Key Issues: October 2004 Archives

The Dogs of War

Tuesday, of course, is Election Day. The choices are stark, and apparent. At least to me. If you think George Bush has executed the War on Terror efficaciously I suggest you vote for him. If you believe John Kerry can bring a more nuanced gameplan to the fore I suggest you vote for him.

Everyone gone now?

Good. Please share my joy as I get down to the holy poly. I fear for Key's soul, as she has never posted a pic of my girl Schlotzie:

Nor has she shown us her half rubber uniform:

And so. I go out in a flame of glory. Or infamy. I was just trying to help out, dear. And I TOLD you I could not be trusted.

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posted by Velociman on 03:29 AM | Comments (5)

I'm In!

This is so badge. I am actually inside Key Monroe's inner sanctum. Wow.

Velociman here. Mission? ~~To destroy Godless Cubanistas in Paraguay by sanction of the Omega Project~~ To provide some weekend commentary during the voluptuous Key's absence.

What is it like in here? You'd like to know, eh? Smells nice. Very nice. A hint of confederate jasmine, with a waft of magnolia here and there. Tapestries. Some very nice antiques. Other than that you must use your imaginations. This is her personal zone. I cannot comment further.

I suppose I must get down to business, although that is difficult, given the thong she encased in glass with the tiny hammer and the disclaimer IN CASE OF EMERGENCY, SHOOT YOURSELF, WAD. THESE ARE NOT FOR YOU.

Ach, well. That was meant for all of us.

Let's get down to the business at hand: tomorrow Key will be watching the Georgia-Florida game in home country, while I will be watching in the belly of the beast: Jacksonville. I must confess it is more fun to watch the game with Gator fans slavering all over you, with their impressive nose hair issues, than to be in the graces of the True Believers. The fights are better.

I called the Dawgs 24-13 on my site. I see Key as a bit more frisky, a bit more of a player: I call it 30-6 on the Key Scale. And Spurrier takes the Miami job.

I'd love to go on, peeps, but these lavender-scented sheets beckon. I must take a little nappie...

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posted by Velociman on 02:00 AM | Comments (4)

Bad Hair Day

My blog is having a bad hair day. It is feeling blah, and doesn't have a damn thing to wear.

P.S. My brother still needs a date...scroll for pic.

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posted by Key on 08:43 PM | Comments (5)

Small Town Afternoon

Our office is located in the heart of our little humble town...and we small towns have our traditions.

Every year, a few days before Halloween, every child in the county is unleashed upon our "downtown" square to loot candy from town merchants.

Today was the day, and the pic doesn't do it justice; it was taken before the event really got started.

Up close, it was a site to behold.

The cowgirl is Miss Priss. And, yes, I am one of those holy psycho over-protective parents, which is why you can't see her beautiful face.

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posted by Key on 12:08 AM | Comments (2)

Just One More Blogmeet Pic

...at least for now.

How could I resist this fine exhibition of bloggerly love:

We are a caring kind, we are...

Photographer is again the Evil White Guy.

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posted by Key on 08:42 PM | Comments (5)

Hang Up on Me, Will You?

No more sympathy for telemarketers.

I may be a royal pain in the ass, but at least I'm polite. I'm perhaps most polite when I simply tell telemarketers that I don't have time to fake an interest in their product, I'm even moderately polite when I ask them if they majored in telemarketing in college, and I'm at least somewhat polite when I hmm and huh over the entire spiel before laughingly telling some poor guy that I really have no need for bacteria-eating septic disks.

That's why I'm SO shocked by what just transpired.

Understand, we run our own biz here...There are three lines, and one me, and my friggin $400 multi-line cordless has crapped out on me. Sooo, when the phone rings, I curse, get up, and answer in my best I'm not annoyed voice.

A second lapses before the caller realizes I'm on the line, and I could have hung up then...but I didn't. No, I waited for the girl to ask me to take some jewelry survey. Then I went with my MOST polite, "I'm sorry, this is a business, and we really don't have time for..."

Click.

Bitch! She hung up on me! I stared at the receiver in disbelief. That was a first.

Interesting challenge. Maybe I can have some fun with the next call.

So I figure, if I have to hang up on them, score one for them...but if I can get them to hang up on me, score one for me!

I'll tally up at the end of next week. Anyone else want to play?

