Key Issues

Let's Do This

I'm going to attempt the blogger superlatives. Understand, this is a lengthy and time-consuming process, so if I leave you out, I still appreciate you, you just didn't do anything stupid enough to leave an impression on my shine-marinated memory. (Also, although I thoroughly enjoyed the opportunity to meet a few of the lovely wives, I granted them immunity, so as not to wrongfully associate their actions with those of their spouses...)

First and foremost, BEST DATE: Having Kelley by my side MADE the trip. We have an uncanny means of easy communication that bypasses the typical cosmetic foreplay required with most female relationships. If I ever switch sides, I'm calling her.

Dax is BEST ALL-AROUND PARTY GUY. He wasn't sleeping in or passing out, rather he exhibited a constant ready and willingness to party with anyone who felt the urge to be subjected to his disarming grin and even more lethal apple brandy. (Oh, and Dax can shake the hell out of a red-headed slut. ...just ask Eric.)

Speaking of, poor Eric was a victim of apple-brandicide. It took over his body, making him both bipolar and bisexual, but I believe that my step-brat, in all his hair-pulling and teasing glory, was THE MOST FUN ...IMHO. Some who were smacked upside the head by him may disagree, but as Eric is a firm believer in faith healing, I'm confident that he was just trying to exorcise the head-spinning, people-biting demon out of Mr. Evil.

Again, speaking of... Mr. Evil is actually the LEAST EVIL. Great smile, great guy, easy conversationalist, AND I've recently discovered his blog and already thoroughly enjoy it.

Parkway Rest Jim gets the title of CRAZIEST BASTARD for reasons that have been explained far and wide at this point. He and Eric also provided the MOST entertainment; I can only imagine how talented these guys are when their speech ISN'T slurred. (Incidentally, Jim also had with him a MOST impressive bodyguard, which would explain why nobody messed with Jim.)

Mama had THE MOST ARDUOUS JOURNEY. No one-liner sum up; just go read the account!

As for OUR LEADER...tough call. We were definitely living under a Kimocracy. I only defied him once. I led the rebellion indoors at an eating establishment, refusing to dine outside in the cold. I paid. I was forced to spend the remainder of the evening on a freezing balcony, waiting on his every need, and fanning him with some giant palm frond freak of nature that the Yankees immediately identified with and felt compelled to harvest. So, with Velociman I'm torn between MOST CONTROLLING and MOST ARRESTING....kinda like the arrogance of Tommy Lee Jones, ya just don't know whether to be pissed off or turned on.

Rob was a bit of a recluse this time around, therefore we didn't get in our fill of heated debates and bullshit wars. The most animated I saw my little Yosemite Sam was when I ratted Kim and Kelley out for their plans to throw his comatose ass in the river. Life sprung into his limbs as he bounced up and donned his holster. "Let 'em try that now!" he sang. Crazy bastard. So, I'm going a little soft when I say that what I enjoy most about Acidman is that he has the BEST LAUGH. Indescribable, but really endearing, probably the most humble sound the man ever makes....and it in no way resembles the "BWAHAAHAHA" on his blog!

Also, Rob keeps the BEST company. And a meet just wouldn't be a meet without Rick and Georgia. Even though Georgia doesn't blog, I think I adopted her as my blogmom a long time ago.

I was the MOST EAGER TO MEET Geoffrey. AND HOW it pains me to admit that, because he is also the BIGGEST pain in the ass. Despite that, our political ideals are so close that if I was both a sophomoric male and a caustic Yankee, I think we'd be indistinguishable. (Geoff, might I also mention that I was kind enough NOT to discuss the ingredients of my killer nachos while YOUR ass was laid up in the bed hung over!)

Meanwhile, Gordon is simply the NICEST GUY. He has smiling blue eyes, and is very friendly. ...and he has a beautiful family.

I also thoroughly enjoyed the time with Kenny and Barbara; and Ken, your blog is MOST missed!

Zonker is a newbie to me, so I haven't gotten to know him well enough to label him; all I really know is that he is friendly, if a little shy. Zonker, enjoy your immunity while it lasts.

...and Denny...We need to talk about your staying power. So what if you were MOST inebriated and MOST naked before I even got there? By leaving, you deprived me of the opportunity to label you myself. You were MOST missed!

Oh, I also met my SHYEST reader. Chip, I command you to comment!

Whew...that was just like reliving it. I'm going to need a moment to recover. If I left anyone one out, please, bless me out in my comments and I'll update accordingly.