Key Issues

Presents Are So Expensive

Next year, I'm buying cat toys. This decision was born yesterday, at the family gathering.

Miss Priss latched on to my cousin's daughter, who is 10. These girls are a dangerous combo. Both Pisces, they are drama queens, articulate, descriptive, and worrisome. Okay, they are freaks.

The presents were opened. They oohed and aahed appropriately, posed for pics, then split.

They emerged a few minutes later and found me in the Kitchen. "Come to the bathroom with us," they say.

"Nah," I say with a smirk, "I think you can handle that on your own."

Frustrated, the elder of the two grew specific in her demands, "We want you to see our SWINGING PENDULUM OF DEATH!" (This delivered with creepy voice and mischievous eyes.)

While I laughed and appreciated the creative phrase, I was unfortunately held captive by an aunt and a fru fru dog.

Time lapsed. I had forgotten about the conversation. I had forgotten to take a bathroom break. I finally did so.

I walked into the grandparent-style bathroom with the crocheted doll over a roll of toilet paper the primary decor...or it had been anyway.

I stepped back with a gasp as I witnessed my first rodent suicide. There, on the shower bar and hung from a string, was the most realistic looking furry brown fake mouse I believe I've ever seen.

"Swinging pendulum of death" indeed.

(So tempted to return the Bratz Ski Lodge for a slew of cat toys...)