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posted by Key on 08:27 PM | Comments (6)

Call Me Pimp

I'm pimping out this fella. He has horrible taste in women, so I've decided an internet hunt couldn't possible hurt. Besides, I've decided bloggers and readers of bloggers are (for the most part) good people.

Yes, he is looking at me as though to ask, "WTF?" That's okay. I'm his sister. I do what I please. He came by the office to visit me yesterday, and I informed him that I was in charge of finding his next girlfriend.

He's 23, he owns a couple of small businesses, and he no longer has a probation officer. What more could you ask? Oh yeah, he also has depth and charm. (It's thick in the gene pool, and our eyes are brown for a reason.)

If you think this is totally tasteless and breaking unwritten blog-rules, please keep in mind that I don't need to hear what I already know.

Any takers?

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posted by Key on 11:48 PM | Comments (15)
» suburban blight links with: Sleeping Blogger Xing

Me and My Lovely Date

I just cannot sing her praises enough. She was the perfect date. (Kell, really, stop beating yourself up...so you slept as I was on the verge of death by dehydration...it's not like anything short of an 11 pint blood transfusion would have helped anyway!)

Seriously, I couldn't have asked for a better roomie. That would be my girl on the right, yours truly on the left.

Photo Shoot Courtesy Evil White Guy

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posted by Key on 09:36 PM | Comments (8)

Desegregation

I first learned the meaning of this word from the inside of a private school's classroom. I think the entire school (K-12) had maybe 1200 students, two of whom were black.

During my tenth grade year, I made a huge move. I moved to Clarke Central High School in Athens, GA, which was "desegregated" back when my parents were in attendance.

I then learned the truth behind the would-be meaning of the word.

The truth was that the master plan to desegregate had about as much ingenuity as a half-baked idea to combine water and oil...which is exactly how it went down.

By the time I was in attendance, twenty-five years later, my previously sheltered and quite culture-shocked ass was not quite grasping their latent acceptance of an obvious failure.

Don't get me wrong. It was 50/50, but it was like this: Black people parked on one side of the parking lot, white on the other, black people sat on one side of the classroom, white on the other, black people sat in the cafeteria for lunch, white people sat outside on Beta Hill...I could go on.

Now. Aside from the occasional hall fight, everyone got along, everyone friendly, but when it was time to park, take a seat, or eat lunch, this is the way it was.

Pronunciation of Iraq

I - rak, I - rok, Uh- rak, Uh - rok, Ear - rak, Ear - rok...

Does this bug anyone else, or am I just a freak?

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posted by Key on 05:39 PM | Comments (10)
» TomorrowYesterday links with: How do you pronounce iraq

The Sun Harmonizes With My Anus

For you, David:

The Sun and Uranus are in a rare harmony today. This is a time when the things about which you are most certain have a way of revealing themselves exactly as you envisioned. [source: cosmic tidbit]

That's nice. Yeah, I see that happening.

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posted by Key on 05:20 PM | Comments (4)

PMS (Post Meet Slump)

I am suffering from this, I believe. Really not sure, but it's my excuse regardless.

There are two fellas I would really liked to have met. One is Jack of Random Fate, who is celebrating his 40th birthday Sunday. (He actually has a fairly decent excuse for his absence, there being an ocean between us...) Happy Birthday, Hon!

The other is my buddy Sam from The Brier Patch, who sends out his gratitude to all who attended. Trust me honey, it is you who had the gratitude of every crazy in the house on Saturday. They only cursed your name once or twice, and that was only because you chose a wedding over them!

You were both missed.

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posted by Key on 11:26 PM | Comments (5)

Late Night Movies

I must be insane in my attempt to tackle this topic.

Having commiserated last night during our homeless plight, I had to visit the blog-bro first and foremost this morning. And lo and behold, he has found an article which attempts to discuss the psychology of the prono industry, yet begins with a mention of "naughty Oompa Loompas."

And men wonder why women aren't bigger fans.

Most prono sucks. Obviously, men aren't as picky. Perhaps most have no problem at all getting a hard-on to fake boobs, fake moans, and fake music.

I just can't make it work. I don't fantasize about fake-looking people chanting in ehs and uhs as though stifling a sneeze. I would sooner take a bite out of plastic fruit than get off on that crap.

Is this what 15 year old boys are setting as their ideal? If so, Future Brides of America should bring a suit.

