Observations by Key Monroe~~Home of Right Opinions, Cynical Viewpoints, and TMI in Hefty Doses
|E-mail: keymonroe [at] alltel [dot] net

September 22, 2005

Partay at Sammy Baby's

Okay, so there is a meet coming up. And some of us will be cozily lodged all up in a cabin that may look accommodating, but let me be real:

Our place will NOT be partay central! (Though I am told it shall house cupcakes and untold riches Friday evening, and who can argue with that?!)

But no, da down-n-dirty partay headquarters for the majority of the weekend will be in Sammy Baby's room, as he has so eagerly volunteered, peep lubber that he is.

He will not nag you about cigarette smoke, as I will. He will think your jokes are funny when you are trashed, even if he has heard them before. He will smile and wink and promise not to blog about your party fouls, at least until the bruises heal. He is just ideal. Unmatched, there is no one like him, or more likable than Sammy Baby. And this is why Velocigod has gifted him with the highest honor imaginable: he shall be trustee of the Chatham Artillery Punch.

Sammy only has a few party rules, and let's see if I can remember them:

-No firearms in his room. He is still nervous from the last time you turkeys tried to kill each other's intoxicated asses with live ammo.

-No illegal substances in his room. He is a purist, you see. He would never dream of defiling his body with things that could get him arrested.

-No naked people in his room. If you break this rule, yo naked butt will appear on the internet. But no worries, this is a family show, so we will Photoshop in pink tassles in all the right places.

-No hootananny in his room. Okay, okay, there may be hootananny, but I ain't singing. And neither is Sam. We will be outside tying tin cans to your bumper and writing "Proudly Supporting Gay Marriage" on your back windshield with hot pink shoe polish. (Not that there's anything wrong with that...)

I think there was one more, but I can't remember it, so he'll just have to leave it in the comments. As for law enforcement, don't look at me! I just make 'em; another branch does the actual work, I believe. I'll be in my hot tub if you need me.

posted by Key on 11:27 PM | Comments (24) | TrackBack (1)
ยป Cadillac Tight links with: Blogroll maintenance

Cannot wait!!!!

Posted by: zonker at September 22, 2005 11:39 PM

I second this motion. Sammy's. Because you really, truly, don't want to hang in my room with The Bride. She hates bloggers. Especially me. And, when under the influence of Artillery Punch, she will tell you all about it.

Sammy's! Hey, Sam? Got an extra pillow?

Posted by: Velociman at September 22, 2005 11:41 PM

Again. WHy can't we do these after an election day? Oh yeah, that's right, only two states have elections this year and I should be unemployed.

Just Damn!

Posted by: Adam at September 22, 2005 11:44 PM

So does that mean I should leave my guitar and kazoo at home?

Posted by: Denny at September 22, 2005 11:55 PM

Wha? If you do that, what the hell are me and Sammy gonna do with all these hot pink condoms and ribbons?

Heh. You know I playin' honey. Bring it on. That way you can sing Happy Birthday to me and Zonkman.

(But I'M really not singing!!)

Posted by: Key at September 23, 2005 12:02 AM

There are two, and I'll get back to you with 'em...but in the meantime...what the fuck have I done???

Oh, and number three: There will be no packing of the fudge.

Posted by: Sam at September 23, 2005 12:22 AM

But Sammy! There is most EXCELLENT fudge in Helen. So you may change your mind once you get there. ;)

And yar baby, YOU DID IT!, YOU asked for it, and you shall receive. See? I can be accommodating.

Posted by: Key at September 23, 2005 12:39 AM

Ummmm...there are surely alot of rules for this meet. Maybe I'll just let the man go, and stay home...because, you know, of the fudge.

Posted by: Moogie at September 23, 2005 07:24 AM

no passing out naked in sammy's room? what?? was that rule implemented before or after nola? where is a drunken girl to pass out anyway???

Posted by: shoe at September 23, 2005 09:24 AM

.... same hotel as last year?...

Posted by: Eric at September 23, 2005 11:14 AM

Yar Eric! Wha? You haven't booked?

Shoe, go ahead and pass out naked. Tell ya what, just for you, I'll put someone else's head on your body when I post the pics. I'm thinking Vman or GOC.

Posted by: Key at September 23, 2005 12:13 PM

Or this time we can just take pictures with her camera but just not tell you, Shoe. We'll let you find out when you go to get them developed. You're gonna be so popular at the local One-Hour Photo.

Posted by: zonker at September 23, 2005 12:44 PM

I need you. In the hot tub, you say? On my way!

Posted by: Bane at September 23, 2005 01:48 PM

Denny --

Yes, yes, YES to the guitar and kazoo! I'm bringing along an instrument for V-Man. Should be... ummmmm... INTERESTING.


Posted by: Omnibus Driver at September 23, 2005 05:40 PM

OK. I guess I'll put new strings on the guitar, just in case.

Shoe - You can pass out in my room. Better you than Dax. I just hope I can make it back to my room this year. Last year I had to crash where we partied. Whoa! Was that room a mess. Full ashtrays. Empty booze bottles and a freakin' tree in the bathtub. I'm surprised they're letting us come back this year.

Posted by: Denny at September 23, 2005 06:43 PM

Fudge packing? Great Christ! I'm bringing my voodoo doll in that case. It's tag say "THIS DOLL IS FOR ATRACT LOVE". We shall see...

Posted by: Velociman at September 23, 2005 07:07 PM

It is amazing, Denny. They LOVE us ovah there. The frond? That was a beautiful thing. HALF of it ended up in mine and Kel's room!

Posted by: Key at September 23, 2005 07:10 PM

... that was MY room you guys stole...

Posted by: Eric at September 24, 2005 07:54 AM

Damn I'm so jealous! I would so love to be there. You people better do a bang up job of partying and blogging about it. I want all the details. You know I just have to live vicariously through you all!

Posted by: livey at September 24, 2005 07:19 PM

I absolutely love your blog page. I could read it all night long and then some. I am your blog groupie. Seriously, I believe you have a natural talent for writing. However, most of the blogs are in some sort of code so I did not understand half of what I was reading. This may be directly proportional to my IQ, but I am not sure.

Posted by: Lola at September 25, 2005 10:15 PM

Whoopsie. I forgot to link the email.

Posted by: Lola at September 25, 2005 10:18 PM

Eric - If you hadn't forced all that vodka down my throat I coulda made it back to my room.

Posted by: Denny at September 25, 2005 11:04 PM

Lola...that ain't code...it is reality...I kid you not.

Posted by: Sam at September 25, 2005 11:14 PM

Eric Fiona and I gave that room away we couldn't do the stair thing. See everyone Friday. I do have the punch bowl and cups real glass now that's class.

Posted by: ga at September 28, 2005 08:27 PM
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