Observations by Key Monroe~~Home of Right Opinions, Cynical Viewpoints, and TMI in Hefty Doses
|E-mail: keymonroe [at] alltel [dot] net

February 16, 2005

Guns, Sex and Capitalism

For failing to devote proper attention to blogworld, including but not limited to my page, my emails, and my blogroll, I submit the following tired excuse:


Don't like that one?

How 'bout this one: Shrek doesn't like you people.

It's nothing personal. He just doesn't get it. He is a NONblogger. You know them. They're the one's who give you a HELL of a look when you try to explain how you met a really groovy friend on the friggin internet, or WHY you need a babysitter for the weekend of April 16.

We write you see. For the helluvit. On whatever. And then we bond. It's called blogging.


Yeah, whatever. Next time I'm telling the truth: We are crazed internet freaks who seek to take over the world using guns, sex and capitalism!

That's right. We promote capitalistic orgies, where only the most ambitious get head ahead!

Jeez, no wonder my husband wants me to quit. You people are sick.

Speaking of sick... no more blogging with a fever. No really, I mean it this time!


Damn! How do I get an invite to one of those "capitalistic orgies" -- do I have to start a blog too? Now I see why there's so many bloggers out there LOL.

Posted by: John at February 16, 2005 08:23 PM

Trust me. It's even worse when your spouse has MET your blogbuddies. Then they can not only pick apart the concept, they can pick apart the individuals. Not that I give a fuck, of course.

Posted by: Velociman at February 16, 2005 09:35 PM

When the Reprobates in 2008 take over the world, I'm shipping Shrek off to the gulag. A few yars of hard labor, starvation and constant re-educarion my bring him around to our way of thinking.

If not, we'll shoot him as a terrorist.

Posted by: Acidman at February 16, 2005 10:05 PM

Fuck it, Rob. Let's shoot him now. Sorry, Key. We loves you. We just hates ogres.

Posted by: Velociman at February 17, 2005 12:34 AM

I'm picturing Velociman hunched over, looking around nervously and muttering, "Vman *hates* the ogreses....naaaaaasty ogreses...wants our precious Key...wants to *steal* our Key!"

And I don't even have a fever.

Posted by: zonker at February 17, 2005 12:39 AM

Zonk, you are so crosswises with me now. I'm gonna have you begging.

Posted by: Velociman at February 17, 2005 12:47 AM

And don't forget about us schmucks who don't blog but read 'em all the time!!!

Posted by: WarWagon at February 17, 2005 12:43 PM

Hmmm.... perhaps twould be wise to leave Shrek at the Key abode during the next meet!

(John, WW, loyal readers are MORE than welcome at our freakish meets. Yeah, c'mon...)

Posted by: Key at February 17, 2005 04:06 PM

You arent going to invite people like that Gannon / Guckert schmuck to the capitalist orgies are you?

Dirk Diggler

Posted by: werbinox at February 19, 2005 02:15 AM
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