Anybody Want a Dog?
I love my dog, really I do. But she's a friggin head case.
Kira is beautiful, part husky, part shepherd. I rescued her from animal control over two years ago. (She was to have been put down the next day.)
Her nerves are fried. I give her muscle relaxers when it storms. But she is otherwise a very laid back and loving animal. She's very quiet and very affectionate...and very stupid.
Every time I let her out, she crawls her retarded ass through a tiny 18" opening leading underneath the porch and into the mud. She honestly thinks that she should be a mud-dog by day and a carpet-dog by night.
Not happening. I can't let her in onto our nice, freshly cleaned carpets once her happy ass is caked with Georgia red clay.
So, she's spent the last three days underneath that stupid porch. I was hoping she'd get enough of it.
Last night she begged to come in, and I caved. I gave her another bath...tore up the bathroom again, clogged the drain again.
I took solace in the fact that my twice a month housekeeper would be coming today, and she would be tackling the bathroom this time instead of me.
I took Kira out twice on the leash this morning, then left a note to my housekeeper begging her not to let the dog out.
She just called.
She's very sorry, but she didn't see the note until she came in, and by then, Kira was already out.
"Is she under the porch?" I asked.
"Yes, I'm afraid that she is," came the hesitant reply.
It's really a good thing I'm not home right now. I would probably be throwing ice water all over the porch...which would only exacerbate the situation, but it'd get her out from under the stupid porch.
Any ideas?
(I can't block the opening, or she'll turn the raised flowerbed in front of the porch upside-down to get in that way.)
Sorry, no suggestions. I have some people in my life who not entirely metaphorically have taken the same role as Kira has in your life...
Best of luck to you.
Call Eric, The Straight White Guy.
My dear Key, dogs are dogs. I have had, and loved two, and they would rather roll in (and smell like) dead fish than eat steak every night. I dunno what to do, they're just dogs.
Mothballs.
My grandmother put them in her flower beds to keep stray cats from using them as litter boxes.
When I had two dogs who decided that they HAD to poop under the dining room table where I had to crawl on my hands and knees to clean it, I put a bowl of mothballs under there and they never went under there again.
Zoe use to chronically dig one hole in the backyard. I sprinkled mothballs in the hole and voila! No more digging.
I don't know if you can sprinkle mothballs where she gets under the porch but it might be worth a try.
Thanks guys.
Jack, honey, you've got it bad. ; )
DeAnna, thank you. I'll have to try that.
Mothballs are a good idea. There are also some sprays to repel dogs - "Bitter Apple?" - to keep dogs from chewing on trees and stuff. My old dalmation ignored the spray and ate the trees anyway, but it might work under your porch.
Is it hot there, yet nice and cool under the house? If so, I don't blame her. LOL!
If you're prepared to go that way, a thin, slightly electrified wire could be strung among the flowers...
I am NOT sadistic, so don't even go there! ;)
Moth Balls?
Damn. I'd hate to have the title "moth castrater" on my resume.
Jim
Sloop New Dawn
Galveston, TX
One of those electric fences that trigger a shock collar would work.
You could try something like this:
http://www.x10.com/products/x10_ms14a.htm
Hook it up to turn on an old vacuum cleaner or radio turned up really loud.
Another thing you could do is make under the porch more inside friendly. Some of that landscaping, water permeable sheeting covered with wood chips would keep the dog out of the mud at least.
Just shoot the goddam dog. Problem solved.
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