Sooooo, do I have a better idea? Well, it wouldn't take much.

Voyeurism is good. Rugged-looking character hangs out in the alley admiring the view which is being openly flaunted for him. Tension builds. Eventually, she throws her apartment key into the street before turning her back and disappearing from sight. He tears in, throws her against the wall, shows no mercy, she gasps, she devours, she claws...and in the end SCREAMS, make that both of them. It's torn from their gut as Metallica shrieks in the background.

Although a movie with a plot is still preferable, I think I could watch that without rolling my eyes.

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posted by Key on 09:23 PM | Comments (5)
» Gut Rumbles links with: works for me, too
» You Bitch links with: Who Knows? Goad Knows.
» Straight White Guy links with: Tellico Plains Drifter

I Need a Man

...preferably one who can carry his own fucking goose.

I could go on or I could stop there...I just thought it symbolic.

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posted by Key on 04:15 PM | Comments (8)

Well, At Least I Came Out Better Than the Blogfaddah

Taken from Acidman:

You preferred Bush's statements 78% of the time
You preferred Kerry's statements 22% of the time

Voting purely on the issues you should vote Bush

Who would you vote for if you voted on the issues?

Find out now!

Kerry got me on the $4000/yr tax credit for college education. It's like this...when you owe the IRS 5 figures, the words "tax credit" suddenly become more appealing than "multiple orgasm."

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posted by Key on 03:30 PM | Comments (4)

I Love This Shirt

I've had the pic on reserve a while, so I can't remember who I shamelessly ripped it from. (If I could, I'd tell them to fix the typo, then I'd order one.)

If I'm not mistaken, Eric whole-heartedly agrees with the philosophy as well. Maybe I should get him one of these instead of that drink I STILL owe him. (Unfortunately, he was already saturated by the time I arrived on the scene Saturday.)

Update: Apparently, I ripped the shirt from Anton...so to speak.

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posted by Key on 11:07 PM | Comments (6)

Recently Published Photos Support Allegations of Blogmeet Misconduct

Photos Courtesy Dax Montana

Exhibit A: Velociking is annoyed that his new serving wenches have no friggin clue what they're doing. (This photo taken only moments before he threw them off of the balcony in a fit of rage.)

Exhibit B: Velociking sits upon his throne in discontent. He belately realizes that now he has no one to fan him with his frond.

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posted by Key on 09:38 PM | Comments (3)

Let's Do This

I'm going to attempt the blogger superlatives. Understand, this is a lengthy and time-consuming process, so if I leave you out, I still appreciate you, you just didn't do anything stupid enough to leave an impression on my shine-marinated memory. (Also, although I thoroughly enjoyed the opportunity to meet a few of the lovely wives, I granted them immunity, so as not to wrongfully associate their actions with those of their spouses...)

First and foremost, BEST DATE: Having Kelley by my side MADE the trip. We have an uncanny means of easy communication that bypasses the typical cosmetic foreplay required with most female relationships. If I ever switch sides, I'm calling her.

Dax is BEST ALL-AROUND PARTY GUY. He wasn't sleeping in or passing out, rather he exhibited a constant ready and willingness to party with anyone who felt the urge to be subjected to his disarming grin and even more lethal apple brandy. (Oh, and Dax can shake the hell out of a red-headed slut. ...just ask Eric.)

Speaking of, poor Eric was a victim of apple-brandicide. It took over his body, making him both bipolar and bisexual, but I believe that my step-brat, in all his hair-pulling and teasing glory, was THE MOST FUN ...IMHO. Some who were smacked upside the head by him may disagree, but as Eric is a firm believer in faith healing, I'm confident that he was just trying to exorcise the head-spinning, people-biting demon out of Mr. Evil.

Again, speaking of... Mr. Evil is actually the LEAST EVIL. Great smile, great guy, easy conversationalist, AND I've recently discovered his blog and already thoroughly enjoy it.

Parkway Rest Jim gets the title of CRAZIEST BASTARD for reasons that have been explained far and wide at this point. He and Eric also provided the MOST entertainment; I can only imagine how talented these guys are when their speech ISN'T slurred. (Incidentally, Jim also had with him a MOST impressive bodyguard, which would explain why nobody messed with Jim.)

Mama had THE MOST ARDUOUS JOURNEY. No one-liner sum up; just go read the account!

