Observations by Key Monroe~~Home of Right Opinions, Cynical Viewpoints, and TMI in Hefty Doses
|E-mail: keymonroe [at] alltel [dot] net

August 24, 2004

Co-Ed Prisons

Great idea, no?

Okay, hear me out.

First of all, it's ridiculous to separate by sex with the intention of preventing sexual activity. This only prevents heterosexual activity.

So, why should we put them together and let 'em have a good time? Because there might just be something in it for us...

Basic requirements for transfer into co-ed prison:
1. No one who has been found guilty of murder or sex crimes is eligible.

2. All transferees must work for a minimum of forty hours per week in order to offset prison expenses. (Accommodations are a little nicer here.)

3. Although measures will be taken in an attempt to prevent such occurrences, all transferees must sign a disclosure statement acknowledging risks of rape or brutality. This provides immunity only for the prison, not the violator, who will be banned from co-ed Eden.

4. All transferees must become permanently, surgically sterilized. No exceptions. There will be no babies conceived in this prison, nor will prisoners be procreating once released, unless they are responsible enough to secure the funds or the insurance necessary, either for a reversal or for an in-vitro procedure.

Okay! Let's put this plan into play, and lemme see the prison stats twenty years from now. ...bet they drop.

My inference is just wrong, isn't it? I mean, just because mom & dad are losers, that doesn't mean Jr. will be...


I still bet the stats will be lower in the next generation. And I don't wanna hear any selective breeding crap. Given that this is voluntary surrender of procreating rights, any controversy would imply that these people are too stupid to make decisions for themselves.

Now who's being wrong?

Bottom line is I've seen too many children bounce in an out of foster care, then back in again because mom and dad can't stay out of prison. I say sterilize mom and dad, put them in the same cell, and let them live happily ever after.

Yeah, we'd be paying the bulk of their room, board and medical expenses, but we wouldn't be paying for Junior's!

Call it what you will. I call it thinking ahead.

posted by Key on 09:47 PM | Comments (11)
ยป Gut Rumbles links with: she asked for it

I could never figure out while they didn't just dope the prisoners in their food to prevent erections, but I think it's because prison administrators use rape as a control device. As for the ACLU, is there a civil right to a woodie?

Posted by: Velociman at August 25, 2004 12:26 AM

I don't know, Key - the problem I see is that a lot of those guys in prison have children by multiple women.

There are still many more men in jails than women, and the women in jail tend to be there because they have done violence against people.

The guys in jail, who have committed non-violent crimes have enough problems - throw jealousy over women into the mix, and they might become violent. I would prefer they not be given that temptation.

Maybe it's because I live in "Prison City, USA" (Leavenworth, Kansas), but I just don't think it's a very good idea.

Posted by: Beth at August 25, 2004 01:14 AM

Oh, it'd be a clusterfuck! I just wonder if it would be worth it in the long run, since these guys wouldn't be fathering any more children with multiple women...they wouldn't be fathering any more children at all...


Posted by: Key at August 25, 2004 03:15 PM

The problem with creative ideas for uncreative situations is that the guidelines you require (sterilization, non-murderous felons, etc.) always get diluted or eliminated over the long run.

Income taxes, social security, and pile of other disasterous "fixes" were originated with a pile of requirements that don't exist today.

Also, the biggest threat to the women wouldn't be the hard cases but their former bitch punks who'd be out in the cold with the arrival of "front bum" prisoners.

Posted by: johnnyknuckles at August 26, 2004 05:37 AM

Dear Key:

You don't go far enough.

Procreation: It's not just for prison anymore. The reality is that we are, as a society, supporting a LOT of marginally-useful people who have no more concern for society or themselves than the Great Unwashed of the middle ages.


-- There are 6B (that's 'billion'; with EIGHT zeroes) people on the planet.

-- The uneducated breed at a higher rate than The Rest Of Us.

-- The Third World breed at a faster rate than that.

-- North Americans use 300% MORE resources than their Third World counterparts.

