Observations by Key Monroe~~Home of Right Opinions, Cynical Viewpoints, and TMI in Hefty Doses
|E-mail: keymonroe [at] alltel [dot] net

March 02, 2005


...but I like to call it surgery.

My dermatologist begs me to "stop picking!" "Make me blemish-less, and I won't pick," I respond. And then we go back to discussing his world travels.

I've seen him lance stuff. And I think that for $300, I can do it myself. So tonight, I finally tired of a small, nodular, but bigger than a sty-looking thing in the corner of my eye.

Don't touch the eye! I know. That is why I left the damn thing alone for well over a month. But it wasn't healing, and as it seemed to be content to have bedded down permanently, I decided it had to be sliced. So I collected my tools - alcohol rubs, magnifying mirror, exacto knife - and I went to work.

Why is the skin so different around the eye? Too stretchy, too thin, and [holy friggin crap] too sensitive. The tearing certainly didn't help, but mission accomplished and, yes, I still have an eyeball.

I wonder if I am one of only a few with this compulsion. You see, if there is any sort of nastiness gathering under my skin, I can't get to it fast enough. Must kill it, explode it, level it, collateral damage be damned. What with this "apply compress and wait for it to go down" crap? What am I trying to show it my nurturing side? So I read that on a helpful site from the office, then I came home and lanced the beast!

Who are they talking to anyway? Who has that kind of will power?

posted by Key on 10:59 PM | Comments (6)

Anyone who doesn't admit to locking the bathroom door and assaulting the errant warhead is a damned liar. The toughies are the nether regions, when you have to work off a multiple mirror setup in X-tremely Sensitive Territory.

Posted by: Velociman at March 2, 2005 11:25 PM

I so agree with you!!! Ugh, it's not possible to leave that stuff alone. You wouldn't believe the long list of "don't dos" we got in nursing school. I memorized it, regurgitated it, spouted it to poor helpless patients and... paid not one bit of attention when it came to me... heh.

Posted by: Teresa at March 3, 2005 01:29 AM

me too. And my husband, too.
I can't stand to leave that kind of thing alone!

Posted by: Beth at March 3, 2005 11:34 AM

It's an ugly experience, but sometimes it simply has to be done. I'm fortunate. I still have about 50 diabetic-gauge needles from back in my "fix-a-flat" days. I figure that if I could stick one of those needles in my goddam DICK, I could use one to lance any "rising" I get.

It works, too.

Posted by: Acidman at March 3, 2005 01:38 PM

I had a "thingy" on my left upper eyelid.

I used a fresh pair of fingernail clippers - to me it worked better to "snip" it instead of cut it...

Mark --

Posted by: Mark -- at March 3, 2005 01:51 PM

.. that was hardcore..

Posted by: Eric at March 3, 2005 02:38 PM
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