Observations by Key Monroe~~Home of Right Opinions, Cynical Viewpoints, and TMI in Hefty Doses
|E-mail: keymonroe [at] alltel [dot] net

December 03, 2004

I So Should Not Post This

This is a secret communication formula.

Once learned, you may communicate with your friends by simply using a number.

For example:

"Hey, Larry, how are you doing today?"

"Ah Joe, not so good. I'd say an 84 easy."

"That sucks Lar. After last night, I'm sittin pretty on an eighteen."

"Good for you Joe! Now, get the fuck outta here. Jerk."

Here's the formula: ((1 + A + B)/(1 + C)) X 5

A = # of times this week you've had sex with someone even though you really weren't into it.

B = # of times you would have had sex this week had the right person been ready, willing, able, and in your bed. (Although this is the fantasy variable, try to keep it real. This isn't how often you think about it; this is how many times you would have been both willing and able within a seven day period.)

C = # of times this week you've actually had mindnumbing sex with the person of your dreams.

Now, do the math.

For those of you who are rusty, allow me to assist you. Add A + B + 1, then divide that sum by the sum of 1 + C. Then multiply by 5.

Your product is a percentage reflecting your level of sexual frustration. Under 10%, either you're living a fairy tale or you have no libido. 10-30%, oversexed. 30-60%, average. 60-100%, sucks to be you.

(Exceeding 100% is possible under extreme circumstances, although more likely such a phenomenon results from lying embellishing on part B.)

posted by Key on 09:27 PM | Comments (13)
» The LLama Butchers links with: The Llamas present the really new math
» Meanderings links with: New Math
» Velociworld links with: It Apparently Sucks to be Me
» Gut Rumbles links with: i don't do math
Comments

I hit 107%, and Daddy don't lie.

But I do lie. I hit zero, because letter C never happened.

Posted by: Velociman at December 3, 2004 09:46 PM

Denominator is 1 + C. Don't knock the formula; it accounts for all...

Posted by: Key at December 3, 2004 10:07 PM

That'd be a five.

I know, I know. Don't laugh. My self-esteem is a gutterball.

Posted by: Queenie at December 4, 2004 12:50 AM

Finally! That elusive "10" eludes me no more! heh

Posted by: Barbara at December 4, 2004 06:07 AM

that reminds me...i almost had sex last night...then my hand got a cramp in it...

heh heh heh...

Posted by: mr. helpful at December 4, 2004 12:02 PM

By the way, Velociman, 95 I would have believed...105 even, but if multiplying by 5 is the LAST part of the equation, how the hell did you get 107??

You have to actually work the equation. You can't just make up a number!

Work with me here. ; )

Posted by: Key at December 4, 2004 01:49 PM

What does it mean when I keep ending up with #DIV/0!...?

But I think with liberal application of "The Cream" Swineherd should be scoring quite nicely in a week or two.

I believe this formula should be shared with Stephen Hawking... What's that E-mc^2? Mere tiddly-winks compared to the power of Key's formula.

Posted by: torchpraise at December 4, 2004 02:01 PM

Just seeing if you were paying attention.

Sincerely,

Mr. I wrote a 5-3-5 haiku at Protein Wisdom.

Posted by: Velociman at December 4, 2004 02:02 PM

hmmm 25, strange exactly the number of years, since I had mind numbing sex.

Posted by: James Old Guy at December 6, 2004 10:44 AM

I figured out V-Man's score. A=0; B=20.4 (Note: he gets a 2% bonus for thinking about having sex with Tiffany Amber); and C=0.
Answer: (1+0+20.4/1+0)x5=107 Therefore, it "really" sucks to be you. N'est pas?

Posted by: Fightin Tiger at December 6, 2004 11:41 AM

Way to go Tiger! I think you are the ONLY one who has this formula figured out!

Either that, or we have some seriously sagging libidos here... ; )

Posted by: Key at December 6, 2004 11:58 AM

Does it count as "mindnumbing sex with the person of your dreams" if you were really drunk and don't really remember but it seemed like it at the time?

