Key Issues

Have a double... but use this recipe!

That sounds wonderful, Willie. Can you just email me one? ...the drink, not the recipe. ; )

Bummer. You may use my FARTHELLCOCKPISSDAMN oath if it makes you feel better. Just rinse it off before you return it.

I have to rinse it?

Why? My tongue is clean. (It's my evil fingers that typed that title!)

That sucks, I'm sorry. :(

Your cursage is close to mine; I use fuckshithelldamn.

Poor baby. Just come here and put your head in my lap and I'll commisserate with you during your time of grief.

Yeah, I KNOW that I'm not wearing any pants. I commisserate better that way.

Dear Key:

I'm in the throes of EXACTLY THE SAME THING. I restored my home after a housefire four years ago; it doesn't matter that it's NEW, according to the county - he's still freaking out and wants EVERY PIECE OF PAPER EVER DONE on the issue, plus warranties of every stripe and manner.

If he backs out, I'm taking the sign off the front lawn and telling my redneck neighbor that he may kill trees on his own property to park his tin-box-on-wheels, but he'll NEVER kill my spirit.

So there.

Best,

-Will

On the other hand, my house here in Palo Alto, [that I paid $36,000 for] would sell for $750,000 as is, or $800,000 if it burned to the ground. Of course, they pay that to live next to me and if I sold they wouldn't, but go figure.