As for OUR LEADER...tough call. We were definitely living under a Kimocracy. I only defied him once. I led the rebellion indoors at an eating establishment, refusing to dine outside in the cold. I paid. I was forced to spend the remainder of the evening on a freezing balcony, waiting on his every need, and fanning him with some giant palm frond freak of nature that the Yankees immediately identified with and felt compelled to harvest. So, with Velociman I'm torn between MOST CONTROLLING and MOST ARRESTING....kinda like the arrogance of Tommy Lee Jones, ya just don't know whether to be pissed off or turned on.

Rob was a bit of a recluse this time around, therefore we didn't get in our fill of heated debates and bullshit wars. The most animated I saw my little Yosemite Sam was when I ratted Kim and Kelley out for their plans to throw his comatose ass in the river. Life sprung into his limbs as he bounced up and donned his holster. "Let 'em try that now!" he sang. Crazy bastard. So, I'm going a little soft when I say that what I enjoy most about Acidman is that he has the BEST LAUGH. Indescribable, but really endearing, probably the most humble sound the man ever makes....and it in no way resembles the "BWAHAAHAHA" on his blog!

Also, Rob keeps the BEST company. And a meet just wouldn't be a meet without Rick and Georgia. Even though Georgia doesn't blog, I think I adopted her as my blogmom a long time ago.

I was the MOST EAGER TO MEET Geoffrey. AND HOW it pains me to admit that, because he is also the BIGGEST pain in the ass. Despite that, our political ideals are so close that if I was both a sophomoric male and a caustic Yankee, I think we'd be indistinguishable. (Geoff, might I also mention that I was kind enough NOT to discuss the ingredients of my killer nachos while YOUR ass was laid up in the bed hung over!)

Meanwhile, Gordon is simply the NICEST GUY. He has smiling blue eyes, and is very friendly. ...and he has a beautiful family.

I also thoroughly enjoyed the time with Kenny and Barbara; and Ken, your blog is MOST missed!

Zonker is a newbie to me, so I haven't gotten to know him well enough to label him; all I really know is that he is friendly, if a little shy. Zonker, enjoy your immunity while it lasts.

...and Denny...We need to talk about your staying power. So what if you were MOST inebriated and MOST naked before I even got there? By leaving, you deprived me of the opportunity to label you myself. You were MOST missed!

Oh, I also met my SHYEST reader. Chip, I command you to comment!

Whew...that was just like reliving it. I'm going to need a moment to recover. If I left anyone one out, please, bless me out in my comments and I'll update accordingly.

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Key DAHling,

Thank you for the accolade. :-)

/s/ the Crazy Bastard and his buddy

posted by Jim - Parkway Rest Stop on October 19, 2004 06:45 PM

I wasn't reclusive. I just didn't like the outbreak of adolescent acne I got right before the blogfest. I felt badly about the way I looked.

Strange, but true. Once I learned that I didn't have to go to court today, my face cleared up right away. I am fine now.

Explain that fact to me without using the word "stress."

posted by Acidman on October 19, 2004 06:49 PM

Am I allowed to use the word "psychosomatic"?

...and here I thought you were nervous about the meet. Regardless, that's a helluva reason to be a recluse. (...NOT pickin' though; glad you were there. : D)

posted by Key on October 19, 2004 07:03 PM

Least evil? I must have been doing something wrong :)

posted by Evilwhiteguy on October 19, 2004 07:13 PM

From all I've read on all of your sites so far this week, it sounds like y'all had one helluva blast. Even through the haze from Sam's "Home Made Wine" you were able to remember some of it. Hell, I didn't even hear about any fighting over football. Do y'all invite only fellow bloggers, or can lurkers/occasional commenters come to these functions? Georgia is a long way from Texas, but it sounds like it would be well worth the road trip.

posted by Fightin Tiger on October 19, 2004 07:55 PM

Just like a woman. You wine her and dine her and rock all night long...and then she says you skipped the foreplay.

I was the one who rolled over and fell asleep, though...

posted by kelley on October 19, 2004 08:01 PM

Damn, Key, sounds like you all had a blast. I'll have to do something really interesting on my trip to England to celebrate my 40th birthday to match that!!!

posted by Jack on October 19, 2004 08:08 PM

I agree, Key. Georgia needs a blog.

