Observations by Key Monroe~~Home of Right Opinions, Cynical Viewpoints, and TMI in Hefty Doses
|E-mail: keymonroe [at] alltel [dot] net

July 20, 2006

Tales From A Techtard

Fifteen thousand dollars later...

That's right. That's how much our biz spent four years ago to buy all new machines, and wire and network those machines. Being techtards, we hired it all out, and because my husband hired personal friends, we very likely took it up the butt on that bid.

And here we are, 4 years later and the biz is dissolved (due to Shrek's premature mid-life crisis), so I looted the office, bringing home anything useful. You know, fax machine, post-it notes, the newest of the computers and our poor, neglected office pet, a mini-catfish, shark-looking fella.

My machine is in the basement, on the floor, unplugged. The one I am using now belongs to the Priss. Yesterday I deleted 500MGs of crap that she "accidentally" downloaded. Uh-huh...

Even such simple things as these periodic cleansings test my range of tech-capabilities, so who the hell knows if I deleted something important.

Anyway, 4 months of pictures finally burned to disk, I decided to download Photoshop. You know... So that I can retaliate when certain peeps make me out to look like Olive Oil.

I was teased for 18 minutes. Oh, it pretended to download. But in the end... Nope. Not happening. Wouldn't give up the goods.

Know why?? Because this stinking computer can't find the network! Well... That would be because we left the stinking network when we looted the office. It is now 12 miles away. We at home now!

So... I tried logging off. Cancelling the "log on the network" screen, and only entering the password for the windows log-on.

Got the same error message.

Grrrr... This possessed machine knows I'm a techtard. I think it's just fucking with me.

All that to say. I can't post my Savannah pics now. They are over a meg, and I can't even download the free Kodak crap.

Now, all you smarty-smart smarts out there who have known for the last 5 paragraphs how to fix my prob, you may leave your clue below.

posted by Key on 08:37 PM | Comments (147) | TrackBack (0)
Comments

Just woke up, so I can't get my head around it.

What Operating system are you running?

Obviously you got online, when it went to start the download did it prompt you for a place to save the file?

What Internet Browser are you running?

You can email me if you want to.

Posted by: Richard at July 21, 2006 07:16 AM

Wish I could help you, but my skills lie elsewhere. Took it up the butt? You'll rue that phrase, I fear.

Posted by: Velociman at July 21, 2006 08:16 PM

Velociman can't be fucking with my back door woman...Bwahahahah!!! I'll kill his ass dead.

Seriously...save one of those dogs for a firewall...although, I'll have to put an operating system on it that is named after a bunch of guys with no nuts.

Posted by: Yabu at July 21, 2006 10:06 PM

Key, your story doesn't give enough info to troubleshoot the problem, but if you want, I can give ya a call and walk you through it. My suspicion is your former work machine just needs to be "taught" to look for your home Internet connection instead of the proxy on the old network.

Sound like Greek? That's why it'd be easier to talk ya through it. Drop me an email and let me know if you're around tomorrow morning (Saturday)

Paul

Posted by: Light & Dark at July 21, 2006 11:46 PM

"Took it up the butt"

Vman has it pegged... google is gonna love ya!

Wish I could help you out, Key, but I am the king of all techtardedness. I'm afraid that I could only succeed in destroying your machines.

Posted by: That 1 Guy at July 22, 2006 11:23 PM

Hey T1G, if you do a search for "Key took it up the butt", it's number three. Just clicky a few times, it'll be right to number one.

Posted by: Richard at July 24, 2006 03:57 AM

R.I.P Dog Snot Diaries

Posted by: elmo at July 25, 2006 12:05 AM

Oh. My. Gawd.

That's friggin great. Google already had me pegged for a back door girl, and NOW I'm taking it up the butt...!

Jes Dayum.

Posted by: Key at July 25, 2006 12:10 PM

So we are both techtards, I am happy to find a soul sister...

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