Key Issues

The Cynical Bitch Within

During daylight hours, as I sit at this Post-it covered desk processing orders, collecting invoices and answering three lines, I seem to have fallen into the all-American habit of worshiping and hoarding every spare moment that I can steal for myself.

Therefore, I don't like to spend a lot of time on the phone unless I'm actually enjoying the conversation. But, hey, business is business. Sooo...for local repeat business, I am supa friendly, flirtaceous enough, and I give them just the right amount of hell to keep them coming back for more. (Yes, that would be my way of building business relationships.)

When the nationwide management companies call to bug the friggin crap outta me check on orders, I am cordial, in fact, usually I even muster some friendliness, as I tell the clueless customer service rep what she needs to enter into the system regarding the file.

When a telemarketer calls, I am cold as ice....if they're lucky. If I have the time, and I feel like being a pain in the ass, I listen to the spiel, dissect the sales pitch, then ask the guy if this is what he planned on doing with his life when he grew up.

While that's rude and even hypocritical, since I'm not exactly doing what I had aspired to become, I think the unsolicited intrusion - glazed with sugar-sweet concern for my existence should I continue to go on without their product - beyond rude.

So, just now the phone rang, I answered, and an incredibly friendly, and way too chipper voice sprang out of the receiver, "Good morning!" he sang, "How are you today?"

About to hang up on you I thought as I said, "Fine. And you?"

"Good, good! I'm doing great!"

Silence. What? Was I supposed to respond to that?

He continues, "Well, the reason I'm calling is because I've heard good things about your company, and I'd like to send over an order."

WHAT? He's sending me business? That's not the way it's supposed to work. If anyone ever in their life sounded as though they wanted to sell me something, this guy did.

"Sure," I replied, as I wondered if he appreciated the surprise in my voice. "Here's my fax number..."

"Thank you so very much!" (There are no words to describe the exuberance in the man's voice.)

....And that was that.

Now, am I cynical bitch or was that guy Canadian?

(I'm afraid it's the former. While the guy was definitely upbeat and polite, he didn't have the accent...)