Key Issues

Magic Beans

Don't ya hate it when your kid pulls a bag of shredded cheese off of the counter?...upside down.

Don't ya hate it ten times worse when YOU do that? Heh. Yeah, I'd never done that either until yesterday. So there I was, walking and talking, and simultaneously littering the floor with a trail of monterey and cheddar...

That is but ONE example of some of the stupid shit I did yesterday while under the influence of that scribed yellow pill, that which was intended as a mild muscle relaxer, yet was actually the closest thing to tequila in a capsule that I've ever encountered.

I was drunk. Undrivably, untalkably drunk. Yes, someone attempted to call me. Too bad I answered the phone upside down.

No shit.

I figured it was a bad connection and hung up. Well, I eventually hung up. I had to find the side of the phone that had the buttons on it first.

If that was you, I apologize.

Is cool now.

(Magic beans to go on the market shortly. And, of course, the law abiding citizens among you know that I'm kidding. The rest of you know where to find me.)