Georgia, if you're reading these blogs, come over to my place and leave me a comment so I can get the keys of your new blog to you.

And Key, you're a gorgeous woman! You had some of those men following you like hungry puppies. It was kinda fun to watch.

posted by Mamamontezz on October 19, 2004 08:18 PM

... most fun?... ok... that is directly attributed to the apple-brandicide...

posted by Eric on October 19, 2004 10:56 PM

Controlling AND arresting, eh? If that was a Kimocracy I must have exiled myself.

Hungry Puppy Velociman

posted by Velociman on October 19, 2004 11:04 PM

Put together another blog meetup and I'll be there. I have two excuses:
1. I was sick.
2. I had somewhere I had to be on Sunday and another night of partying would have done me in.

You and Kelley should have been there Friday anyway. You missed the good guitar jam. I'm parcticing more so I'll be better next year.

posted by Denny on October 23, 2004 08:53 PM

Fine. I'll leave a comment. Especially on the superlatives since Dax at least mentioned me and said I was missed....

So I missed it, and I missed all of y'all. However, I'm out in Oklahoma fighting the good fight and not sleeping until Nov. 3. What does that mean? By Nov. 5, I should be on a beach in South Carolina and in proximity of the Jawja bloggers. I WILL expect a mini-blogmeet. I DO expect you and my blog-sis to line up as many folks as possible to come out and meet up with your humble SSG and the young lady who hopes to change the first S of the SSG.

Now Eric, if you happen by to read this, I need you to drop me an email to aharris75 -- @ -- yahoo (dot) com, so we can discuss the possibilities of us stopping by to visit with you and the good wife.

Sorry, I sound a little bossy there. Politics will do that to you....

(Ang, no more blah,blah, blah about comments!) ; )

posted by Adam on October 26, 2004 09:14 AM

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posted by Key on 06:35 PM | Comments (12)
» Evilwhiteguy's Blog links with: The Aftermath...

I'm Back. I'm Alive.

I'm just not thriving.

Sam, honey, next time you give me a potion, can you supply an antidote as well?

I'm sure I can think of something nice to say about each and every attendee...eventually.

I pulled my nauseated ass out of bed this morning, got dressed, then spent the remainder of the morning in a courtroom discussion involving my foster son. (Basically, the situation sucks, and the system sucks.)

Meanwhile, I am still processing the events of the weekend, and I hope to have the mental clarity for a more in depth post shortly. (Maybe I'll even do the blogger superlatives again.)

Until then, I'd like to take this opportunity to clear something up: I did not have sex with THAT WOMAN! ...but I did let her hold my cigars.

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posted by Key on 07:02 PM | Comments (8)
» suburban blight links with: Riiiiiight.
» Parkway Rest Stop links with: An Excellent Jawja Adventure.
» Dog Snot Diaries links with: Let's set the record straight....
» Straight White Guy links with: Bloody Hell...

ATTENTION BLOGMEET ATTENDEES

This includes, but is not limited to the following:

Adam
Dax
Geoffrey
Gordon
My Suburban Date
Denny
Parkway Rest Jim
Acidman
Eric
Mamamontezz
Evil White Guy
and THE RINGMASTER

I regret to inform you that my dear friend and honey will be unable to attend...

The good news is that he must love you people, for he sends me bearing gifts for all! The following pic reveals the gifts UPS delivered to my doorstep last weekend.

I am told the mason jar contains genuine "Burns Blue, Beads Clear" East Tennessee shine, aged in the jar EIGHT years.

Sam's blog turns 1 year old at 12:01am Sunday, October 17th. He asks that we all raise a shot in celebration.

So, before you head out of town, do me a favor and go visit The Brier Patch to deliver thanks and congrats.

(BTW, I was going to be a rebel and show up with hot pink toes. However, this delivery puts me in somewhat of a quandary...)

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posted by Key on 10:24 PM | Comments (15)
» Dog Snot Diaries links with: The Great Yankee Invasion
» Gut Rumbles links with: a minor correction
» Dog Snot Diaries links with: Blogtoberfest
» suburban blight links with: La Lista:
» Mamamontezz's Mental Rumpus Room links with: Blogfest Update
» Parkway Rest Stop links with: Blogtoberfest Begins Tomorrow!
» The Brier Patch links with: Clarification

If I EVER hear Rocky Top again...

I used to like that song. I don't know if I ever will again.

