was a 32 year old virgin. A man who is 32 years old and proudly announces to the world that he is saving himself for his bride to be gets exactly what he deserves. Personally I think she is kind of hot.
posted by
James Old Guy on May 6, 2005 10:43 AM
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posted by Key on
09:32 PM
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Comments (3)
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Shadowscope links with:
Jennifer Wilbanks
May 04, 2005
It Hurts!
Have I mentioned that I gave birth to a drama queen?
And this is not your garden-variety, driven-snow, blogworld drama, noooo.... This child knows drama in its purest and simplest form. The thin veil of mock maturity is not adopted in an effort to mute self-absorption.
She was four hours old as she thrashed and gasped in my arms, seven pounds of end-of-the-world frustration personified, because this lugnut creature holding her did not seem to get the emergence of the situation.
I was in the process of reaching into a convoluted gown in an attempt to uncover some nourishment for the child, but I had to take to a moment to smile lovingly at this little fireball, in appreciation for her first performance.
Of course I called her both a "drama queen," as well as "temper prone," but, as I mentioned, I did so smiling. And my aunt, the only one who had stayed through the long, sleepless night, rebuked me for my early labeling.
(Yeah, she took it back. Over and over again, in fact...each and every time she did any babysitting for me.)
My baby is now nine. And now she seeks the performance, would. just. die. if she missed American Idol, learns and repeats lines from her favorite sit-coms, and draws a SHARP intake of breath over everything from anxiety over spilt milk to excitement over the discovery of a new fruit roll up flavor.
And tonight... as I tucked this precious Priss into her bed, and hugged her, she began what I call a "spaz attack" level of squirminess, and exclaimed, "It hurts! Mom! Oooohhhh! It HURTS! It sooooo hurts..." then quietly, giving into the inevitable agony, "Uh, the loooove, Oh. it. hurts..."
She wants acting classes. Maybe I should cave on this one.
Show Comments »
Those little girls know how to wrap you around there fingers, Cat
posted by
catfish on May 5, 2005 01:26 PM
Cave? That's a good idea...just keep her grounded until 30 years of age.
posted by
Yabu on May 5, 2005 04:07 PM
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posted by Key on
10:30 PM
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Comments (2)
May 03, 2005
I Get By
With a little help from my friends.
Of course, they could have been in it for the testicular fortitude, but I'm going to bask in the glory of the hinky linky love none-the-less.
Both of these pals just hated to see a google search for pitted tonsils be my 100,000th, as did I, so in the wee hours of the morning, Sitemeter was loaded down with Velociworld and Suburban Blight referrals squeezing out the riffraff, for which I am duly appreciative.
Problem? I may have call this one a tie.
I am confused. Sitemeter declared Velociman the winner when I checked it at 4 in the morning, an hour after it tripped over. Then I checked again around ten this morning, and it looked to be the Blightess, so I refreshed and checked again. Velociman.
Fucking Sitemeter.
I hope you two are joined at the hip, because you're going to be sharing a testicle. Heh.
(I will post a pic of the harmless looking stress ball tomorrow; it's just not the same though, you really have to squeeeeze it.)
Update: One more thing.... CLICK HERE. NOW. Good. You see, I am going to be at a ballgame tonight, and could very well miss Velociman's 200,000th, so you guys go hit him for me. Make it hurt. Bruise him even.
Show Comments »
Give it Vman... ugh... I hear he could use it... I'm not sayin' for himself, but the mutant might be down one... Faux or not, appearances are everything are they not?
posted by
RedNeck on May 3, 2005 05:53 PM
See, I had nothing to do with any of this, Vman.
posted by
Evilwhiteguy on May 3, 2005 06:10 PM
Thought you wuz a ballthief, Aub.
posted by
Velociman on May 3, 2005 06:51 PM
Heh. Whatta prize for the Velociman.
posted by
sadie on May 4, 2005 03:07 PM
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posted by Key on
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Comments (4)
»
Pajama Pundits links with:
A to Z Linkfest #4
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红外测温仪 links with:
红外测温仪
May 02, 2005
He Still Claims Me
He disappeared for a while, but I did not give up, nor did I remove him from the roll. I knew he'd be back. I knew my big bro would not abandon me!
However, he did change his identity. So now, after a year of being pig-headedly stubborn, I will remove "Bejus" from the blogroll and replace it with Tobacco Joe. Welcome home hon.
(Who the hell let you out anyhow? California Hotel rules apply.)
