Observations by Key Monroe~~Home of Right Opinions, Cynical Viewpoints, and TMI in Hefty Doses
|E-mail: keymonroe [at] alltel [dot] net

May 19, 2004

Quick Question...

Do nurses hate me?

I get the same thing every time:

"Have a seat."

These will be the last words that she will speak to me until it's time to get my weight.

She almost looks at me, as she glances away from my chart long enough to poke a thermometer into my mouth. (I then go cross-eyed trying to read it, because I know she won't bother to tell me the results.)

She writes down the results and pulls out the blood pressure cuff. Again, if I want the numbers, I have to ask for them. That, or read them upside-down as she writes them down. If I go this route, I must do so quickly, before she slams the file shut and asks the inevitable:

"I'm gonna need you to step on the scales."

Yeah, I won't be trying to read this one. She can keep this nasty little number all to herself.

So, I step on the scales. She plays with the slidey-thing, turns around so as to face the audience of her peers, and like a village crier, articulately screeches out my weight to all within earshot.

What? Is she friggin kidding me? I feel like the victim of poor sit-com humor.

Why?

Do nurses scope us out in the waiting room, and then place bets as to where we'll weigh in?

Somebody enlighten me.

This happens every. single. time.

posted by Key on 10:05 PM | Comments (13)
Comments

I shit you not, Key, before stepping on the scale I tell the nurse, "Do NOT say it outloud. I'm already depressed enough as it is and you don't want to be responsible for my anti-depressant overdose, do you?"
It works EVERYTIME.

Posted by: DeAnna at May 19, 2004 10:35 PM

Well, gaguing from your photo posted last Christmas, I'd say it was jealousy...

I've never had the problems you describe.

But then, *I* am a guy...

Posted by: Jack at May 19, 2004 10:52 PM

Hmmm. I dunno. I usually look like crap when I go to the doctor.

I assumed it was standard practice. And I think Deanna's comment counts as a second.

Posted by: Key at May 19, 2004 11:42 PM

Yup. Happens. Every Damn Time.

And I'm fat, unlike you and DeAnna.

I don't think they do that to men.

Posted by: Beth at May 20, 2004 01:21 AM

Dear Key:

Find another physician. Believe it or not, I actually INTERVIEWED my personal physician from five final candidates, recommended by a friend of mine who's a trauma-surgeon at the local hospital.

I actually GRADED 'em on five categories:

1. Currency and number of diplomas and certificates

2. Ability to deal with specific medical issues (everyone's got something they're watching closely, or should be!)

3. Convenience to my home (that one was easy!)

4. Competence and professionalism of staff.

5. Overall ability to relate to ME.

I started with fifteen. Only five were willing to participate in what I called a 'preclient meeting.' They were the ones I worked with, and I chose one VERY good man from the pack.

See? It CAN work - you just have to take charge of your own medical care.

Don't let 'em tell you "I'm a doctor -- I know best." That's nonsense -- otherwise; we wouldn't have malpractise insurance in America.

Good luck!

- Will

Posted by: Will at May 20, 2004 04:55 PM

I don't know why they do that either. I have been overweight and I've been thin. Never appreciated having them do that either time.

Next time I go to the Dr. I'll ask. In fact that might even stop it once the realization is there.

What's the worst that can happen?

Posted by: BeeBee at May 20, 2004 07:02 PM

Naa,Key they are not after you, if they were, the would post your weight on the Web for all to see. Its just a ploy to get you buy into whatever diet plan the doctor is pushing at the time.

Posted by: James Old Guy at May 20, 2004 07:39 PM

Yes. Nurses hate you. It's nothing personal mind you. But they swore an oath to hate all skinny people.

Posted by: Adam at May 20, 2004 08:28 PM

You know, that really doesn't bother me too bad when they do that -- what I hate is having to sit bare assed except for one of those silly little things they call a gown on the table for an hour and a half (like I did last year before my physical exam) until they decide to grace you with their presence.

Posted by: tracey at May 20, 2004 09:30 PM

Hey KEY...you know, anytime anyone tells me to take a seat...I'm looking for a way out. Don't trust that at all. Know what I mean?

Posted by: Sam at May 20, 2004 09:49 PM

lol--know what ya mean!

And, thank for the feedback...glad it's not just me.

Posted by: Key at May 20, 2004 11:40 PM

ljkbl

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