Key Issues

I'm In!

This is so badge. I am actually inside Key Monroe's inner sanctum. Wow.

Velociman here. Mission? To destroy Godless Cubanistas in Paraguay by sanction of the Omega Project To provide some weekend commentary during the voluptuous Key's absence.

What is it like in here? You'd like to know, eh? Smells nice. Very nice. A hint of confederate jasmine, with a waft of magnolia here and there. Tapestries. Some very nice antiques. Other than that you must use your imaginations. This is her personal zone. I cannot comment further.

I suppose I must get down to business, although that is difficult, given the thong she encased in glass with the tiny hammer and the disclaimer IN CASE OF EMERGENCY, SHOOT YOURSELF, WAD. THESE ARE NOT FOR YOU.

Ach, well. That was meant for all of us.

Let's get down to the business at hand: tomorrow Key will be watching the Georgia-Florida game in home country, while I will be watching in the belly of the beast: Jacksonville. I must confess it is more fun to watch the game with Gator fans slavering all over you, with their impressive nose hair issues, than to be in the graces of the True Believers. The fights are better.

I called the Dawgs 24-13 on my site. I see Key as a bit more frisky, a bit more of a player: I call it 30-6 on the Key Scale. And Spurrier takes the Miami job.

I'd love to go on, peeps, but these lavender-scented sheets beckon. I must take a little nappie...