Observations by Key Monroe~~Home of Right Opinions, Cynical Viewpoints, and TMI in Hefty Doses
|E-mail: keymonroe [at] alltel [dot] net

December 23, 2004


I admit it. I'm a bum efficient. I'm always looking for the short cut.

But I've never had much use for Kitchen gadgets. Fancy processor thingys with multiple attachments. Bah. I can manage.

So, I made homemade toffee for Miss Priss's teachers last week when school let out. Let it be known that I painstakingly hand chopped and chopped and chopped three cups worth of pecans. Made the toffee, agonized over pulling it at the right temp, made the right call, added chopped pecans, covered with chocolate, and garnished with more pecans.

Perfect. Awesome. Incredible. I kicked ass. Even my picky ass husband ran me down the road for giving it all away.

No prob, I assure, I'll make more for the little guy's teachers. That was to be today's project.

This morning's attempt failed thanks to boiling water within the candy thermometer. Hardened black sludge I produced. Heh. Who's been bad this year? I got your Christmas present right here...

This afternoon, I decided being down to the wire, I needed a short cut. So, I looked around my Kitchen for some appliance that would chop pecans for me.


Well, I thought, my blender has a chop button on it. What the hell. In goes the pecans.

And out comes three cups of pecan powder. ...Oops.

What the hell? Let's try this little thing. Timing is perfect this time on the toffee. I add the pecan powder, and whattya know? Groovy chemical reaction. I no longer have toffee. Thanks to the two cups of pecan "flour," I now have toffee COOKIES. Fluffy, crumbly, sugary sweet pecan shortbread.

It now sits in the fridge awaiting trial by me. It is yet to be determined whether this stuff is passable for Christmas treats.

But it sure as hell ain't what it coulda been.

I share this as a public service announcement, as I have found yet another short-cut which does not pay off.

Blenders are for margaritas. Somebody make me one.

posted by Key on 02:51 PM | Comments (5)

"Fluffy, crumbly, sugary sweet pecan shortbread."

I don't know, Key... sounds pretty dadgum good to me... ;)

Posted by: pam at December 23, 2004 03:03 PM

I'm drinking a "Rita" in your honor as I type.


Posted by: Sam at December 23, 2004 04:48 PM

I'm thinking "pecan powder" on ice cream.

Posted by: Jim - PRS at December 23, 2004 09:26 PM

First, Merry Chritmas Key!

Now, about that peCAN stuff you made. It's all in the marketin'. Go on and give it to the teacher, just label it, "PeCAN Jerkey".


Posted by: RedNeck at December 24, 2004 04:33 AM

Key, just make up a name of what it is supposed to be and nobody will know the difference! You may go down in the history books as a great inventor of new candies! *well, it's possible* Hope you and your family have a Merry Christmas!

Posted by: Michele at December 24, 2004 08:18 AM
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