Conclusion: Breeding, in order to prevent the inevitable, should be BY LICENSE ONLY. The Chinese have the problem figured out -- their methods are Draconian - however; we'll have to implement a similar system worldwide if we're going to prevent catastrophe.

One child until the problem solves itself through attrition. Otherwise, we're knee-deep in people by 2040.

Sleep well!



Posted by: Will at August 26, 2004 04:19 PM

I'm telling you this could work!

It would still be prison. I'm not talking about mobs of nekkid inmates piling up for an orgy!

There would be designated recreation time. Room time would have to be signed for and earned. Meaning 1) work before play and 2)if both parties sign for a room, it must be consensual.

Procreation by license only will never fly in a free society, BUT people who are irresponsible usually land themselves in prison at some point... For the price of a little snip-snip, they can go to a co-ed country club prison. (We know this person is irresponsible and doesn't consider the consequences of his actions, so whatdya think he's gonna do?)

This could possibly eliminate the need for any other control methods anyway.

I'm telling you, EVERY child that has come through my house as a foster child has had at least one parent who was incarcerated at some point. ...One "mom" was pregnant in jail.

Wouldn't it be nice if these situations could be prevented?

Posted by: Key at August 26, 2004 06:46 PM

i don't get your solution to the problem you state. (i do agree with beth,though)

the problem is the children getting bounced around. the problem is you think that because junior is exposed to the life of an ex con there are to become a con?

aren't the co-ed prisoners still going to get paroled and/or serve their time and be back in juniors life? no matter how much you improve or modify prisons it is still prison.

are you basically advocating for a return to eugenics? what am i missing?

Posted by: lynne at August 26, 2004 08:14 PM

One problem: The vast majority of Federal prisoners are married or in a common-law marriage. I don't think this "promotion" of incarcerated sexuality would do much for their family relationships and obligations back home.

Posted by: Timbre at September 5, 2004 05:09 PM

...in co-ed prison they would get a little more quality time with the spouse.

Reminder: It's not a disorganized orgy. (The when, where and with whom would be carefully orchestrated.)

Posted by: Key at September 7, 2004 03:13 PM

Hmmmmm....3 to 5 years locked in a 10x10 cell with my wife.


Christmas, you are a sick, cruel woman.

Posted by: Anton at September 8, 2004 01:22 PM

My comment on this is that I am looking for a prison that is co-ed for a project I am doing for class at sacamento city college and it is a corrections class we have to do a prison from the ground up. So the ideas that some people have of being cut may be a little extreme.

So why have you come up with the idea of being cut when there is a simple way of doing this you can still have a co-ed prison but this is a low security prison and the prisoners are low risk offenders no murders is good and the idea of no sex offenders is even better. But what about the prisoners who have been but there because they cheated of taxes do they still get cut and are deprived of there sex life with there wife or girlfriend do you think that would be fair for them if they still wanted to have children. Why not just give them something in the food that stops them from even wanting sex while they are there.

The idea of stopping sex all together is going to be hard but you can put a stop to it by having them in diffrent areas and diffrent times for activitys and rec activitys and have diffrent areas for this kind of thing to take place like diffrent floors that prisoners are housed.

lets look at diffrent ways to have a co-ed prison and I have read through the responces to this and I think that you are on to something for the scum of socity but there are ways to do things and a right way and a wrong way to handle this kind of thing so lets do something about this kind of thing but lets come up with something that would work for a free socity.

Thanks for listening to me about this and I would like to hear more views of this please help me with other views and what you feel on what I have said. Because I have a midterm due on the 16th of march 2005 and need some ideas fast of stats of gurads needed and staffing issues this is a california prison and it is a low security prison holding 6 cell blocks of 60 prisoners each per block it has a 1 to 6 ratio on correctional officers to inmates and it also has staffing but I am not sure what staffing issues I should have I know a medical staff but I am not sure if I should have gounds staff or have the inmates do most of the work like cooking staff and all that kind of stuff.

Please send me your views on this

Posted by: drkngl at March 9, 2005 07:46 PM
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