Posted by: eric at December 8, 2004 12:14 AM

fblog1 -
hteen2 -
pteen3 -
sanal5 -
adultassociate -
adult associate -
adultassociate -
britneylightspeed -
britney lightspeed -
britneylightspeed -
castingcouchteens -
casting couch teens -
castingcouchteens -
casting couch teens -
ericalightspeed -
erica lightspeed -
ericalightspeed -
lesbianrecruiters -
lesbian recruiters -
lesbianrecruiters -
pimpmyblackteen -
pimp my black teen -
pimpmyblackteen -
pimp my black teen -
naughtyamericanvip -
naughty american vip -
naughtyamericanvip -
naughty american vip -
teenciara -
teen ciara -
teenciara -
herfirstdp -
college wild parties -
giantsblackmeatwhitetreat -
movie access -
wildfucktoys -
movie flux -
orgy heaven -
stinkfillers -
sweetbaylee -
orgyheaven -
petitestars -
petite stars -
pureinterracial -
his first facial -
hisfirstfacial -
wild fuck toys -
movieflux -
pure interracial -
trannypursuit -
tranny pursuite -
truly tranny -
trulytranny -
allnaturaljugs -
all natural jugs -
anarchyarchives -
anarchy archives -
his first facial -
hisfirstfacial -
movieaccess -
bang bros network -
college wild parties -
giants black meat white treat -
her first dp -
collegewildparties -
blackmanspov -
black mans pov -
projectmilk -
sexyshemalesfrombrazil -
shockingtranny -
realarizonaamateurs -
thugsandjuggs -
thugs and juggs -
barebackbottoms -
bareback bottoms -
bikinibanger -
bikini banger -
bangbrosnetwork -
bang bros network -
girlygangbang -
interracialsite -
movieaccess -
wildfucktoys -
collegewildparties -
wild fuck toys -
itnerracial site -
stinkfillers -
girly gangbang -
anarchyarchives -
bangbrosnetwork -
blacksonboys -
gagsluts -
skin vip -
skinvip -
wetwildandwasted -
real arizona amaterus -
movieflux -
orgyheaven -
realarizonaamateurs -
thugsandjuggs -
thugs and juggs -
bangmywhiteass -
bang my white ass -
giants black meat white treat -
giantsblackmeatwhitetreat -
bangmywhiteass -
pickyourpoison -
sexyshemalesfrombrazil -
sexy shemales from brazil -
shocking tranny -
shockingtranny -
bikinibanger -
bikini banger -
skinvip -
trannypursuit -
trulytranny -
wet wild and wasted -
wetwildandwasted -
blacksonboys -
blacks on boys -
her first dp -
girlygangbang -
hardcoremegapass -
hardcore mega pass -
herfirstdp -
gag sluts -
gagsluts -
interracialsite -
interracial site -
stink fillers -
sweet baylee -
sweetbaylee -
giants black meat white treat -
giantsblackmeatwhitetreat -
hardcoremegapass -
fastsize -
sizegenetics -
vigrx -
bangboat -
tinysblackadventures -
xxxproposal -
boobexamscam -
realbutts -
milfseeker -
teensforcash -
cumfiesta -
gayblinddatesex -
teenybopperclub -
realitypornpass -
wwtfab -
hisfirsthugecock -
bignaturals -
twinksforcash -
gangbangsquad -
herfirstanalsex -
herfirstbigcock -
herfirstasstomouth -
ispycameltoe -
mrchewsasianbeaver -
baitbus -
pleasebangmywife -
pumpthatass -
seehersquirt -
thebigswallow -
captainstabbin -
seehersquirt -
milfseeker -
bangbus -
justfacials -
backseatbangers -
teensforcash -
gangbangsquad -
herfirstbigcock -
hisfirstgaysex -
mrskin -
justfacials -
herfirstasstomouth -
sexsearch -
karasxxx -
milfhunter -
hisfirsthugecock -
mysextour -

Posted by: castingcouchteens at July 31, 2005 11:52 AM
Post a comment









Remember personal info?