Key Issues

You should copyright your last sentence - you could make a fortune selling it on little plaques for people to hang in their dens and bars and such. And, I don't mean to show that I am such a heathen, but your description of his "chaste testimonial" is absolutely the damnest thing I have ever heard - honestly beyond my comprehension.

Innocence is God's gift to children. Orgasms are God's gifts to adults.

Well said, I'm glad I'm an adult.

"I didn't even kiss my wife until the minister gave me permission to do so at our ceremony. And we ONLY have sexual intercourse if we are trying to conceive a child, as that is its purpose."

Unbelievable, you are joshing me - right?

Please tell me you are...

I'm not buying it either. Every other animal on the planet can figure out out to procreate without pictures or instruction. We humans are the intelligent species. This is somebody's idea of humor. I call "bullshit."

Wow, thanks Tracey, but I fear that me and fortune are contradictions in terms.

Sam - I was there, man. I can conjure a visual of the nerdy cultoid forming the words.

Quinn - animal instinct! exactly.

Dear Key:

As dangerously weird as that story sounds, I've got a similar one for you.

One of my neighbors is an OB-GYN. When she and her husband (also a surgeon) are post-call, I sometimes take pity and bring over a pitcher of 'ritas and rehash the day in their hot tub.

She told me the following:

Not long ago, a painfully-rural young lady (probably the result of inbreeding, or at least, breeding-while-consuming-moonshine-made-without-copper-tubing) spoke with my neighbor about sex.

(Understand that Oregon has this indigent-resident-health-care system so even the poorest of Oregon's residents can have a modicum of health care.

Y'see; the girl had been married for about six months. She wondered if she had one of those "STD's" she'd heard about.

After questioning her, my neighbor assured her that there was no disease involved -- she was perfectly healthy.

The girl had asked my neighbor if it was normal for her to have a creamy discharge right after having sex. She was afraid to tell her husband about it, because she was afraid....

(If you're not rolling your eyes at this one right about now, you should be).

Absent the obvious (Where was her MOTHER when she was growing up? How did she fail to learn anything at all?) -- I have to fall back on the old chestnut that there really ARE two universal elements -- hydrogen; and stupidity....

Cheers!

-Will

Snopes is on the case. It looks to be a hoax.
http://www.snopes.com/pregnant/nosex.asp

Cult school, eh? There are uninformed idiots conducting classes in government schools everywhere, so why wouldn't there be a few in religious schools as well? I bet there are even some uninformed idiots conducting classes in home schools. A savvy student with involved parents will spot the BS on their own every time. Learning to separate fact from biased opinion presented by those in authority is part of the education process. But it's Oh-So-Hip to slip in a subtle anti-religion jab. Nice going.

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