Key Issues

Better Late Than Never? (Hopefully...)

I have caught a meme.

I took Echinacea and Zinc, drank herbal tea, and disinfected furiously, but apparently all that did was draw out the incubation.

Couldn't have caught it from a better fella, though. My hunky bro. My Elmo skinned fiery sofa screwin' hero!

Symptoms of this "meme" virus include revealing stuff about yourself that you would usually only reveal after several martinis. "Myself" can be boring, so I shall try to be brief, given the lengthy questions. This for you ADD turkeys, but if you want details, lemme know... I can rock on.

What were three of the stupidest things you have done in your life?
(Or in my case, what three things have you done that are so stupid that they almost got you killed?)

1. Climbed the wrong side of Stone Mountain. The side with the faces. No equipment. No brains, apparently. (I was 17.) Damn steep. Woulda been evicted from the park if caught fo sho, and yet, I found myself wishing for a helicopter rescue. ...Ended up climbing the sewage lines - out of desperation - to get up to the fence at the top. (The sign on the other side of the fence read "DANGER: Do not go beyond this point." ...This, btw, accounts for my fear of heights.)

2. Electrocution by percolator. Tip: Do not plug cord into wall before plugging into metal percolator, particularly if you have a wet countertop. It fucking hurts. I am told that I am alive thanks to my GFCI surge protectors.

3. I forget this one. I think I killed the brain cells responsible for that particular memory, but I'm pretty sure it had something to do with wrong place, wrong time, etc.

At the current moment, who has the most influence in your life?
My daughter. Not because of her wisdom, still budding, as opposed to her sass, which hopefully has peaked, but because every major decision that I make is centered around this child of mine. And maybe one day, she'll even appreciate it. (Or not...)

If you were given a time machine that functioned, and you were
allowed to only pick up to five people to dine with, who would you pick?

1. Jesus (of course)
2. Hemingway (my sick attraction to tormented souls)
3. FDR (to ask WTF?)
4. My great, great, great, great grandparents (I would give them some Nikes, a solar calculator, and the blueprints for the Model-T in exchange for their purchase of 10 acres, gulf front, to be deeded to their great granddaughter's eldest granddaughter's eldest daughter.)
5. My great, great, great, great grandchildren (Just want to see what they will look like, and have them bring me a few historical almanacs. Sports, lotto numbers, etc.)

If you had three wishes that were not supernatural, what would they
be?

1. Well, I'd rather not be deformed. Naturally. Although, I will readily admit that it could be worse. And one could argue that the wish would be better spent adopting a great talent. Hey, it was a tough call.

2. Money honey. Not so that I could be rich and sit on my ass, but so that I could build all of the ideas that are stuck in my head, tormenting me. I feel certain that I could turn 50 million into 500 million in ten years or less. (Don't believe me? Loan me $50 mil. I'll even cut you in on the profits, generous soul that I am.)

3. Can't I PLEASE have the power of suggestion? You know, so that I can control political decisions without ever having to leave my living room?? It's not really supernatural. Not like flying or being amphibious... (If the answer is NO!, then I'll settle for being a guy for a week. A fine honey. I don't want to commit; I just want to see how the other half lives.)

Name two things you regret your city not having, and two things people should
avoid.

A theater would be nice. Shit, a Taco Bell would be nice...

Avoid the east side of town. Things happen there. Not pretty things. Oh, and don't get your script filled in town, unless you want the whole county to know what ya got.

Name one thing that has changed your life.
One thing? Marrying, mothering, foster parenting, blogging... Oh wait, was this supposed to be a change for the better? Heh. Of course, nothing is bigger or better than becoming a mommy.

Keep the virus alive. Swap spit with five hotties.
1. Elisson P.I.
2. Velocisizzle
3. Catdaddy
4. Random Petit-Ami
5. Red Hot Step Bro

If you've already done it, gimme yo link. If you don't want to do it, you should have thought about that before you strutted yo fine stuff all up in the blogosphere.

Get busy.