Observations by Key Monroe~~Home of Right Opinions, Cynical Viewpoints, and TMI in Hefty Doses
|E-mail: keymonroe [at] alltel [dot] net

April 28, 2004

I wasn't gonna do it...

This is a horrible assignment! It's like trying to pick three bridesmaids when you have two cousins, two childhood friends, three best friends from high school and a college room-mate.

So, yeah, I had eight bridesmaids. What of it?

Okay, stuck on a deserted island with a bunch of bloggers...what a friggin nightmare! I mean, really...It's one thing to fantasize about ending up on a deserted island with someone of the opposite sex whom you have no chance of hooking up with any other way...but bloggers?!

We'd go insane.

But, here goes...

I'm hesitant to include this witty hotty for fear of going unnoticed in her presence, but uh, we ARE on a deserted island and, hey, she knows how to make soap...

This woman is WONDERFUL to talk to, and she won't give me hell for flirting my ass off with all the marooned males, who - huh, look at that - just so happen to outnumber the marooned females.

(These two would give me hell for flirting my ass off, so they get to stay home.)

My blogfaddah would have to be there. I have a feeling he'd be the ultimate beach bum, possibly the only one on the blogroll who could actually come to enjoy such a lifestyle. (He'd make every attempt to be incestuous, but my bro would be there too, and he'd have my back.)

As long as I'm inviting family, I might as well include the red-headed step brat.

And I'll be needing a smartass...tough call. Kim or Denny?

I'm convinced the southern gentleman would be absolutely miserable in such an environment, so obviously, he has to be there.

Sam? Sam, I hate to take you away from your lovely wife. No, I don't. You are SO there!

And I'd be willing include Mr. Francy Pants just to have the opportunity to meet him...and that goes for Jesse as well, whom I desperately need to add to the blogroll.

Geoffrey is there. He doesn't get to leave the cave. He's my manservant.

I'm leaving Jim at home. He has a boat. His job is to find my ass and bring me home before the internet-deprived bloggers go mad and start killing each other, or worse, begin reproducing.

posted by Key on 01:21 AM | Comments (24)
» A Single Southern Guy In America links with: An Afternoon At The Mountain
» The Brier Patch links with: I'm Downtown With This
» Velociworld links with: Desert Islands
» Random Fate links with: Answers to the "three questions"
» suburban blight links with: Holla!
» A Single Southern Guy In America links with: Fraternization

I'm game. Not hunting type game, mind you. Being an alternate is tough, though. I may have to take out Denny now.

Posted by: Velociman at April 28, 2004 02:37 AM

Naw. The hell with Kim. Take me. First off, you can outrun me, and second off if Rob gets fresh, I'll beat the crap out of him with one of my crutches. And when he's not being fresh, I play a pretty mean guitar and he and I can serenade you.

Posted by: Denny at April 28, 2004 03:37 AM

I'm downtown with you sweetie! No Doubt!!

Posted by: Sam at April 28, 2004 03:59 AM

Key - I am honored. Flattered. I will follow you to any island. As far as the soap goes, it's like I always say -- ya gotta know dirty before ya understand clean.

PS: Kim, do you notice the trend where people keep putting us together? I say we not disappoint.

Posted by: Anna at April 28, 2004 10:06 AM

I want to be cooridinator of the Friday Night Orgies. Ever been laid on a pile of palm fronds?

Posted by: Acidman at April 28, 2004 01:19 PM

"Mr. Francy Pants"????

Hey, just because your jealous that I get to live in Europe on someone else's nickel doesn't mean you have to go name callin'!!!!!

Besides, I'm pretty handsome in a "boy next door" sort of way, not a "Fancy Pants" or prancing "Francy Pants" at all...


Posted by: Jack at April 28, 2004 10:22 PM

Heh, anyone here like Rum Runners?

New batch coming up.. Key, go warsh your glass out. Don't wanna muix Gin wish rum now dowe.....

Posted by: Jesse at April 28, 2004 10:50 PM

Hurt me, baby.

Posted by: Geoffrey at April 28, 2004 10:59 PM

I know I'm not a blogger, bur can I come too?

Posted by: Barbie at April 28, 2004 11:05 PM

...I guess so. Sam would probably be pitiful without you anyway. ; )

If we're drinking, I'll take a merlot or anything frozen.

Posted by: Key at April 29, 2004 12:29 AM

I'm with Anna here, Key. I know she would not make me an alternate. Do you mind if we carry on a torrid Kabuki mating ritual in your comments section?

The good news: I've done the Satyricon thing, and if I'm not mistaken Anna would be quite cool with a third party. Even if one of them is an alternate.

By the way: at least I put up a semblance of Velociman. Where are the Key pics? Acidman tells me... well, forget what Acidman tells me.

Posted by: Velociman at April 29, 2004 02:01 AM

yes key, where are the pictures? Must have photos. Must see this magnificent as... er Acidman said you have a nice, er, um, how deep is this hole getting?


Posted by: Jesse at April 29, 2004 03:36 AM

I posted a pic! Remember the snow pic?

(Don't listen to Acidman. His vision was blurred the only time he's ever seen me in person. Amazingly enough, he is much too kind.)

And would you guys get over this alternate crap?!

I want you both there, okay? I didn't make these rules about limiting it to 10. Otherwise, it'd be a nice little society of bloggers, including everyone on the blogroll, and, yes, even the koolaid drinkers.

Yes, I am jealous, Jack, and, yes, I will hurt you, Geoffrey.

Posted by: Key at April 29, 2004 03:05 PM

Didn't see the snow pics, where are they? Must have photos, must have photos.

Posted by: Jesse at April 29, 2004 07:37 PM

I'm game. When's this shipwreck or whatever? I need to know what kind of clothes to bring...

And Key, flirt away, girfriend! You know I love it. ;)

Posted by: kelley at April 30, 2004 02:57 AM

While I may not have the last word, I can assure you, I have the definitive word!

Key, just e-mail me the GPS coordinates of that island, and I'm already halfway there.

The rest of you can suffer...SUFFER!, I say!

I'll have room for but one passenger, and she's the hostess of this fair blog.


Sloop New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim at April 30, 2004 04:10 AM

...Key, baby, thanks for the invite.. only thing is, that's two people now who think Velociman, Geoffrey, and I should all be on the same island.. what an interesting combination..

Posted by: Eric at April 30, 2004 04:45 PM

Enough talking.

When do we leave?

Posted by: Geoffrey at May 3, 2004 01:08 AM

Oh, I gotta make it happen?

I thought this was a chance occurrence. Fate. Somehow we all book the same cruise and end up in the only lifeboat to wash up on a deserted island.

Posted by: Key at May 3, 2004 01:25 AM

...but I LIKE your attitude. ; )

Posted by: Key at May 3, 2004 01:25 AM

You don't want me there. I'd build myself a man-harem.

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