I am still numb from the loss. What can I say? Greene lost his arm, Richt lost his head, and the refs liked Rocky Top.

Tennessee, you hurt me. Why the hell didn't you bring that game against Auburn instead of us? Now we gotta kick their ass.

That's all I have to say about that. (I've already spread my denial and discontent all over Rob's, Eric's and Velocimaster's comments.)

Oh, speaking of...I now officially owe my red-headed step brat a drink on Saturday. He was a good blog bro; he hasn't even attempted to rub salt in the wound, so I'll go easy on him. I won't make the "nasty concoction of my choosing" - as agreed upon - TOO evil!

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posted by Key on 08:29 PM | Comments (5)

Why Did Everybody Let This Go?

IMHO, the most infuriating quote of the evening:

KERRY: Now, for the people earning more than $200,000 a year, you're going to see a rollback to the level we were at with Bill Clinton, when people made a lot of money.

And looking around here, at this group here, I suspect there are only three people here who are going to be affected: the President, me, and, Charlie, I'm sorry, you too. [Source: Sacbee]

WTF? In other words, he's asking: Why are we even discussing this? I look around here, and I can plainly see that none of your homely asses makes anywhere near what I do. I'm clearly above all of you, yet I'm willing to humble myself and pay more taxes than you, so that I can put all of my socialist ideas into motion, gain the support of the world leaders, con them into my game, and eventually TAKE OVER THE WORLD! Now. Shut up your pathetic, penniless pie holes, and give me my damn vote. Morons.

That's what I heard, and, frankly I'm offended. I may be barely eking by in my middle-class world, but I do own a Subchapter S-Corp., which grosses over $200K a year...yet let it be known, friends that that - given taxes and overhead - by NO means, makes me wealthy. So I am in the same boat with 899,999 other small business owners whom our President is so desperately trying to protect.

As I said...infuriating. ...And big mistake. BIG. MISTAKE.

Update: I'm not alone, apparently. The guys on 640 WGST just slammed Kerry for the same quote.

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posted by Key on 03:53 PM | Comments (5)

Debate Winners - The Final Tally

Debate 1 - Kerry
Debate 2 - Bush
Debate 3 - Kerry

...just thought I'd share. The media has known already for quite some time. What? Did you think it was about content?

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posted by Key on 12:29 AM | Comments (1)

Drop a Check in the Mail

I'm going to. The address is below. Jesse has details.

Injured Marine Semper Fi Fund
825 College Blvd Suite 102
PMB 609
Oceanside, CA 92057

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posted by Key on 10:59 PM | Comments (1)

So, I'm a bum. And?

Another quiz...Shit day, couldn't write.

But get a load of this! SWEET and CARING? Whose results are these? (I left the baby bat on the sidewalk....hey, it could be rabid!)

Glucose
You are glucose. People feed off of you. You are
sweet, caring, and a source of energy for
everyone around you. You can inspire others
with your creativity and depth, and you can
keep people alive when in times of famine.
People love you...or at least the way you
taste.

Which Biological Molecule Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

(Oh yeah...saw it first at Dax's place, then Rob's.)

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posted by Key on 09:56 PM | Comments (4)
» suburban blight links with: My Lord, It's Psychic

Oh-No he Didn't!

I'm WHAT?!

Thanks Sam! (BTW, this is what the acronym generator had to say about him...)

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posted by Key on 04:52 PM | Comments (1)
» Meanderings links with: What's in a Name?
» The Brier Patch links with: Ping Test
» Random Fate links with: Since I haven't done one of these silly things in a while...

Registered Vaginas

Feminists are so charming, are they not?

Silly me, I registered as a voter.

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posted by Key on 07:42 PM | Comments (9)

L. S. WHO?

Oh, that was so immature. Sorry Christina, I couldn't help myself. (Visit her by the way. Anyone who calls me a genius can't be all bad.)

I was there, and I only heard that line a few hundred times during the third and fourth quarters. My ears are still aching from the volume of the crowd.

I told the old man that if our beloved Dawgs had used the free week to get the passing game down, we'd be set. And he said that they really needed to bring their "A" game. ...They did both.

45 to 16. Sweeeeet...

I can't even begin to describe the euphoria of the crowd. People who may have otherwise hated each other were united in Dawg basking.

I was hugged, high-fived, and even weirder still ...adopted.