Show Comments »
Thanks, Sis...and congrats on 100,000!!!
posted by
Joe Tobacco on May 3, 2005 11:44 AM
I think he's TRYING to be sneaky...he just moved URL's again, Key! ;-)
posted by
zonker on May 8, 2005 04:07 PM
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posted by Key on
05:18 PM
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Comments (2)
Boogie's Run
We just received a work order on that street. Add that to the list of addresses I would not like to have.
Although, I would like to point out the obvious: Boogies do not run, they are picked.
Show Comments »
posted by Key on
01:07 PM
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Comments (1)
Re Jennifer Wilbanks
So proud to call her a local.
The wedding is not off she says, just postponed.
Uh, yee-ah. You think that.
If he's stoopid enough to take her back, he deserves her.
(Hannity will be interviewing the groom tonight; I will be watching.)
Show Comments »
She's got that Karen Carpenter purge-after-every-meal look about her too, n'est pas?
posted by
Rader on May 2, 2005 01:35 PM
Yar, and the deer in headlights look. A bit off-putting.
posted by
Key on May 2, 2005 01:44 PM
The only way he'll marry her now is if he thinks he'll be able to off her in a few years, claim it was suicide and collect the inheritance.
posted by
Rader on May 2, 2005 02:28 PM
From what I read he said that "everyone makes mistakes", and still wants her. What a fucking maroon.
posted by
Richard on May 2, 2005 08:13 PM
I almost mentioned when I posted about the clueless airhead that she was from your town, but I relented because I like you.
posted by
Denny on May 4, 2005 11:07 PM
DOESNT SHE NO EVERYONE WANTS TO NO WHAT THE "ISSUES" ARE, IS SHE ON DRUGS?
posted by
NONO on May 11, 2005 04:07 AM
I wonder if her fiance knew about the felony shoplifting charge, and the other shoplifting charges, and the 2 weekends spent in jail, and the community service she has already had to serve before he asked her to marry him. Yeah, everyone is allowed one mistake. He must not have known about those little details, and that does not count the times she did not get caught. Guys, please don't hold this against the other women in the world, we don't like her actions at all!!!!! She has apparently not learned her lesson from her previous crimes, so God forbid that one day she has a child and decides to drown the child, and expect forgiveness.
posted by
jackie on May 13, 2005 07:13 PM
I will be nice...The goofy girl! I want everything she's taking....Murry
posted by
Murry on May 16, 2005 01:11 AM
OMG Look at her run. Sounds like she had it all and ran as she did on her first fiance' she needs to grow up and she should be punished and made to pay for all the tax payers dollars we spent looking for her. She knew if you are gone over a 2 day period someone was looking for her Lil Miss innocent caught again just like a theif in the night. No pun intennded lol How many times you been arrested fore stealing ? well Gl John mason on the 2nd time around trying to marry her you look like a really good guy and there are a ton of real women out here that would like to meet you and treat you like a real man should be treated you seem to be an upstanding kinda guy dont whimp out and marry that kind of gal!!!!!!!!!!!!
posted by
Mindy on May 31, 2005 05:03 PM
Wilbanks may be a Dissociative Fugue victim. Aubrey Seiler had a similar problem. Seiler used a laptop in an apartment with a roommate. Wilbanks worked in an office that would not have provided Cubicle Level Protection. She also had as many as three computers at home.
The same problem caused the Mary Shotwell Little disappearance in 1965: the Mark Barton Day Trader shooting in 1999; and the Heritage School Shooting in Conyers Ga.
The phenomenon involved was discovered when it caused mental breaks for Knowledge workers using the first close-spaced office workstations. The Cubicle solved that problem by 1968.
So few people are aware of that odd bit of history that the problem is never considered when someone has serious psychiatric symptoms and is involved in violence or runs away.
Most current disappearances are of college students. Only one has recovered and returned. Ahmad Arain, UCLA, was found in Mexico. He had wandered there in an altered mental state. He was a computer science full scholarship student and had just moved back home to save money. He would have reconfigured his computer workstation and there were many family members to provide repeating detectable movement in peripheral vision.
VisionAndPsychosis.Net is a psychology project about the conflict of physiology at the bottom of those mental breaks.
posted by
L K Tucker on August 11, 2005 12:51 AM
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posted by Key on
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»
Fistful of Fortnights links with:
That Idiot Bride.
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Shadowscope links with:
I fucking told you so
HammerHead
