Key Issues

Osama Bin Flat-footed

Apparently I have something in common with Osama bin Laden.

Well, now, it's like this, as Marfan Syndrome is an equal opportunity syndrome, we can't exactly discriminate against evil, stinky men who seek to take over the world.

And, if anyone deserves a disfiguring curvature of the spine, that dusty goat tops the list. Something interesting, however, about this connective tissue disorder, is that after years of researchers simply assuring that the syndrome did not adversely affect intelligence, recent correlations have been drawn between the affliction and increased mental aptitude, some describing those affected as being "bright and charismatic." Yet, so far, this makes absolutely no sense from a biological standpoint. (No need to bow to my aptitude. I was given the "bullshitting" gene, the sans elastic skin, and the scoliosis. My cousin got the genius, and had he survived the condition, I'm sure he would have taken over the world.)

Other historical figures assumed to have had Marfan Syndrome include Julius Caesar, Charles de Gaulle, Sergei Rachmaninoff, Mary Queen of Scots, Abraham Lincoln, and violinist Nicolo Paganini.

Regarding, Osama, I have a plan. I'll set up shop in the dusty caves of the Middle East performing echocardiograms for the Marfan afflicted desert rats. When he shows, I'm 50 million richer... provided I survive of course.

(Incidentally, and as a tangent, can you think of anything you'd do for 50 million dollars that you wouldn't do for 25 million dollars? Sorry, I've been stuck on that...)