The latter happened outside the restroom. The Men's and Women's rooms were a mere 30 feet apart. Try traveling that distance within a 15-foot corridor jammed to the edges with multi-directional traffic.

No problem. I can find my husband, I thought. He was wearing khaki shorts, a red UGA shirt, and a tan UGA cap. ...he and half the stadium.

So I entered the mob scene and kept my eyes peeled for tan hat wearers. I spotted one to the left, and just as I realized that it wasn't him, I felt arms circling me from the right.

About time you show up, I thought. Due to the force of the mob, the embrace tightened with a familiar confidence as I was affectionately spun around, held closely, and pushed through the crowd.

3 split-second observations:
1. I was spun while my head was still turned. Therefore, I didn't get a good look at my captor.
2. Mr. Key is not openly affectionate AT ALL, unless I demand some sort of linkage to avoid being separated. (Still, this seemed too intimate for a mostly sober Mr. Key.)
3. Why was I being turned around? Our seats were now in the opposite direction.

Oh, shit.

Somehow, I pushed back against the mob enough to remove myself from the strange embrace. Only then did I notice, that aside from the tan hat, there was absolutely NO resemblance to Mr. Key.

In that second of realization, I stared ever so briefly at this mid-forties mystery man. I must say that I was speechless. I must have looked at him as though I wanted an explanation, because he smiled broadly - sheepishly without being apologetic - and said nothing.

I guess I thought maybe he thought I was someone else. But no, apparently, that wasn't the case. More likely the beer-induced euphoria brought the motto: Lose the one your with, just grab another.

Soooo..., I turned my stunned bootie around and wedged myself back through the crowd, finding my husband at our designating meeting spot.

Game days are just weird.

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posted by Key on 12:16 AM | Comments (5)

Most Powerful Quote

Many may disagree, but I think this was the most powerful quote of the entire debate:

BUSH: "Again, I can't tell you how big a mistake I think that is, to have bilateral talks with North Korea. It's precisely what Kim Jong ll wants. It will cause the six-party talks to evaporate. It will mean that China no longer is involved in convincing, along with us, for Kim Jong ll to get rid of his weapons. It's a big mistake to do that."

Why did I pick those words?

A few reasons, but first and foremost, it was the way that he said them. Say I'm undecided. In fact, say I'm beyond undecided, say I'm clueless. Maybe I don't even know the difference between the terms bilateral and multilateral... Still I know confidence and experience when I see it. Those words were dripping with it.

President Bush wasn't campaigning when he said these words. There was an immense power in the sincerity as he spoke. I could tell that he was thinking something along the lines of, "My God, you can't be serious. Tell me you're not going to fuck things up that badly if you're elected. Please, at least take my advice on this one."

It was the voice of experience trying to get through to the voice of inexperience, someone goal-driven attempting to get through to someone driven by popularity, the leader coaching the apprentice.

What more do we need to know?

To read THE WHOLE THING, TRY HERE. If you want a few more highlights and biased commentary, I've included some in the extended entry. I left out the references to the "global test" and "grand diversion" efforts, as these have already been widely covered...

March 2009
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Key Issues

October 30, 2004

The Dogs of War

I'm In!

October 29, 2004

Bad Hair Day

Small Town Afternoon

October 28, 2004

Just One More Blogmeet Pic

Hang Up on Me, Will You?

October 26, 2004

Call Me Pimp

Me and My Lovely Date

October 25, 2004

Desegregation

Pronunciation of Iraq

The Sun Harmonizes With My Anus

October 22, 2004

PMS (Post Meet Slump)

Late Night Movies

I Need a Man

Well, At Least I Came Out Better Than the Blogfaddah

October 20, 2004

I Love This Shirt

Recently Published Photos Support Allegations of Blogmeet Misconduct

October 19, 2004

Let's Do This

October 18, 2004

I'm Back. I'm Alive.

October 13, 2004

ATTENTION BLOGMEET ATTENDEES

October 11, 2004

If I EVER hear Rocky Top again...

Why Did Everybody Let This Go?

October 08, 2004

Debate Winners - The Final Tally

October 07, 2004

Drop a Check in the Mail

So, I'm a bum. And?

Oh-No he Didn't!

October 06, 2004

Registered Vaginas

October 05, 2004

L. S. WHO?

October 01, 2004

Most Powerful Quote