Observations by Key Monroe~~Home of Right Opinions, Cynical Viewpoints, and TMI in Hefty Doses
|E-mail: keymonroe [at] alltel [dot] net

February 16, 2005

Guns, Sex and Capitalism

For failing to devote proper attention to blogworld, including but not limited to my page, my emails, and my blogroll, I submit the following tired excuse:


Don't like that one?

How 'bout this one: Shrek doesn't like you people.

It's nothing personal. He just doesn't get it. He is a NONblogger. You know them. They're the one's who give you a HELL of a look when you try to explain how you met a really groovy friend on the friggin internet, or WHY you need a babysitter for the weekend of April 16.

We write you see. For the helluvit. On whatever. And then we bond. It's called blogging.


Yeah, whatever. Next time I'm telling the truth: We are crazed internet freaks who seek to take over the world using guns, sex and capitalism!

That's right. We promote capitalistic orgies, where only the most ambitious get head ahead!

Jeez, no wonder my husband wants me to quit. You people are sick.

Speaking of sick... no more blogging with a fever. No really, I mean it this time!

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posted by Key on 08:13 PM | Comments (9)

July 21, 2004

So Sue Me.

No not really.

Dumbasses. Litigious dumbasses.

You know, if I had no character or sense of worth, I could dream up reasons to sue people. I've pulled nasty-ass things out of my food at established restaurant chains. I've been propositioned by the president of a multi-million dollar corporation, for whom I was employed. I've been run off of the road by a nervous sixteen-year old who had just gotten his license. And I've had tenants run off owing thousands in rent.

Yet I've never sued anyone. Amazing.

I'm not saying that I never would. If I am blatantly wronged in a way that negatively impacts my family, reputation, or livelihood, and cannot be settled any other way, I'm there.

Nope, not how it's seen anymore.

I try to collect on unpaid invoices. They don't feel like paying. "Sue me," they say. Nice. "No thanks." I tell them, "I'll just put a lien on your house."

Okay, so people don't want to take it seriously. Well, I do. So...DON'T CALL MY ASS AND THREATEN TO SUE ME IF YOU DON'T MEAN IT!

Yeah, yesterday was a great day. It's not going to happen; there's no case, but it's still irritating.

Have you noticed gentle audience, that the I'm-suing-you-because-I-need-the-money type seems to be a subcategory of the I-have-no-integrity-and-can't-accept-personal-responsibility much larger group?

Key Moral to the Story: If someone drops the ball, don't pick it up and hand it to them. If you do, you must be the one who knocked it out of their hand to begin with.

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posted by Key on 07:03 PM | Comments (2)