Observations by Key Monroe~~Home of Right Opinions, Cynical Viewpoints, and TMI in Hefty Doses
|E-mail: keymonroe [at] alltel [dot] net

September 09, 2007

Here Is The Scoop

The dirt.
The gossip.
The Jerry Springfield version. (Okay, maybe not that interesting. Unless, of course, this post attracts a trolling ex.)

Are Vman and I dating or not?

We've hit a few hurdles:
1. One of us - no names - is not a Jawja blogger, and is, in fact, living 400 miles from the other.
2. One of us - no names - is 17 years younger than the other.
3. One of us - no names - is known for occasional escapism/brain marination.
4. One of us - no names - has an ex that is A) not okay with the idea, and B) somewhat unstable.
5. One of us - no names - is a romantic idealist and is not okay with four major hurdles.

Why are you just now hearing about this? Because, dammit, we are very private people, who have been in desperate search of solid ground, and admittedly, although we love some of you people immensely, we can be very selfish with our alone time.

Why are we telling you now? Because even we, with the heavily lidded blind eyes, can only ignore speculation for so long. Besides, we are getting hitched in Vegas next weekend, and we feel obligated to invite the cream of the blogworld crop.

Really? Uh no. Just wanted to see if you were paying attention. Really, we have a bunch of deep, enviable feelings, with which we won't gross you out, but suffice it to say, it didn't take much negotiating to talk me into giving up the putrid world of online dating in favor of retiring the on-again, off-again.

Apparently chivalry is not dead in Velociworld, as its gracious host has personally guaranteed the defeat of at least two of the four hurdles. One of the four is not physiologically possible, and the remainder, while not impossible, is nearso, and would take massive doses of potent bud to tame.

Therefore, we are committed with two, and are hoping to get by with a little help from our friends. (Yes, that be you misfits.)

posted by Key on 06:29 PM | Comments (29) | TrackBack (0)

Geez, I'm missing out on all the GOOD gossip... this is the first I'd heard of this sordid tale.

Posted by: Jack at September 10, 2007 01:18 PM

Holy cannoli. That's really cool.

Posted by: Jimbo - PRS at September 10, 2007 09:15 PM

Congratulations! Just make sure he washes his face after the dog kisses him and before you do!

Posted by: Peggy U at September 11, 2007 01:43 AM

Velocisex! Is it all its cracked up to be???

Posted by: johnB at September 11, 2007 03:27 AM

Y'all will do just fine as long as you don't try to change each other into the Ideal Mate. Be what you is (for as long as y'all have been walking the planet, you have little choice to be anything else) and take comfort and pleasure in that.

Posted by: Elisson at September 11, 2007 09:51 AM

I KNEW it!

I think it's awesome!

Posted by: De at September 11, 2007 10:50 AM

D*mn, we just now hearing about this??? Ya'll sure are good at keeping secrets,,,or I've just been out of touch with reality too long!! *L*

Posted by: Michele at September 11, 2007 01:35 PM

Cool!! Ahem -- my finely tuned lurker antenae picked up on this vibe well over a year ago. Glad to see I wasn't just imagining things! -- LOL the saga of the Jawja Bloggers goes on & on & on -- you guys are better than TV! (and to think that I started reading blogs in the interest of expanding my understanding of politics!) Best wishes to you both (putrid world of online dating, indeed -- Shudder!)

Posted by: Marianne at September 12, 2007 01:37 AM

Happy happy for you.

Posted by: keeskennis at September 12, 2007 06:37 AM

Dude. It's about damn time.


Dana (formerly The Origin of Soul)

Posted by: Mia at September 12, 2007 12:11 PM

Damn Key, I thought you were going to wait on me?

Posted by: Catfish at September 12, 2007 03:52 PM

Are you insane?

Posted by: Rube at September 12, 2007 03:59 PM

Well, well, well!

Alternatively, "Just Damn!"

I won't say congrats yet, but I hope to do so in the near- to mid-future, depending on how it goes.

I won't say "you're a perfect match", but someday I will, I hope!

BTW, we met, briefly, at the Wreckyll in Jeckyll.

My best regards.... WARD

Posted by: Old Weird Ward at September 12, 2007 05:15 PM

Wow...I don't know what to say. Obviously, I've been out of touch for too long.

Posted by: Moogie at September 12, 2007 05:15 PM

Hey! Someone stole my line...

Posted by: Dax Montana at September 13, 2007 11:44 AM

Wouldn't Acidman have had a field day with this.

Posted by: Dishonorable Schooboy at September 13, 2007 01:17 PM

Dax, hon, is this the first time you've notice that blogworld steals your line? :)

(Thanks to all for the well wishes, caveats, faux shock, genuine shock, etc.)

Posted by: Key at September 13, 2007 05:53 PM

Personally, I have to go with Rube on this one.

Posted by: Velociman at September 13, 2007 07:06 PM

Some say people get what they deserve... In this case, that's just a lie... ;)

Key, please let him go fishin' with me next year sometime ok? Pretty please?

Posted by: RedNeck at September 14, 2007 08:57 AM

Just remember, Velociman supports "packing of the fudge". You were there...you were part of the setup...Break Left.

Posted by: Sam at September 14, 2007 09:39 AM

Be happy. :)

Posted by: Chickie at September 14, 2007 02:55 PM

Surpised? Not at all.

Happy for you? You bet.

Posted by: Kira's Mom at September 14, 2007 07:54 PM

So I guess this means I can't jump your bones. Dammit!

Posted by: Denny at September 15, 2007 11:43 AM

I was wondering when you two were going to figure this out. And hmmm, looking at the hurdles, are we to take this to mean co-habitation is in your future?

Posted by: Libby at September 16, 2007 04:15 PM

... wait.... Denny can jump??.... man, the world has gone upside down lately!..... must have been that trip to Belgium.....

Posted by: Eric at September 16, 2007 10:31 PM



Posted by: armywifetoddlermom at October 6, 2007 04:54 PM

Say again? Could you repeat that please? pass4sureSorry to keep you waiting.,MB7-514What does he have that I don't!,HP0-087Serves you right! You get what you deserve.,000-255You mind your business and I'll mind mine. Don't be a stranger.,642-544Sounds like a pain in the ass.,000-778Hey we meet again.,642-565I had no idea.,642-425Have you been listening!,MB7-514You name it. They've got it.,HP0-A01Everyone wins. Good for both sides.,1z0-001Stop bossing me around.,642-533I'm so hurry that I could eat a horse.,000-207Take it easy.

Posted by: Marguerite213 at January 12, 2009 03:45 AM

You haven't changed a bit. pass4sureWhat are you thinking!,000-293It's easy for me.,VCP-310Bullshit.,642-587Just listen to me and you'll be fine.,70-643Leave me be. Do you want to talk?,70-290I'm just kidding.,MB6-509Can't be picky (about food).,000-209I don't care! But your rival has everyone's favor.,sy0-101Don't be so stubborn.,640-801I'm not leaving until I see you. Be there be square.,jn0-400How about this instead!,642-383I'll be ready within five minutes.,000-078Nerd. All he does is study. He never goes out. What a nerd

Posted by: Deborah894 at January 14, 2009 12:10 AM

BI0-112 That's too good to be true. 640-460 You can tell. You gained weight didn't you? You can tell. HP0-J24 I don't know him well. 642-072 How dare you stand me up. I don't care! But your rival has everyone's favorĄ­. What's it to you! Over my dead body! No way. 642-873 I had no idea. You lost. 70-646 (It's )Up to you. You can do it.

Posted by: kestrel1996 at February 26, 2009 04:29 AM