Key Issues

Thanks Fellas

If only I had more time to play on the internet...If only I could get DSL at home, I would no doubt devote each and every weekend to this noble sport.

Alas...as this is not the case, I sincerely thank Velocimaster and my Mystery Guest Blogger for keeping my lonely blog company over the weekend.

Perhaps, should they choose to continue the trend, they can prevent my weekend hits from plunging into the teens, thereby screwing up my averages in the days to follow...at least that would be my line of thinking were I a hit-counter, which I'm not...not that there's anything wrong with that.

MGB, I laughed and I cried. Truly no one has ever dedicated such a tribute on my behalf. But don't think that I don't get your aim. You mean to inflate the expectations of those who have not yet met me, no? Yeah, that's the ticket. Then, when they do meet me, the disappointment will be tangible.

Shrewd. Still, next time I'm right and you are so terribly wrong, I will go easy on you. You've earned that much. Maybe I'll even let you win one.

But, in the effort of honesty, I must set the record straight. This is what I look like. Not only that, but my skin and my tan have run off together. I need new ones.

Also, I will be giving up the following things for Lent:

caffeine, alcohol, sprouts, half-rubber, toking, rolling, geeking, flirting, exercising, and swallowing.

The last two are stellar sacrifices on my part, therefore I see no reason to further torture myself by giving up my chocolate...nor my boy toys.

(Understand that this list is preliminary. I still have a few months to tweak out the kinks.)