Observations by Key Monroe~~Home of Right Opinions, Cynical Viewpoints, and TMI in Hefty Doses
|E-mail: keymonroe [at] alltel [dot] net

February 20, 2005

Garlique (and/or other "odorless" Garlic Supplements)

Still stinques.

Many take it, I know. My favorite drug store clerk, a previous employer, my mother-in-law, the list goes on. I do not hold it against them, but they need not go on under the assumption that they don't stink. Perhaps not all, but many bloodstreams pick it right on up, and spit it right back out.

How do I know they take it? Well, I must admit that in the case of the first two, I assume. If they don't take it, they must eat, breathe and gleefully roll around in minced garlic on a daily basis.

The third case study listed is my mother-in-law. She is the stereotypic in-law, from the know-it-all whine to the scary, too-arched eyebrows. And she is proud enough of her garlic supplement to brag about it. Bubble burster that I am, I had to (sweetly) inform her that the stink-blocks don't always work on those things. (Sound rude? Hey, I'd want to know. Point being, if I take it to the forum without first addressing, I'm passive-aggressive. And I'd much rather be aggressive-aggressive. I am, however, pleasant enough in my candor. I have references.)

Anyway, she schooled me back. "I finally found one that doesn't cause an unpleasant odor," she gloated condescendingly, even as the breath that carried her words filled the air with a thick garlic stinch, typically more indicative of one having recently enjoyed a hearty Italian meal.

I try to endure, really I do. But usually I end up having to take a step back. I am courteous enough, though, not to pass out.

Now. I understand the need to be heart smart, particularly given that my heart is not my healthiest organ. I will eat oatmeal and cheerios, take meds if necessary, but not garlic therapy, not unless I'm using it to treat a severe case of anthropophobia.

I'm leaning quality of life over quantity on this one, but if I were ever to resort to such drastic measures as this one, I would give everyone a wide berth, and run a disclaimer before anyone attempted to get near me. And I suppose I would have to give up my love life entirely, including the vampire seduction scene fantasies.

Too brutal. No thanks. We all gotta go sometime.

posted by Key on 10:49 PM | Comments (4)

There's no such thing as too much garlic. When I make a pizza, I use so much garlic it looks like another layer of cheese.

Posted by: Sam at February 21, 2005 03:17 PM

I'm all about cooking with it. That doesn't exactly leave you with a 24/7 affliction, and besides, everyone in the household is evenly offensive, so that works.

Posted by: Key at February 21, 2005 09:37 PM

You're right, just so long as everyone eats it...no problem.

Posted by: Sam at February 21, 2005 10:18 PM

HI !!
Recently had a medical challenge turning 50+ , my physician stated i had high blood pressure , scheduled to see him in two weeks. Began a regimen of odorless garlic supplementation the next day, 850 mcg tablet once a day " Natural Brand - Triple Garlic " . Saw Dr. in two weeks , blood pressure dropped 35 points. DO YOU THINK I WILL STOP TAKING MY GARLIC SUPPLEMENT , HUH!!! Thanks for the comment line, Regards, W. Wells

Posted by: walt wells at February 25, 2005 04:10 PM
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