Key Issues

Self-Mutilation

...but I like to call it surgery.

My dermatologist begs me to "stop picking!" "Make me blemish-less, and I won't pick," I respond. And then we go back to discussing his world travels.

I've seen him lance stuff. And I think that for $300, I can do it myself. So tonight, I finally tired of a small, nodular, but bigger than a sty-looking thing in the corner of my eye.

Don't touch the eye! I know. That is why I left the damn thing alone for well over a month. But it wasn't healing, and as it seemed to be content to have bedded down permanently, I decided it had to be sliced. So I collected my tools - alcohol rubs, magnifying mirror, exacto knife - and I went to work.

Why is the skin so different around the eye? Too stretchy, too thin, and [holy friggin crap] too sensitive. The tearing certainly didn't help, but mission accomplished and, yes, I still have an eyeball.

I wonder if I am one of only a few with this compulsion. You see, if there is any sort of nastiness gathering under my skin, I can't get to it fast enough. Must kill it, explode it, level it, collateral damage be damned. What with this "apply compress and wait for it to go down" crap? What am I trying to show it my nurturing side? So I read that on a helpful site from the office, then I came home and lanced the beast!

Who are they talking to anyway? Who has that kind of will power?