Naming the Daddies
I decided that my blogchildren need daddies. Link love is great from a mom, but nothing can replace the gentle prodding of a father figure.
My oldest was begat as a result of incest. He's gotten older now, outgrown his mom, and is threatening to turn his back on blogworld. That ungrateful punk. I think his daddy needs to kick his ass for making his mama cry.
My next little darling is plugging along quite nicely, and now that I've had the opportunity to watch him grow, I'm pretty certain who his daddy is. This would be Sam's work. Similar writing styles, even similar eyes...check it! (Sorry Sam, I was going to keep up the whole "godfaddah" front, but it's just too painfully obvious at this point.)
There is only one on the roll who would even consider fathering my liberal baby. So, Jack, smoke 'em if ya got 'em. This one's yours. (Honey, daddy's vacationing in Paris right now, but I'm sure he'll show you some link love as soon as he returns.)
Well, those are my boys.
But I really want a fourth, and I could use a girl this time. I got nuttin in the oven, so I went to the playground and blognapped the most adorable child I could find.
Queenie is still a newborn, but she found her way into this world without me. Still, if she'll have me, I'd like to claim her. The child doesn't hold back. She can be hot, cruel, articulate, cutting...but always LMAO entertaining. Velocigod, as I know how you love and adore the ranting capabilities of the fairer sex, I hope you will join me in my endeavor to raise this adorable child.
Okay, daddies...off ya go. Time to pay your child support. (I take cash, check, or money order, payable to K-e-y....kidding. Just show your babies some link love, 'kay?)
posted by Key on
07:45 PM
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Comments (27)
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The Brier Patch links with:
Naming Names
»
Velociworld links with:
Unplanned Parenthood, I Called It
»
Primal Purge links with:
Don't disappoint me... hit her hard
»
Straight White Guy links with:
Judgment Day
»
Ellis Island links with:
We Need Queenie!
Thank you, momma, for telling me who my daddy is, after all these long years. Daddy, can I have a pony?
I appreciate the sweet words, boo. You are far, far too kind to me.
You ain't MY daughter!!! You don't look a THING like me!!!
Whatevah, Blogfaddah... ; )
Already with the pony. Sure Bonnie Blue. See if you can jump yon hedge for Rhett Daddy.
Ooh, Daddy, that was cooold. Brr. Momma, does he just have a thing against bastard children, or is it something I said?
In the case of either, can Acidman be my daddy? Velocipater is cool and all, but...well, I need to be loved.
Running away from home already? We haven't even experienced corporal discipline yet. I'll show you the love.
He loves you honey. I'll beat his ass if he doesn't.
(Besides, I'm sure he's hoping you'll fare better than Bonnie Blue did that last time.)
I'm just a tough love Daddy.
Wow, a blogdaddy! Do I get to demand that he read books to me for long stretches, the way my kid does? (I'll wait until he gets back from France.) =-)
I'm sure if more links will help--I've got a bad feeling that my blog is demonstrating just why politics is usually discussed along with chair-throwing and lurid insults. When you take out the personal remarks, political arguments aren't nearly as much fun to read. ;-)
Key you always put a spring in me step. But your devoted son has a tendancy to get blown off course by the favonian zephyrs of the Pacific. I have a plan, but.... I need direction.
No spense accounts, or lunch discounts!
My Grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle. Henny Youngman (1906 - 1998)
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