Key Issues

You're gonna need more than ammo. Bring a BIG GUN or edible panties. I like to play with both.

1. What's the most expensive thing you've ever stolen?
**Five Dollar Bill
2. Have you ever run from the police?
**No
3. Have you ever gone to church hung over?
**No
4. What is the most embarrassing thing you can admit to having done?
**I rear ended a police bomb squad truck.
5. And the one you can't admit to?
**Can't think of any :)

.. no more talk of spanking, though... please.. I'm just now starting to push the whole episode to the back of my mind...

1. A kiss.
2. Yes.
3. Yes, and I've also attended drunk, midnight mass, Christmas eve, home from college.
4. Caught at the office with my pants down (literally) in the throws of passion with my gf at the time.
5. I still can't admit to it, maybe in another ten years.

1. A $20 bill - a guy I didn't much like dropped it on the ground. I didn't say a word. After he turned the corner, I snagged it and spent it, in a low dive with evil companions.

2. Nope - can't outrun Motorola.

3. I've gone everywhere hung over.

4. Managed to fall off my ship into the harbor while in the throws of #3 above. The XO was not amused. My alleged friends had a bad case of whooping laugh.

5. I absolutely do not admit to ever supporting, approving, or voting for an actively practicing midget tri-sexual Democrat. Honest.

Maybe I'll elaborate at some point, but here are my nutshell answers:

1. $60 swimsuit from Rich's, age 15 (shamefully, my friends and I were repeat offenders.)
2. Yes, on foot, also age 15
3. Again, shamefully, that would be an affirmative, age 16...pretty much that whole year.
4. So many to choose from...The most recent being at my class reunion. I kept trying to set my girlfriend up with a guy who everyone else knew was gay. (I wondered why I kept getting nervous smiles; shit, I thought he'd just moved to New York and bought a turtle-neck.)
5. Too embarrassing, can't tell. (Maybe later.)

1. Couple grand on the street.

2. Yes, on several occasions.

3. Many times

4. Rule #1 - Never, ever, put that in writing.

5. See #4

Dayum Sayum!

1. Not sure how much does an M60 machine gun cost?
2. Nope, too lazy.
3. Of course, and to my own wedding.
4. Naked outside my first wifes trailer.
5. I was drunk and hope it was just a bad dream.

Alright, I'll play.

1. Someone's wife.

2. Run?! Hell, I could barely walk.

3. Doesacoonwalkalog? Oh, I mean, yeah.

4. Getting pulled over by a cop who saw me making water on some bushes behind a closed gas station.

5. This one time, at band camp...

Disclaimer: I cannout vouch for the veacity of these answers. I cannot because I was inebriated. Or wished I was.

1. My ex husbands truck

2. yes

3. I not only attended, but I was the featured singer at a revival. I had to practically lay on the pulpit to keep from falling over.

4. Dallas, karaoke disco bar, 2 best friends, many shots of gold. Sang Killing me Softly (badly) only to discover much later that the entire upper management of Wal-Mart (my customer @ the time) were sitting in the back corner of the bar. The next morning they all came up to our booth at the show singing a sappy version of same song. I still hear about it.

5. Not ready to tell those (yes, more than one) yet.

1. The *other* battalion commander's jeep.

2. Nope. I *was* the police.

3. Church? Since I quit going at 14, and didn't start drinking 'til I met SWWBO (related, but not the way you're thinking), well, it just ain't happened.

4. Told a print journalist sports writer about my 'lucky shorts' while a high school wrestler. (Hey, I still won the state championship - prolly 'cuz everybody was laughing at me)

5. See Hook. Probably for similar reasons.