Observations by Key Monroe~~Home of Right Opinions, Cynical Viewpoints, and TMI in Hefty Doses
|E-mail: keymonroe [at] alltel [dot] net

March 17, 2005

I Have Guilt

So warped...I have derived much too much pleasure, and killed way too much time Shizzolating your blogs. I have Zonker to thank for my new toy.

Suddenly, my blog roll has sprung to life!

Allow me to share:

Velocipimp does golf: The Players Championship will never has da cachet of The Masters, or British Open, of course n' shit. History n' shit. Tradition n' shit. Amen Corner n' shit. Bobby Jones." St." Andrews n' shit. Royal Troon, know what I'm sayin'? Etcetera, etcetera n' shit.

Aciddogg still wants a cookie: I seen a gravy post at this site today, 'n I really wanted comment on that shiznit n' shit. But I got da dreaded "yo' ass gots register 'n log in leave a comment" notice...

Queen G schools a reader on the art of detecting sarcasm: ..da force of da criticism overwhelms me." ..I admit that shiznit, know what I'm sayin'? ..I just hate blind muthas." ..always has." They're always out there showing off they, um, blind stuff, like those, um, dogs n' shit.

Random Bruthah studies the French language: French, at least at da level I know that shiznit now, is not quite as flexible, causing me speculate that da French use mo' colorful, image evoking expressions compensate fo' da smaller reservoir of bomb diggity.

Sam my man goes on a squirrel hunt: This is one sweet pellet gat, wit fiber optic sights, 'n an adjustable trigger n' shit. I slid a hollow point in da chamber, drew a bead, 'n popped tha dude's ass from 'bout 45 yards, know what I'm sayin'? Dis da first time I capped anything, 'cept a flowerpot, wit a hollow point pellet, 'n I'm impressed n' shit.

I only wish I had the time to shizzle all of you...

posted by Key on 04:59 PM | Comments (8)
» Velociworld links with: Lest Ye Doubt
» Thunder And Roses links with: Why can't we all just get along?

I'm so glad you enjoyed that little toy...it just never occurred to me that the Shizzolator wasn't a regular toy for all the boys ang girls...

As for me, my site's motto becomes: "Let's try that shiznit 'n see what happens."

'N shit.

Peace out.

Posted by: zonker at March 17, 2005 05:11 PM

Dat's da bomb diggity.

Posted by: Velocipimp at March 17, 2005 05:28 PM

We need a got-dam shizolator like we need everybody having a shit-dripping asshole in the the middle of their foreheads. I don't see a fucking thing funny about it.

"Ya, bro, if I see de dis you be laying on me, I'll break out my gat and pop a cap on yo' cracker ass. I be doin' seven years standin' on my HEAD, muthafucka! Jive-ass honkie. I talks just fine and me and the hoes like it. If you don't, FUCK YOU, whitey!"

Damn, Key. That's just funny as hell, isn't it?

Posted by: Acidman at March 17, 2005 06:53 PM

Miss Priss will be going to school with those thugs in a few years. See how amusing the shizolator is when that happens. I see that shit every day and I find no humor in it at all.

'N shit.

Posted by: Acidman at March 17, 2005 07:02 PM

Shizzin yo cracker ass was definitely the most amusing.

We need a redneckafier as well. I know it's got to be simple, nothing more than a global replace. I'll have to consult with the tech gods on this one.

(Regarding the other, I went to a 100/0 school thru 10th, then a 50/50 my last two. Huge change, but NEVER had a problem. Say what you will, my black friends were the most open, the most blatantly honest, and the most entertaining. They harbored no ill will toward me. This is street jargon. Kel and I speak it when we chillin. It's good for the groove, so don't be hatin'!)

Posted by: Key at March 17, 2005 09:37 PM

Hey Key,

Try this translator

Just Damn!

Posted by: Dax Montana at March 17, 2005 11:09 PM

Key, how's this one? Maybe this one?

Good luck on the Redneck-a-fying.

Posted by: Margi at March 18, 2005 12:16 AM

I tried one of the redneck translators on something I'd written and it didn't change anything...

Whut ya'll reckon is up with thet?

Posted by: DaveH at March 18, 2005 08:46 AM
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