Observations by Key Monroe~~Home of Right Opinions, Cynical Viewpoints, and TMI in Hefty Doses
|E-mail: keymonroe [at] alltel [dot] net

July 26, 2005

Blogmeet Rules

1. Do NOT be late to the airport when carpooling with my gurrl, the Blightess. She is a woman on a mission, and she will flat throw the POTUS under the bus if he gets between her and a blogmeet! (To her credit, she did ease up a bit on the 25 minute delay cursings, as we were afforded a front row view of Airforce One taking off directly in front of our plane. Very cool. We shall have pics soon.)

2. Do NOT make fun of Joe Dirt when he upgrades his ticket to biz class and gets stuck by an elderly lady who can talk nonstop for over an hour.... in FIVE languages, AHAHAHA!!!!!!!, so much for "No hablo..."

3. Do NOT tell this man or his loverly wife that you only got three hours of sleep and that you need a nap. He will look at you as though you have five heads, and SHE will melt you down with dimples and bright blue eyes. There is no fighting this couple. Just go easy on yourself, and give in.

4. Do NOT bother trying to get comfortable in the tire swings at Margaritaville. They suck, as the tilt is not optimal for the human behind, but I love the idea. And I gave Jason the bartender my url, and he PROMISED to comment. Helloooo... Jason? I also gave him a few other urls. Hey, they was swingin' with me; surely they don't mind.

5. Do have a conversation with a local blogger. She might actually be nice and tell you how NOT to look like a retarded tourist, besides new blood is always exciting to us creatures of the night. Speaking of new blood, I met a new honey in person for the first time in Nola, and he is a good 'un. Always great to meet someone who's been hanging out faceless on the blogroll for a while.

6. Do show cleavage to the honeys on the balconies for premo beadage. Do NOT take your shirt off and rub your nipples with wetted fingers, not even for the cutie with the red mohawk.

7. Do talk dirty in Swedish to Roy, the handsome carriage driver, because I'm betting he's waited his whole life to hear someone of the opposite sex utter those very words!

8. Do buy something pink, frilly, and emasculating to spring on the guys once they've had one too many.

9. Do buy something freaky for the freaky. When dealing with deities, it is best to come bearing gifts.

10. Do SHARE your compromising photos! Hey, it's Nola! These things are to be expected. And, hey, these pics prove that you are more than simply the sweetheart, the charmer AND the intellectual that we all know and love...you are also a SUPAH-STUD!

11. Do NOT feel like a class A LLLoser if you passed out before sundown on either one or BOTH evenings. You are the stuff legends are made of. Besides, the town knows no time. And yet, if someone is busting her sweet ass trying to walk yo butt back to the hotel because she happens to have developed an affection for yo silly ass, do refrain from napping all spontaneous-like all over the sidewalk, okay?!

12. Do NOT forgot to thank the makers... In this case, two excellent friends, Sam and Christina. Thank you SO much for insisting I attend. I have picked a bit here, but only to refrain from being overly sappy. At any gathering, seating didn't matter. That is how much everyone enjoyed one another. I can not thank you two enough! I wouldn't have been there if not for you.

13. If you missed it this time, do NOT miss it next year!

posted by Key on 11:14 PM | Comments (13) | TrackBack (0)

Joe Dirt?! Hahaha! Twas so great to see you again, Key. Hope you can make all the rest. Just no pushing me out of carriages, 'kay?

Posted by: zonker at July 26, 2005 11:21 PM


That line about throwing the POTUS under the bus had me laughing so hard I think I peed in my chair a little. As I recall, I never threatened to throw ANYBODY under a bus if we were late to New Orleans...I just threatened to vote Democrat for the rest of my g-damn life if he messed up our trip.

Snork! U so crazy. It was a wonderful time, and thanks so much, again, for driving us to el aeropuerto.

Posted by: Kelley at July 26, 2005 11:22 PM

Oh, honey, you are the consummate Southern Belle. I'm so very glad to have had the opportunity to spend time with you.

Talk to me now about that women's only blogmeet someone mentioned.

; )

Posted by: Christina at July 26, 2005 11:22 PM

Joe Dirt! Ha ha ha! This just to deflect scrutiny from me.

Posted by: Velociman at July 26, 2005 11:34 PM

As HOT as you girls were, the beads didn't flow until I bared my nipples. Course, it WAS in front of the Hustler Club. I rest my whatever.

Posted by: Velociman at July 26, 2005 11:38 PM

kelley, i think i might a peed too!! key, you are too funny..i'm laughing now gurl..

Posted by: shoe at July 27, 2005 12:36 AM

Damn. Zonker fell asleep on both nights? I didn't know that...I just caught the one with the shoes on, blah blah;-)

Zonker and I need to talk I think. Caffeine is a beautiful thing.

Posted by: sadie at July 27, 2005 01:46 AM

You have an interesting Blog.

Keep up the good work.

I hope the half of the people who found you are the GOOD ones!


Blog: Getpoor.com

Posted by: Steve at July 27, 2005 04:51 AM

So glad you had such a great time, you deserve it!

Went and took a look at who you spent your time with and I can certainly see why the meet went so well. What a great bunch of people.

Posted by: BeeBee at July 27, 2005 06:05 AM

It was a blast, Key. I'm happy you were there. We'll definitely have to do this again.

Posted by: Dash at July 27, 2005 08:53 AM

Sounds like y'all had a great time. I'd like to hear about the women only blog meet as well? And what's this about Eric and Helen?

Posted by: Moogie at July 27, 2005 10:50 AM

KEY baby...it wouldn't of been the same without you.

Have you recovered?

Posted by: Sam at July 27, 2005 11:44 AM

I'm sorry I missed this one...sounds like everyone had a blast.

Nawlins is a great town. Last time I was there, even I scored some fine shiny beadage by flashing the old Man-Yabbos. Awright, so maybe they ain't too particular on them balconies.

Maybe the next one in Jawjuh...

Posted by: Elisson at July 28, 2005 10:55 AM
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